Gently Correcting

The other day, Ayla shared a story about how Rob corrected her on something. She was frustrated, and Rob noticed her negative response and pulled her back to a place of clarity and understanding. He did it in a cute way, something Ayla really appreciated. In the sharing of this story she showed how they already are quite the team in the sense that Rob knew her well enough to see the direction she was going and could gently pull her back to where she needed to be.

That is something I greatly appreciate about Brad. He knows me so well that he knows exactly what to say or do to - in a sense - protect me from myself before going down the road to anger or frustration. And I likewise can do the same for him. But that blessing can also be a curse. Knowing what to say to kindly correct means you know what to say to bluntly or even cruelly correct or, sadly, aim to hurt. Since we have that intimate connection to one another, we have a responsibility to protect one another's hearts. Truth should always be said in love.

Both of you couples will correct each other a gazillion times in your marriages. Sometimes that correction will come at the height of frustration and thus will come out in the least kindly manner. Do your very best to remember this is the love of your life and to approach one another gently and lovingly with the intention to uplift, not tear down. If that means you need to walk away until you cool down, do it. If that means you need to pray first and ask the Father to prepare the heart of your loved one before you offer your suggestion, do it. If you are trying to help your betrothed be the best they can be, then be the best you can be. By the way, you will fail at this a bunch of times, cause the evil one loves to use those who love you most to hurt you most, so don't give him a foothold.

And if you are on the listening end of the correction, take it to heart. Ask yourself if there is truth in it and make changes. Scripture tells us in Proverbs 15:32b, "He who listens to reproof gains intelligence." Proverbs 9:8b-9 says, "Reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning." Notice that the wise and righteous man (or woman) accepts reproof, instruction and teaching.

It is an honor to love and be loved so much that you can be close confidants and accountability partners for one another. So don't take advantage of that. Be kind, be sweet, be gentle, be encouraging and most importantly be truthful in love. Together you can hold one another up as you grow closer and closer to Christ.

Discussion: Share a time when your betrothed corrected you in a way that really helped you? Do you have trouble with correction? How do you feel when you are corrected harshy? How about when you are corrected gently?

Prayer: Father we thank You for the many patient and subtle ways You correct us. If only we paid closer attention to those moments. Lord, we pray we are attentive to hear You correct us and heed the gentle correction of others. We also pray we likewise are loving and truthful in our correcting. In Jesus we pray, Amen.