Her Husband's Crown

Yesterday in my devotion time, I came across a couple of gems in Proverbs 21. In verse 9: "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." And in verse 19: "Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife." And who better to know this than the guy who married 700 of them. I can't imagine they were in good moods all the time. So I doubt there were any roof corners left for King Solomon (the writer of Proverbs) to hide in on a daily basis. That desert surrounding the Holy Lands would have been his only sanctuary from quarrelsome wives. But it's true that no one wants a nagging or quarrelsome wife. Now we could flip this and talk about husbands, but saving that for tomorrow. This is for the ladies.

See, we woman can be naggers. When we want something done a certain way ... when something hasn't been completed in a timely fashion ... when we just want something. And that nagging is described later in Proverbs 27:15 as "like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm." And we know what damage that'll do.

You're going to quarrel. But the point is to not be described as such. We're talking about someone whose personality leans that way. Constantly bickering, nagging, picking, patronizing, being sarcastic or critical ... it's negative and unfair. And slowly chips away at the man we love and respect so much.

You can't be Pollyanna (perky and optimistic) all the time - that's unrealistic - but it's equally unrealistic to be negative Nelly all the time, too. So pay attention to your moods. Leave work at work. Work out stress through exercise. Get plenty of rest. And spend a good amount of time in the Word of God. Because that same Word tells husbands this in Proverbs 18:22: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord." And this in Proverbs 12:4: "A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown." 

Discussion: Do you catch yourself being quarrelsome or nagging? What causes it? How can you prevent it?

Prayer: Gracious Lord, we can sometimes let little things irritate us to a point were we become the irritation. I pray Father we remember to be kind and uplifting to our husbands and not a drippy, leaky roof, so that our husband won't seek a corner of it to live in. In Christ we pray, Amen.

Helpmate

Today is your mother’s – and future mother-in-law’s – birthday! She can no longer say she is with an older man. She’s 50 just like me as we continue this incredible journey God has laid out before us all those many years ago when we met as 18-year-olds.

I know Anton and Ayla have heard parts of this story over the years, but it is part of the journey that led both of us to pray daily for our two children’s future spouses since both Anton and Ayla were infants.

My sophomore year in high school, I began praying for my future spouse every day in front of the mirror in the bathroom before I left for school. I prayed for everything: beauty, brains, a heart for God as well as certain physical characteristics. You name it, I asked Him for it. God answered every request and then some. Jill will say He didn’t … She will say: “I’m not tall, long-legged and love sports.” But God, of course, knows better. If Jill loved sports and athletics, I would not have grown and been as well-rounded without all of the interests, skills and passions Jill brings to the table. He gave me everything I needed in her to be the perfect woman and helpmate on our spiritual journeys.

God has done the exact same for both Rob and Ayla and Anton and Kayla. Don’t ever forget that. People have prayed for who Anton and Ayla would be Christian partners with here on this earth for decades. So when issues arise in your married lives, and they will arise, remember that. And ask God why He brought your spouse into your life – in a particular instance that you might not understand at the time – to shape, mold and teach you to be more like Him in your journey.

 I cannot even begin to imagine who I would be without Jill. I was 18. I was driven. In some ways, I was mature. In some ways, I was not. I was self-centered. I had a rough few years prior to meeting her and was a little angry. It was me fighting against the world. I loved God, but didn’t really know what it meant. It was just loving God on my own terms.

 Jill was a shining light. Her relationship with Christ was evident to all who came across her. She loves passionately. She cares deeply. She’s beautiful, smart, resourceful, talented, goofy, driven, while always wanting to make a memory … taking the ordinary and making it special. Your mother used all of those characteristics to nurture and build up both of you. She’s always wanted the best for you and did everything in her power to nth degree to make that happen. After Ayla was born, Jill didn’t last long in the working mother world. At the time, I didn’t think it was the smartest decision. It was going from two similar incomes to one. We ended up doing without a lot.

Thank God your mom had the strength and drive to make it happen. I can emphatically say, Ayla and Anton, you would have not ended up as the well-rounded, caring, Christian people you have become if she had not sacrificed and stayed home to shower Christ’s love upon you. I would not have become the husband, father and man of God without her by my side to lead, love and support. She’s my best friend. She’s the love of my life. 

Happy birthday … my Pumpkin, my Cuppy Cake (inside joke) … I cannot imagine going through a day on this journey on earth without her. I hope and pray that all four of you can love your spouse as deeply and as passionately as I love your mother and future mother-in-law.

Discussion: Men, what are some characteristics you think are important for wives? What are some attributes you see in your fiance that will help grow you?

Prayer: Father, we give You all the glory and thank You for answering our prayers for the future spouses of our children. We continue to uplift all four of them in their future marriage journeys, that they will mutually benefit each other spiritually, edify and support each other. In Jesus' name, Amen.