Slippery Slope

I remember when my friend told me she lied to her husband. "Well, he hates when I go shopping - he gets angry - so I just told him I had to work late." Okay, red flags went up all over the place with that one. Rather than deal with his anger, she decided it was better to lie to him. The problem is he learned about it. I remember hearing from another friend that he said, "How do I trust her when she lies to me?"

There are so many things wrong with the above situation it's hard to know where to begin. First off, why was he angry when she shopped? Was she breaking the family budget? Was she spending too much time away from him? That was the issue that needed addressed. Secondly, lying, really? When you think that lying to your husband is the best solution, you've got a much bigger problem. To quote your Daddy, "That is a slippery slope." Because as we know one lie leads to another. And if you are caught in that lie, the last bit of the above story comes true, which is the third point: how do you trust each other?

Your Daddy used to ask me every time I shopped, "How much did you spend?" I would get angry with the question because it seemed he didn't trust me to shop frugally, which I worked very hard to do. It seemed no matter what the amount was, it was too much. So I started telling him a rounded-up number. $200 when it would be significantly less. So when I got an angry "You spent $200!?" from him, I would do the old, "No, of course not, it was $50." Now suddenly $50 didn't sound so bad. Except he caught on pretty quickly to that and was all, "Even $50 is too much!" As you can see we had a bigger issue - the budget. Covering that with anger and exaggerations was no solution.

Here's the bottom line: Do. Not. Lie. There is no advantage to this. You may think you're staving off the beast, but honestly, you're just feeding him and making him larger. Plus, don't forget this is a commandment. "Thou shalt not lie." (Exodus 20:16, Leviticus 19:11). That includes the little white ones, lies of omission and exaggerations. You will not be benefiting your marriage in any way by lying. If you catch yourself doing this, back up immediately, ask yourself why you feel you need to lie and address that bigger problem. Nip this issue in the bud before it gets far uglier. Lying is never the answer.

Discussion: What are some ways to handle a problem rather than lie to one another? Tell of an experience when one lie led to another or when you were caught in the lie.

Prayer: Father, you has us to speak the truth to one another. We pray, Father, for patience in discussing important issues and remembering how much we value one another that we do not lie to each other. Give us the wisdom in advance to stop ourselves before we go in that direction. In Jesus name, Amen.