Helpmate

Today is your mother’s – and future mother-in-law’s – birthday! She can no longer say she is with an older man. She’s 50 just like me as we continue this incredible journey God has laid out before us all those many years ago when we met as 18-year-olds.

I know Anton and Ayla have heard parts of this story over the years, but it is part of the journey that led both of us to pray daily for our two children’s future spouses since both Anton and Ayla were infants.

My sophomore year in high school, I began praying for my future spouse every day in front of the mirror in the bathroom before I left for school. I prayed for everything: beauty, brains, a heart for God as well as certain physical characteristics. You name it, I asked Him for it. God answered every request and then some. Jill will say He didn’t … She will say: “I’m not tall, long-legged and love sports.” But God, of course, knows better. If Jill loved sports and athletics, I would not have grown and been as well-rounded without all of the interests, skills and passions Jill brings to the table. He gave me everything I needed in her to be the perfect woman and helpmate on our spiritual journeys.

God has done the exact same for both Rob and Ayla and Anton and Kayla. Don’t ever forget that. People have prayed for who Anton and Ayla would be Christian partners with here on this earth for decades. So when issues arise in your married lives, and they will arise, remember that. And ask God why He brought your spouse into your life – in a particular instance that you might not understand at the time – to shape, mold and teach you to be more like Him in your journey.

 I cannot even begin to imagine who I would be without Jill. I was 18. I was driven. In some ways, I was mature. In some ways, I was not. I was self-centered. I had a rough few years prior to meeting her and was a little angry. It was me fighting against the world. I loved God, but didn’t really know what it meant. It was just loving God on my own terms.

 Jill was a shining light. Her relationship with Christ was evident to all who came across her. She loves passionately. She cares deeply. She’s beautiful, smart, resourceful, talented, goofy, driven, while always wanting to make a memory … taking the ordinary and making it special. Your mother used all of those characteristics to nurture and build up both of you. She’s always wanted the best for you and did everything in her power to nth degree to make that happen. After Ayla was born, Jill didn’t last long in the working mother world. At the time, I didn’t think it was the smartest decision. It was going from two similar incomes to one. We ended up doing without a lot.

Thank God your mom had the strength and drive to make it happen. I can emphatically say, Ayla and Anton, you would have not ended up as the well-rounded, caring, Christian people you have become if she had not sacrificed and stayed home to shower Christ’s love upon you. I would not have become the husband, father and man of God without her by my side to lead, love and support. She’s my best friend. She’s the love of my life. 

Happy birthday … my Pumpkin, my Cuppy Cake (inside joke) … I cannot imagine going through a day on this journey on earth without her. I hope and pray that all four of you can love your spouse as deeply and as passionately as I love your mother and future mother-in-law.

Discussion: Men, what are some characteristics you think are important for wives? What are some attributes you see in your fiance that will help grow you?

Prayer: Father, we give You all the glory and thank You for answering our prayers for the future spouses of our children. We continue to uplift all four of them in their future marriage journeys, that they will mutually benefit each other spiritually, edify and support each other. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Stomping in Syrup

We had a piñata at our reception. Bet you've never heard of that at a wedding before. And, no, we're not Mexican. It was a big paper mache white heart with fuchsia trim, a diagonal Cupid's arrow, a large pink bow, the name ZIMANEK near the top on one side and BRAD and JILL on the other. It was filled with Smarties, Tootsie rolls, bubble gum and the like. We did this because we had a lot of kids at the wedding and we wanted them to have something special just for them. Plus we didn't want kids to participate in the throwing of the bouquet and garter (which we felt weren't for little ones anyways), so my Mom came up with the idea of the piñata. The DJ played the Mexican Hat Dance (Jarabe Tapatio - which I think is about stomping in syrup? Go figure.) Your Daddy and I swung each other around, made a tiny tunnel for the kids to walk under and danced until we decided to take a whack at the piñata with a long white pole that had streamers at the top. It was my job to hit the heart. No matter how hard I tried, I could not get that piñata to break open. It would just spin round and round and swing to and fro on the string. So here is where your Daddy stepped up to bat. With one hard whack the heart plummeted to the ground, just a tiny crack near the top. So my Mom, slipped in, picked up the heart and shook candy all over the floor. It was a huge success. The little ones (and your then 17-year-old Uncle Greg) scurried everywhere to pick up pieces of candy. I still giggle at the video when watching Uncle Greg squeeze between children to sneak candy into his pocket.

That is how you make a memory at a wedding reception: you provide something a little different with flair so that it's something folks will look back on with fondness, not just because it was your wedding, but because it was so much fun. We heard for years after people remembering - of all things - the piñata at our reception.

