"Marriage Ruins Everything."

The other day Kayla commented that a number of people have said to her and Anton, "Why are you getting married? Why don't you just live together? Marriage ruins everything." It broke my heart to hear that several folks have said that to them. You have to wonder, first, what kind of experiences they've had with marriage that they believe it ruins everything, and second, why they would think living together would be any better?

Brad and Anton are fans of a show called The Bachelorette. Personally, I can't stomach it because watching one woman kissing 25 different men just seems messed up. And for a few seasons now, the women have moved beyond kissing to "hooking up" (cultural slang for having sex) with several of the men. To quote the contestant this year, "I have to explore these relationships my own way." Personally, we don't think it was ever God's intention for people to explore relationships that way. He made it pretty clear that was to be saved for the marriage itself. Romans 6:16 says, "Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?" Culture has twisted social norms to where couples actually think you need to "try that out," that living together instead of marriage is okay and sadly that "marriage ruins everything."

Well, do this: ask the woman whose husband is deployed for military service if marriage ruins everything. Ask the couple who has been married for over 50 years if marriage ruins everything. Asking the husband or wife who has just lost their beloved spouse to some accident or disease if marriage ruins everything. Ask Daddy and I if marriage ruins everything. Marriage doesn't. Some people might, but the institution of marriage as designed by our Father certainly does not.

Don't be disheartened when you hear people make comments like that. Be empathetic to them, as their life circumstances may have certainly influenced their views on marriage. But know that what God has created is beautiful and leads to an abundant life in Him. As long as we are obedient to Him, we will certainly see the blessing in it. Romans 6:22 says, "But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life." We pray that when you are married you will be the sweet voice of encouragement to engaged couples to say to them, "Congratulations! How blessed you will be! Just remember to Whom you belong."

Discussion: What is the worst marriage comments you have heard? What are your personal thoughts about what marriage is? What can you point to as a good example of marriage?

Prayer: Our Lord God, we thank you for creating this beautiful union called marriage. And we pray our children delight in it. We pray they will be obedient to your Word. And we pray they will be a light in the darkness showing how what you have made is so blessed and beautiful. in Jesus we pray, Amen.