R-E-S-P-E-C-T

A friend shared the most unusual story with me the other day. She said she has a friend who loves "Rocky Mountain Oysters." If you've never heard of them, they are animal testicles, usually pig, bull or sheep. This friend of hers had a hankering for fried deer tendergroins. So her story goes that when her husband sees a dead deer on the side of the road, they always have to stop by to cut off, well you know, to take them home for this guy. This particular day they emasculated three deer on the side of the road. I am pretty sure I just stared dumb-founded at her. It's not usual small talk fare. Hard for me to think, "Mmmm, yum, gotta get me some of those."

But it does tie in with what Daddy and I wanted to talk to you about today ... emasculating your husband - in the verbal sense, of course. Our Father has made husbands the head of the household. In the age of equality, folks don't like the idea of one person in the marriage being the head of the house, but honestly, it is quite a responsibility. And they answer to God for their choices and behavior on behalf of their family.

No one knows this head of household better than the wife (other than God, of course). As a result, we ladies can be quite persuasive and manipulative. And sometimes even cruel. We know exactly the words to say to dig at the one we love. Women have to be very, very careful not to de-oyster their husbands. A wise person welcomes correction, so we're not saying women should sit idly by if her husband is making an inappropriate or incorrect decision. But there are ways to do that. Loving, gentle, non-nagging ways. "You're not doing that right. Let me do it," for example is not the way to go about building up your husband, supporting and encourage him. You've already chipped at his strength with those nine little words.

As loving wives, selected by God for these men, we need to prayerfully consider how and when to share any less than positive information with our husbands. First off, build him up. Let him know how proud you are of him. What has he done at home or at work that could use a compliment. You may be the only compliment he gets. He is your knight in shining armor, your hero, not just in your eyes, but in his. So let him be that. Make sure you make the effort to remind him how wonderful he is.

Things to avoid:

1. Don't point out his weaknesses or flaws. Chances are, he probably already knows about them). If something needs tweaking, prayerfully consider whether or not you should make a suggestion. Know that oftentimes when you pray, God will do the tweaking, and He is far better at it.
2. Don't compare him to other men - particularly your own father. Remember that he wants to be #1 in your eyes.
3. Don't ever critique him for what he earns on the job. His job and earnings are God-ordained. 1 Timothy 5:8 says, "Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own familiy, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." So when are are providing for you, be content with what the Father has provided, work with him and budget.
4. Don't parent him. He already had two of those. You don't like to be patronized, so don't do it to him.
5. Unless he is being abusive, don't complain to your friends or family about your husband. First off, bitterness loves company, so it encourages an evil. But secondly, you never ever want your family or friends to think less of your husband. I have a friend that complained often to her mother about her husband. As a result, the mother refuses to visit the couple anymore as long as he's around. I know another woman who complained frequently about her husband to her small group. When he passed away, the women had a hard time believing she was the "grieving widow" after hearing for years about how awful he treated her, and it made it difficult for them to empathize with someone they weren't sure truly missed his presence.
6. Avoid sarcasm. There is nothing respectful or edifying about it. 
7. Don't belittle him. Not in private. Not in public. It's the worst kind of disrespect and so harmful. Proverbs 12:7 says, "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones."

Love him, support him, encourage him, pray for him. If you want him to be your hero, treat him that way.

Discussion: Ladies, do you ever make some of the "don'ts" above? Tell about a time when your beloved did something amazing. Men, what is the one thing you hate to hear from your beloved?

Prayer: Lord God, you have given our husbands quite a reponsibility to his wife and family. We pray Lord for your blessings on them as they fulfill their obligations. We pray we are patience, loving and respectful of these men you have brought into our lives. Thank you for their place in our lives. In Jesus, Amen.