Looking back on it symbolically, it was pretty perfect. Here we were, our newlywed hearts, hanging by a thin thread, each of us taking whacks at them. While I never think it is the intention of the wife or husband to chip away at their beloved's heart, it does happen. Nagging and put downs can slice away at a tender loving heart. You will need to be extra cautious not to do so, especially if you've already gotten in the habit of doing it. It's easy to poke fun or make the snippy comment. It prays upon ignorance and weakness. It truly is like stomping in the syrup. But when is it even slightly loving or edifying? If we are trying to build up our spouse to make them a better person, then the heart whacks have to stop. Romans 12:18 says, "If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." 1 Cor. 14:26 (while dealing with various aspects of worship) says, "Let all things be done for edification." And 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, "Therefore encourage one another and build up each other, as indeed you are doing." The last thing you want to do is whack at each other's heart so hard it cracks and falls to the ground. While fun as a piñata, a broken heart is not so much.

May your words be as filled with sweetness to one another as that piñata was with candy.

Discussion: What do you think of a piñata at the reception? What is something fun or different you can do at your wedding to make a memory? Do you ever catch yourselves taking a whack at each other's heart verbally? Tell each other something you love about your fiance.

Prayer: Lord, our hearts are tender and in your care. I pray, Lord, we care for our beloved's heart as You do ours. Help us to build one another up and not tear down. In Jesus, Amen.

Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Edification,-Means-Of#sthash.4RzyI8IK.dpuf

Let all things be done for edification.

Let all things be done for edification.

Good And Not Harm

Ladies, this is addressed to you, so, fellows, sit back for just a bit. You will have your chance during the discussion time to agree or disagree with this particular devotion. But for now this is for the girls and we want your undivided attention.

Do not, under any circumstances emasculate your future husband. If you are unfamiliar with the word, it means to "deprive a man of his male role." (In ancient days, it meant to castrate them, but we are using the word metaphorically).

What we mean is do not make fun of them. Do not nag at them. Do not humiliate them in public. Do not demean their occupations or hobbies. Do not cut down their physical appearance. Do not take away their man-ness. Now that may sound silly, but it is crucial you adhere to this. Men were given the job of being the head of their household by the Creator Himself. Ephesians 5:23 says, "For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Savior." This doesn't mean he is "the boss of you." What it means it God has given him the responsibility to care for you the same way Christ cared for the church ... and we know the extent Christ went to. God created men with certain personality traits designed for leadership in the home. If they are demeaned in anyway, particularly by their wives, it's like chipping at the core of who they are ... or as archaically described above, like castrating them.
 

Proverbs 31:12 says of a capable wife, "She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life." This is important for you to remember this. If God holds the husbands accountable for their families and households, should you not do all you can to edify him, encourage him, support him and love him? Trust us, as God is watching how your husband is treating you, He, too, is watching how you fulfill your job as "helpmate" in support of your spouse.

So there you go, ladies. Very important piece of advice ... let your husband be the man God intended Him to be as you are the woman he intended for you.

Discussion: Guy, agree or disagree with the above devotion? Any additions or suggestions? Do you have any examples of emasculation or of supporting one another?

Prayer: We thank you, Lord God, for creating men and women as you did. Help us, Father, to respect and support one another in our relationship, to do good and not harm all the days of our lives. In Christ, Amen.

Where Two or Three Are Gathered

 Every single week, Brad and I meet with our accountability groups. Called Reunion Groups, we meet to share the highs and lows of our week, when we've discipled, our closest moment to Christ, what we've studied, if we've worshiped, when we failed in our faith and what our plans are for the next week. We do this so that our friends who love us in the name of Christ hold us accountable for our faith. Are we being the Christians God called us to be?

Our small groups have truly evolved over the years. We were in small groups in TN and WI and then in Emmaus Reunion Groups in GA, WI and now AL, some couples and some by gender. We even had names from Koinonia, to Peacemakers, to Branches, to His Nails & Emails, to Fairway to Heaven, to Frozen Feathers among others. As one got too big, we split into smaller groups. As we moved, we had to join completely different groups. In some we fellowshipped. In others, we did Bible study. And in others, we did an accountability card we got on our Walk to Emmaus. All basically followed what the early disciples did in Acts 2:42 which says, "They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers."

But the point is, we've always needed it. While worship is necessary corporately, small groups are necessary for edification, correction and teaching. Our dearest friendships were born in these groups.

I know you both have been part of a small group and realize the value in it. And I know you've experienced change in that group. When they evolve, it can certainly leave one feeling a bit discombobulated. But every time we've had a small group change, it has opened doors to new relationships that were necessary to our spiritual growth. And we have been blessed beyond measure for it.

We recommend you are always involved in small groups, whether by gender or couples, as they are so beneficial to your faith. When you aren't in one, seek one out. If you can't find one, create one. When you are in one, participate regularly. Since you live away from family, this will become your church family, your brothers and sisters in Christ, and they will love you as such.

Hebrews 10:24-25 says "And let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Praying you'll not only do this for one another, but that you'll always have a small group that can also do this for you.Christ told us in Matthew 18:20, "For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” That's pretty good company to keep.

Discussion: What does a small group mean to you? What does it do for your spiritual journey? Share a special memory of your small groups.

Prayer: You have told us, Father, in Proverbs 27:17, as "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." Father, I pray we do not neglect in meeting with others in small groups so that we man benefit from sharpening one another to live as Christ shows us. It's in His name we pray, Amen.