Bear One Another's Burdens

When Daddy and I were at the beach one afternoon on St. George Island recently, the wind picked up pretty briskly and nearly blew us away. We felt like we were being exfoliated by the sand. We knew it was time to go in. So we packed up our belongings, divvied up what we were carrying and got ready to go back to the beach house. As we started to leave, we noticed our friends, Philip and Joanna, struggling with their beach canopy in the breeze. So we stopped to give them a hand in taking it down and even helped to carry some of their items back to the beach house. The next afternoon was similar in gusty winds and our time was short lived after perpetual pelting by tiny grains of sand. So we again, helped each other collect our belongings and got ready to head in. This time we saw about 25 feet from us, a young couple as they, too, were getting ready to leave. But what we saw kinda shocked us. The husband was doing all the work. He was taking down the beach canopy. He was putting everything back in the wagon. His wife stood there watching their toddler. Your Daddy said, "I want to walk over to that couple and say, 'That is not how marriage works. You help each other.'" Now, we obviously don't know the whole story here. There may be a very good reason why she was just standing there. And maybe she felt keeping an eye on their toddler was helping, but from our standpoint she was being lazy. Even the toddler could have helped to gather items into the wagon. It was just a sad, selfish situation from our viewpoint.

Don't ever be so self-absorbed that you don't help each other. You are in this together, so it's important that you help one another and be a team. This goes for cooking, cleaning, handyman work, laundry, bed making, lawn mowing and carrying beach supplies. Don't expect the other person to carry the daily load alone. The Bible tells us to "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2. Be helpful. Anticipate needs and fill them. Do unexpected random acts of kindness for one another. Jump up and help each other out with whatever you are doing. You are in this together.

Discussion: Do you help each other out with different things? Do you know of couples where one person seems to do all the work?

Prayer: Help us, Lord, to please remember to see beyond ourselves to the needs of our loved one. Inspire us to be helpful and serve one another. In Jesus name. Amen.

Deactivating Days In The Past

Saturday when I was adding new songs to the Scott System at The River, as I opened the Selector software, this message popped up: "Deactivating days in the past." Basically it's cleaning the software to remove past scheduled broadcast days and getting ready to make room for the days ahead.

I love that statement. It's something we all need to do in our lives. Deactivate days in the past. Too often we hold onto baggage of the past, carrying it everywhere we go like Christian in John Bunyan's The Pilgrim's Progress. And as we travel, that burden gets heavier and heavier, to the point where it's sometimes hard to go on.

You will find throughout your relationship that you will have arguments. Some will be over silly, petty things and just slip into oblivion. Others will be heated to the point where you may say things you shouldn't have. And still others may be tiny things that become bigger problems as you let the issue fester. The point is to not let those things become an unforgiving burden to carry. In the words of the hugely popular song from the Disney musical Frozen, "Let It Go."

When your Daddy and I look back on the past, I will often ask "Would you have done anything different?" to which he responds, "Nope, because it's brought me to where I am today." And he's right. It's done with, it's in the past and nothing can change it. It's brought you to this place you are at today, so let it go. Deactivate the days in the past. Don't let anything steal your joy. That is so much easier to advise to another in this than to accept yourself when you are in the thick of something that hurts, but the wisdom is there for the taking nonetheless.

Resolve, forgive and move on. Don't bring up past mistakes each other has made. Don't bring up things each other may have said that hurt. Let it go. The Christian is called to forgive. Not just each other, but ourselves as well. God doesn't want us to carry that or relive it. 1 Peter 5:7 says to "Cast your burdens on Jesus, because He cares for you." (Ayla can probably start singing the Donut Man song here. :) Psalm 68:19 says: "Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens." That's where that baggage should be: on the shoulders of the Savior, the one who has the capability to carry it all for us, freeing us to move forward.

Leave the past right where it is.Start each day with the same window Selector pops up with each time it opens, deactivating the days of the past. Move forward today in strength, courage and grace.

Discussion: Are there former things in your relationship or life that have a tendency to resurface? What do you need to resolve or forgive from your past?

Prayer: Lord, the evil one has a tendency to remind us regularly of our failings and those who've hurt us. Help us to leave those hurts in the past and move forward with peace and love this day. In the name of the sweet Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.