Stomping in Syrup

We had a piñata at our reception. Bet you've never heard of that at a wedding before. And, no, we're not Mexican. It was a big paper mache white heart with fuchsia trim, a diagonal Cupid's arrow, a large pink bow, the name ZIMANEK near the top on one side and BRAD and JILL on the other. It was filled with Smarties, Tootsie rolls, bubble gum and the like. We did this because we had a lot of kids at the wedding and we wanted them to have something special just for them. Plus we didn't want kids to participate in the throwing of the bouquet and garter (which we felt weren't for little ones anyways), so my Mom came up with the idea of the piñata. The DJ played the Mexican Hat Dance (Jarabe Tapatio - which I think is about stomping in syrup? Go figure.) Your Daddy and I swung each other around, made a tiny tunnel for the kids to walk under and danced until we decided to take a whack at the piñata with a long white pole that had streamers at the top. It was my job to hit the heart. No matter how hard I tried, I could not get that piñata to break open. It would just spin round and round and swing to and fro on the string. So here is where your Daddy stepped up to bat. With one hard whack the heart plummeted to the ground, just a tiny crack near the top. So my Mom, slipped in, picked up the heart and shook candy all over the floor. It was a huge success. The little ones (and your then 17-year-old Uncle Greg) scurried everywhere to pick up pieces of candy. I still giggle at the video when watching Uncle Greg squeeze between children to sneak candy into his pocket.

That is how you make a memory at a wedding reception: you provide something a little different with flair so that it's something folks will look back on with fondness, not just because it was your wedding, but because it was so much fun. We heard for years after people remembering - of all things - the piñata at our reception.

Looking back on it symbolically, it was pretty perfect. Here we were, our newlywed hearts, hanging by a thin thread, each of us taking whacks at them. While I never think it is the intention of the wife or husband to chip away at their beloved's heart, it does happen. Nagging and put downs can slice away at a tender loving heart. You will need to be extra cautious not to do so, especially if you've already gotten in the habit of doing it. It's easy to poke fun or make the snippy comment. It prays upon ignorance and weakness. It truly is like stomping in the syrup. But when is it even slightly loving or edifying? If we are trying to build up our spouse to make them a better person, then the heart whacks have to stop. Romans 12:18 says, "If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." 1 Cor. 14:26 (while dealing with various aspects of worship) says, "Let all things be done for edification." And 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, "Therefore encourage one another and build up each other, as indeed you are doing." The last thing you want to do is whack at each other's heart so hard it cracks and falls to the ground. While fun as a piñata, a broken heart is not so much.

May your words be as filled with sweetness to one another as that piñata was with candy.

Discussion: What do you think of a piñata at the reception? What is something fun or different you can do at your wedding to make a memory? Do you ever catch yourselves taking a whack at each other's heart verbally? Tell each other something you love about your fiance.

Prayer: Lord, our hearts are tender and in your care. I pray, Lord, we care for our beloved's heart as You do ours. Help us to build one another up and not tear down. In Jesus, Amen.

Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Edification,-Means-Of#sthash.4RzyI8IK.dpuf

Let all things be done for edification.

Let all things be done for edification.

Brewing Bonbonnieres

You just recently bought tiny burlap bags for your favors. Knowing how much you both love coffee, you have decided to make your wedding favors bags of coffee beans with the note "Love is brewing." I love that these are so personal to you both.

Wedding favors date back to at least the 16th century, when guests were sent home with something representative of the couples love, like a knot of rope ... a love knot. Later, guests believed weddings were lucky, so to receive a gift from the wedding couple was seen as passing on the luck. Guests were given fives pieces of candy or almonds to represent health, fertility, wealth, a long life and happiness. The candies or almonds (or even a combination of the two: almonds dipped in a sugary candy coating) were placed in tiny boxes were called "bonbonnieres (think "box of bonbons" ... yum). Some were pretty fancy, made of precious metals, porcelain or crystal and covered in gemstones.

Today wedding favors are more about thank yous to guests for attending the wedding and typically reflect the personalities of the bride and groom. I honestly cannot remember what our wedding favors were. When I asked your Daddy if he remembered what ours were he said, "What are wedding favors?" I think we may have given out the candy coated almonds. Gonna have to look that up to see if I can find out. Were we to give out something today, I would imagine it would have something to do with writing or our love of the Father. I love that flavors are so personal now.

