Outer Self Wasting Away

I was waiting for Kayla and her friend, Kim, in a parking lot at Maxwell Air Force base when I saw them. An elderly couple was getting out of their car and heading to the Visitor's Center. The husband in the couple was upright, but barely moving. He took tiny steps, moving his forward foot three inches at a time, tediously slow, while grasping his rolling walker. I remember saying a "bless his heart," and shooting an arrow prayer to the Lord on his behalf as he struggled to make the short walk to the door. His wife stood right beside him, walking just as slowly by his side. It gave me a beautiful look into a loving relationship that spanned time.

Several weeks ago, Daddy witnessed something similar. He was visiting a man in hospice who was struggling to scratch an itch on his head. His wife came over to him and started scratching his head for him to his instant relief. Your Dad said watching that transpire brought him to tears, to see that love between spouses.

Baring any unforeseen tragedy, you will live a good long time. And with all those years come the aches and pains of aging. Sometimes just a bit of discomfort, sometimes bigger struggles. Daddy and I joke that we do inventory every morning to see what hurts that day before sliding out of bed. Of course, sometimes you don't know until you're already on your feet and moving. A common thing we will say is, "When did that start hurting?" or "I don't remember doing anything to make that sore." I remember when I injured my knee about 10 years ago, and the doctor asked how it happened, I told her I had no idea. She responded, "Welcome to the 40s." And just about everyone we've talked to said it only gets worse with each passing decade.

According to the United Nations, the average life expectancy worldwide for humans is about 73 years; 78 years in the United States. Your body has a warranty that runs out eventually. And, depending on environment, genetics and how you care for it, that expiration date can fluctuate. But regardless, we are going to age. Time marches on. Attitude helps with regards to how we handle those changes, but know the changes still take place. Wrinkles, decreased bone density, deteriorating vision, stiff joints and poor memory come as we mature physically.

But the Lord tells us in 2 Corinthians 4:16, "So we do not lose heart, though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day" and in Proverbs 16:31 "Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life." We hope as you couples age together, that you will delight in your inner-self renewal and enjoy the adventure of aging. Having known your Daddy since he was 18 years old, I enjoyed watching him go from a skinny, smooth, bare-chested young man to a man with debonair grays, man muscles and crevices he attributes to stress. And I have loved every change. 

Recently I heard about an elderly couple where both the husband and wife had been hospitalized for various reasons. The hospital staff noticed how much they each missed one another and moved them into the same room, even pushing their beds together. The couple held hands over the bed railings. Staff there said the health of both improved when they were moved into the same room.

You are best friends and will be to the end of your days. While we pray you will be free from health complications as time passes on, we pray more so that you'll be there for each other to the end. Aging is inevitable. We hope you age beautifully as the couples listed above: caring, loving, appreciating and patiently waiting on one another, full of days ... as a blessing to each other and the Lord.

Discussion: Tell about an elderly couple you have seen and how they interacted with each other? How do you think you will be when you are older? Has anyone given you advice on aging?

Prayer: Father, the number of our days is in your hands. We pray we live each day to the fullest, taking care of ourselves and each other. And we pray those days are filled with glory for you. In Christ, Amen.

Take Care

When Ayla was little she was not the biggest snuggler. She would sit to hear a story, but then she was up and running again, things to do. But when she was sick, then she wanted to snuggle. And because she was sick, she wouldn't jump up and take off running again. She just let us hold her. While I never liked seeing my kids sick, and honestly it was quite rare that they were, I did enjoy the snuggle time when they weren't feeling well. Gave me more time to hold them.

With Ayla's wisdom teeth out on Monday, it reminded me of those times. It's hard for a mama to hear her daughter moan in pain on the phone, not be able to talk cause her mouth is full of gauze and then sound loopy on top of that. I told your Daddy, it's like someone strips the cover off your heart. You are aching because you are not there to care for your child. Yes, my child is a 24-year-old adult, but still my child nonetheless. I had two bits of solace: 1) the phone call from Ayla in her yet drug-induced slurred speech asking me to pray for her and 2) knowing that Rob was taking care of her.

We both commented that we were interested in seeing how Rob would do in that capacity. Would he care for our daughter the way we would if she was sick and here at home? Sounds like he did: called us and put us on speaker phone so we could hear how she was; got her prescriptions; helped her up the three flights of stairs to her apartment; was quiet while she slept; made her smoothies. We both breathed a sigh of relief. She was in good hands.

That is what your Daddy and I want for you both: to care for each other. To comfort each other in sickness and pain; to meet the needs that you may not be able to meet on your own; to go out of your way to do for each other in unexpected, precious ways. Caring is the the outward active way to show how much you love someone. Providing that safe haven and place of comfort will give you both security and peace.

However, we also recommend snuggling even when you're not sick.

Discussion: When you are sick, what brings you comfort? What ways have you shown each other you care?

Prayer: Lord, being sick or in a time of recovery isn't easy, so Father we pray we do everything in our power to help out our loved one during a time like that. But we pray we show our caring for one another other times as well. Helps us to find sweet ways to show we care each and every day. In Jesus, Amen.