Stealing the Show

When Ayla was around 6 or 7, Aunt Susie, who was then dating Uncle Todd, over heard Ayla speaking to Anton. She said, "When they get married, I will be the flower girl and you will be the ring bearer." Susie shared that story with us later. And just as Ayla predicted, it was so, also including cousin Lindsey as flower girl. Dressed in ivory with seed pearls dripping from their hair, the girls did a beautiful job in dropping petals along the aisle for their soon-to-be Aunt Susie and Anton was debonair in his tiny tux. This was the third time Ayla was a flower girl and second for Anton as a ring bearer. Ayla and Anton were both in Aunt Jodi's wedding and Ayla was also in our friend Zina's wedding.

When I was a little girl I served as a flower girl for the daughter of a couple who was the landlord of the apartment my parents lived in when I was a baby. Her maiden name was Nancy Rosco. Both Aunt Jodi and I were the flower girls, and our mother made our dresses. They were light blue velvet on the bottom. We had our hair put up all curly. I remember feeling like a princess that day. Like Ayla and Lindsey our only job was to drop rose petals down the aisle.

Flower girls have been doing this for thousands o
f years. Carrying herbs, wreaths, grain or garlic, these young girls would walk before the bride to bring prosperity, fertility and luck to the couple while warding away evil spirits. Nowadays the tiny girls, dressed either like a mini bride or mini bridesmaid, will drop petals along the path or aisle for the bride to walk on as a symbol of the lost of purity. These days flower girls are not necessarily dropping petals, but rather blowing bubbles or tossing confetti (does that mean you call them "bubble girls" or "confetti girls" then? Hmmm.) Lately there has been a new trend with the flower girl holding a sign that says, "Here comes the bride." When looking through a bridal magazine last fall, I saw that in one wedding the grandmothers of the bride were the flower girls. It was precious to see these women tossing petals before their granddaughter.

As for the ring bearer, that history, too, goes back hundreds or even thousands of years as jewels were presented before kings and queens on cushions. Over the years, couples got wise when rings ended up disappearing at the hands of their tiny ring bearers, and thus the cushions typically have fake rings tied to them. Of course, even the best man has been known to lose the rings.

Oftentimes the flower girls and ring bearer will steal the show based on how they do in their petal dropping efforts. Will they be afraid and not walk down the aisle? Will they actually drop the petals? Typically you hear a collective, "awwww" when the little ones process. As Anton started down the aisle at age 2 at Aunt Jodi's wedding, he stopped as soon as he heard the music and started to spin and dance. Everyone thought he was so cute, but he wasn't going anywhere. I walked up behind him as maid of honor and took his hand. He looked up at me with almost a "Hi, Mommy," and walked down the aisle with me. It is a precious memory for me of that day.

There is no hard and fast rule for selecting flower girls and ring bearers - or any rule that you have to have them at all. Typically flower girls and ring bearers are 3-8 years old. Any older and they can be junior bridesmaids or groomsmen. Any younger and you take the risk they won't do what they're supposed to do. A flower girl or ring bearer can be family members or children of dear friends. And while they can be super cute in a wedding party, remember they are little children and may not be 100 percent on board when it comes to their duties. They also tend to tucker out - especially the younger they are - when it comes to long ceremonies or celebrations. I have a picture of both Ayla and Anton sound asleep at Aunt Jodi's reception.

So necessary, no. Precious, yes. Whatever works for the couple!

Discussion: What are your thoughts about flower girls and ring bearers? Have you ever served as either? What was your experience like?

Prayer: Lord God, we thank You for little ones and their service in a wedding ceremony. We pray for courage for them and patience in their duties. We thank You that all of us are children in your eyes! In Christ our Lord, Amen.