R-E-S-P-E-C-T

A friend shared the most unusual story with me the other day. She said she has a friend who loves "Rocky Mountain Oysters." If you've never heard of them, they are animal testicles, usually pig, bull or sheep. This friend of hers had a hankering for fried deer tendergroins. So her story goes that when her husband sees a dead deer on the side of the road, they always have to stop by to cut off, well you know, to take them home for this guy. This particular day they emasculated three deer on the side of the road. I am pretty sure I just stared dumb-founded at her. It's not usual small talk fare. Hard for me to think, "Mmmm, yum, gotta get me some of those."

But it does tie in with what Daddy and I wanted to talk to you about today ... emasculating your husband - in the verbal sense, of course. Our Father has made husbands the head of the household. In the age of equality, folks don't like the idea of one person in the marriage being the head of the house, but honestly, it is quite a responsibility. And they answer to God for their choices and behavior on behalf of their family.

No one knows this head of household better than the wife (other than God, of course). As a result, we ladies can be quite persuasive and manipulative. And sometimes even cruel. We know exactly the words to say to dig at the one we love. Women have to be very, very careful not to de-oyster their husbands. A wise person welcomes correction, so we're not saying women should sit idly by if her husband is making an inappropriate or incorrect decision. But there are ways to do that. Loving, gentle, non-nagging ways. "You're not doing that right. Let me do it," for example is not the way to go about building up your husband, supporting and encourage him. You've already chipped at his strength with those nine little words.

As loving wives, selected by God for these men, we need to prayerfully consider how and when to share any less than positive information with our husbands. First off, build him up. Let him know how proud you are of him. What has he done at home or at work that could use a compliment. You may be the only compliment he gets. He is your knight in shining armor, your hero, not just in your eyes, but in his. So let him be that. Make sure you make the effort to remind him how wonderful he is.

Things to avoid:

1. Don't point out his weaknesses or flaws. Chances are, he probably already knows about them). If something needs tweaking, prayerfully consider whether or not you should make a suggestion. Know that oftentimes when you pray, God will do the tweaking, and He is far better at it.
2. Don't compare him to other men - particularly your own father. Remember that he wants to be #1 in your eyes.
3. Don't ever critique him for what he earns on the job. His job and earnings are God-ordained. 1 Timothy 5:8 says, "Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own familiy, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." So when are are providing for you, be content with what the Father has provided, work with him and budget.
4. Don't parent him. He already had two of those. You don't like to be patronized, so don't do it to him.
5. Unless he is being abusive, don't complain to your friends or family about your husband. First off, bitterness loves company, so it encourages an evil. But secondly, you never ever want your family or friends to think less of your husband. I have a friend that complained often to her mother about her husband. As a result, the mother refuses to visit the couple anymore as long as he's around. I know another woman who complained frequently about her husband to her small group. When he passed away, the women had a hard time believing she was the "grieving widow" after hearing for years about how awful he treated her, and it made it difficult for them to empathize with someone they weren't sure truly missed his presence.
6. Avoid sarcasm. There is nothing respectful or edifying about it. 
7. Don't belittle him. Not in private. Not in public. It's the worst kind of disrespect and so harmful. Proverbs 12:7 says, "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones."

Love him, support him, encourage him, pray for him. If you want him to be your hero, treat him that way.

Discussion: Ladies, do you ever make some of the "don'ts" above? Tell about a time when your beloved did something amazing. Men, what is the one thing you hate to hear from your beloved?

Prayer: Lord God, you have given our husbands quite a reponsibility to his wife and family. We pray Lord for your blessings on them as they fulfill their obligations. We pray we are patience, loving and respectful of these men you have brought into our lives. Thank you for their place in our lives. In Jesus, Amen.

Good And Not Harm

Ladies, this is addressed to you, so, fellows, sit back for just a bit. You will have your chance during the discussion time to agree or disagree with this particular devotion. But for now this is for the girls and we want your undivided attention.

Do not, under any circumstances emasculate your future husband. If you are unfamiliar with the word, it means to "deprive a man of his male role." (In ancient days, it meant to castrate them, but we are using the word metaphorically).

What we mean is do not make fun of them. Do not nag at them. Do not humiliate them in public. Do not demean their occupations or hobbies. Do not cut down their physical appearance. Do not take away their man-ness. Now that may sound silly, but it is crucial you adhere to this. Men were given the job of being the head of their household by the Creator Himself. Ephesians 5:23 says, "For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Savior." This doesn't mean he is "the boss of you." What it means it God has given him the responsibility to care for you the same way Christ cared for the church ... and we know the extent Christ went to. God created men with certain personality traits designed for leadership in the home. If they are demeaned in anyway, particularly by their wives, it's like chipping at the core of who they are ... or as archaically described above, like castrating them.
 

Proverbs 31:12 says of a capable wife, "She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life." This is important for you to remember this. If God holds the husbands accountable for their families and households, should you not do all you can to edify him, encourage him, support him and love him? Trust us, as God is watching how your husband is treating you, He, too, is watching how you fulfill your job as "helpmate" in support of your spouse.

So there you go, ladies. Very important piece of advice ... let your husband be the man God intended Him to be as you are the woman he intended for you.

Discussion: Guy, agree or disagree with the above devotion? Any additions or suggestions? Do you have any examples of emasculation or of supporting one another?

Prayer: We thank you, Lord God, for creating men and women as you did. Help us, Father, to respect and support one another in our relationship, to do good and not harm all the days of our lives. In Christ, Amen.