Smash, Jump, Kiss

You have just been introduced as husband and wife, so what happens next in the ceremony? Depends on your culture. If you are Jewish, the groom will stomp on a wine glass. If you're African American, the couple will jump a broom. I read about a wedding between an African American and a Jewish person and they jumped over a broom and landed on a wine glass to break it. Clever way of combining the two.

Both traditions have meaning behind them. For the Jews, there are several explanations for the glass stomping. Some say it's in remembrance of the burning of the Jewish temple in 70 A.D. by the Romans. Stomping the glass reminds the newly married couple that they may encounter some sorrow in the marriage. Not the happiest of thoughts right after your nuptials. Others say it's based on a story in the Talmud where a Jewish rabbi threw a wine glass on the ground at a wedding to get the attention of some rowdy guests. This apparently calmed them down. My favorite explanation is a Jewish myth which says when we are born, the Lord smashes our soul into two pieces which need to find each other and reunite. At the wedding those two pieces are back together again. Apparently smashing the glass solidifies the relationship permanently. Knowing our luck, had we smashed the glass, it's would have gone right through your Daddy's rented white shoes and into his foot. Of course, the Jewish people wrap the glass in a white cloth to prevent any flying glass and injuries. After the glass is broken, folks shout good luck with a hearty "Mazel tov!"

As for jumping the broom, there are many stories about this as well for different cultures, but for African Americans this started in the 1800's. Slaves then were not permitted to marry because the rights of married folk outweighed those of the master's claims on his slaves, so they wouldn't let them marry (I know, horrible right? Ug). So they would have marriage ceremonies and jump a broomstick to signify they were married. The custom was all but lost until the television mini-series Roots aired in the 1970's and book author Alex Haley reintroduced and explained the custom.

The most popular end to the wedding ceremony ... the kiss! And what does that symbolize? Some say the joining of souls (similar to the Jewish explanation above) and others say it originated with the Romans as a way to seal a contract. For some folks it's the first kiss ever as a couple. Personally I like to just think of it as the very first kiss as husband and wife ... which is momentous enough.

So jump the broom, smash the glass and have a great kiss! Regardless of how you end the ceremony, the end result is the same ... you're hitched! Mazel tov!

Discussion: Have you been to a wedding where folks jumped a broom or smashed a glass? Have you been to a wedding where this was the couple's first kiss ever? What do you think of these traditions?

Prayer: Lord God, the traditions and myths listed above are interesting, especially the idea of the joining of souls. Father, we thank you for the one you've selected for us as two become one flesh. In Christ our Lord, Amen.

Unconditional Surrender

When asked what a first kiss as a married couple should be like in the movie The Wedding Singer, Drew Barrymore's character, Julia, says the kiss should be "thin, partially open, no tongue," then later adds some tongue may be okay, calling it "church tongue." Basically what she ends up demonstrating on her unsuspecting future husband, played by Adam Sandler, is a soft, gentle, sweet kiss. Works, cause Julia melts after it.

Anton and I were watching an episode of Say Yes To The Dress Atlanta (him begrudgingly), and they always end the show with a wedding. They showed the couple's first kiss in this episode (they usually do), and it was a tiny peck of a thing. Not even sure if their lips touched. Tone thought it showed little feeling. It reminded me of a scene from the movie She's Having A Baby when the pastor says "You may now kiss the bride," then adds, "but don't mess up her hair or her face because she still has to have her picture taken." That was my comment to Anton about this wedding we watched on the TV show: "I bet they just don't want to mess up her make-up." I think when folks are worrying about those things they've missed the point of that first kiss. I mean, let's face it, everyone loves that part.

History shows the wedding kiss had a couple of possible meanings: the exchanging of souls as two become one and the sealing of the contracted union between husband and wife. Whether one or the other - or even just because you wanna kiss - it should look good. I actually read something that it should be a five-second kiss to give everyone a chance to get a picture. I am trying to imagine a bride and groom counting in their heads, "one Mississippi, two Mississippi..."

Now we're not saying get all mushy and über sloppy, passionate up there making the guests uncomfortable, but good heavens, it should be tender, loving and have some staying power.

The very first kiss I landed on your Daddy was just that. He is way taller than me, and I kinda jumped up to kiss him. I think he almost got a fat lip over it. But it was a memory. Not one he's likely to ever forget. We got better at it of course. Our wedding kiss was a winner for sure. We hope that your first kiss as a wedding couple will be as sweet as some of the kisses we've seen you both share already.

Then don't ever stop. Keep those kisses coming ever after. When your Daddy and I leave each other any reason, we kiss goodbye. If I am in the middle of something, I have occasionally given him the quick peck on the lips, to which he responds, "That's no good! What if one of us dies today? Is that the last kiss we want to remember?" So then I make an effort to give him a better one. He's sweet that way. A kiss goodnight. I kiss good morning. A kiss hello. A kiss I missed you. A kiss I'm sorry. A kiss I love you. And the hubba hubba kissing (which I read burns 6.4 calories/minute ... you'll have to count up to 60 Mississippi for that though, hee hee).

Each kiss is special and important. Don't forget to kiss often. It makes you happy, lowers stress (even lowers blood pressure according to CNN), stirs the heart and some even say fights illness, helps in dental hygiene and is good exercise for your face muscles ... not even kidding.

So pucker up. Standing right there in Sarasota is a 25-foot-tall tribute to a famous one at the end of World War II: Unconditional Surrender ... yep, that's how we'd describe the perfect kiss.

Discussion: Do you remember your first kiss? What do you want your first kiss as husband and wife to be like? How important is kissing to you?

Prayer: Father. Paul told the faithful to "greet each other with a holy kiss" (Romans 16:16, among others). And a kiss after the wedding certainly is one of the most holy as two become one. We pray, Lord, even in the kiss, that you are glorified. In Jesus, Amen.