There is no doubt your love is brewing. While you both are passionately in love now, let us tell you, that your love will only grow and grow. The love we have for each other is probably 100 times what it was when we first professed it 31+ years ago. It is the core of who we are. Your love, like coffee, will energize you, comfort you, fill your life with flavor, be warm and toasty (and even have its iced moments), and percolate throughout the years to the perfect cup. Love is brewing indeed.

Discussion: do remember any wedding or party favors you have received? What are some that have
 meant something to you?

Prayer: Father, we thank you in advance for the sweet souls who will come to Rob and Ayla's wedding. We pray in advance for their safe journey to Florida and that they will enjoy witnessing their vows and celebrating. We also pray they will not only enjoy brewing their cup of coffee from the favors but also delight in this young couple's love. We love you, Father. In Jesus, Amen.

All Hallow's Eve

Today is Halloween! Such a fun holiday that our family truly enjoyed celebrating, from dressing up to trick-or-treating. A day of pretend and candy! What is not to love?

Each October, I trek into the attic to bring down the box of orange and black decorations, from my pumpkin lights, to my painted pumpkin acorns, to my cackling Janglin' Bones skeleton head. I also pull out the Halloween books, favorites like "The Ghost's Dinner" and "The Halloween Performance." But one book I didn't get until after my kids were grown and off to college. It's called "Room on the Broom."

I stood in the store and read this book by Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler from beginning to end. It's a sing-songy rhythmic rhyme of a book telling the story of a witch and her cat who continue to allow woodland creatures to have room on her broom as she flies about. Each animal - a dog, bird and frog - has helped her find something she's lost. When the frog leaps for joy while on the broom, it snaps in two and falls to the ground. It's then that a dragon finds the witch and decides he's going to eat her. Just as he's about to devour her, a muddy, sticky, feathered and furry beast comes out of the woods telling the dragon to "Buzz off! That's my witch!" The dragon flies off in fear, and the grateful witch thanks the animals who had piled on top of one another to look like a large scary beast to save her. She drops items donated by the animals into a cauldron and out pops a huge, stronger broom with accommodations for all.

I love this book. In the midst of a holiday filled with scary costumes, comes this precious book about being selfless, helping each other and working together.

Brad and I had a friend after we first married, named Dan, who waved to everyone. I mean, everyone. We asked him about it once and he said, "You never know when you might need their help someday." I used to wonder if Dan was ever on the side of the road with a flat tire and one of these folks stopped by and said, "Hey you're that fellow who always waves to me. Can I help you change your tire?" Regardless, he was always friendly.

I think it's that attitude of reaching out to every soul that touched my heart. I see that in both of you. You are always looking for ways to show people around you how much you love them, whether through food you cook or birthday crowns you make. And those tiny, sweet gestures touch the heart and are lasting and of value to the recipient.

We want to make sure you do the same for each other. Take time to do something every single day to show how much you love each other, without them asking or expecting it. It's something when you are first dating that people often do for each other, but as you are together for years, can slip into the past. Sweet things like Brad sitting through one of my goofy television shows just to sit near me. Or me cooking Brad a hearty meatloaf using his Dad's recipe because I know he loves it. Or Brad carrying the laundry basket into the bedroom cause it knows it is too heavy for me. Or me washing his car inside and out while he's gone so he has a clean car. Those little things can mean so much.

Halloween means All Hallow's Eve or All Holy Night. It's the night before All Saints Day commemorating the departed faithful. Its a good time to remember that part of being faithful, a saint if you will, is fulfilling something John Wesley once said:

"Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can.” 

And do it for each other. Happy Halloween!

Discussion: For fun, share about some of your favorite childhood Halloween memories. Tell about a time when someone did something thoughtful and unexpected for you. When you did something for someone else.

Prayer: Lord, Paul tells us in Acts 20:35 that your Son said "It is more blessed to give than receive." Help us to be true givers of time, talent and sweet gestures and gifts to your children and to each other. Thank you that you are the greatest giver of all. In Jesus, Amen.