Holiday Celebrations

Growing up, our family did holidays big. Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween ... we had fun. The relatives got together and we would giggle with our cousins till the dreaded "Kids it's time to go," would be shouted by the parents. The memories I have of those celebrations are wonderful. Birthday cakes decorated by my mother. Bountiful feasts for the holidays. Decorations everywhere. They were happy times. When I met Brad, his family celebrated holidays a little differently. Since his immediate family lived away from grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, the celebrations weren't nearly as big, unless they made the trip to Wisconsin to be with them.

Consequently when Brad and I married, we were joining two very different ways of celebrating together. Like Brad's family, we lived far from our extended families, so unless we traveled to Iowa or Pennsylvania (or they traveled here), our holidays became personal affairs, oftentimes including church families in celebrations. We celebrated many Thanksgivings and Easters at parties described as "for families without families." Our Christmas Caroling Campfire has included anyone and everyone (neighbors, church friends, co-workers, co-volunteers) who wanted to celebrate the newborn Christ. We never took our costumed kids to trick-or-treat at their grandparents on Halloween because they didn't live near by. July 4th was always with friends usually swimming in someone's pool then off to the fireworks. Brad and I never forgot to celebrate our anniversary and Valentine's Day in a special and romantic way. And birthdays are a big deal ... all about the person celebrating. With our kids we had birthday parties every single year as they were growing up (lake parties, quinceanera, sweet sixteen, scavenger hunts, water slides, pinatas, princess parties, sports themes). I wanted our family celebrations to be as big and wonderful as I remembered mine as a child. And I think, with our church families and friends, we accomplished that.

I am a big proponent of making memories ... every day if possible (Brad says I need it on a T-shirt: "Make A Memory"). So getting together with family and friends to celebrate is a big part of that. Each holiday only comes around once each year, so I believe in really enjoying each one. Brad wasn't as crazy about big celebrations except on Thanksgiving (let's face it - feast and football, what's not to love?), but, bless him, he not only put up with my big shebangs, but even planned a few (15th Anniversary Surprise Wedding Vow Renewal, anyone? Or 49th birthday Beach Surprise with the kids?).

You couples are coming from different background and traditions with how you celebrate. You may have different foods you eat, ways you open gifts, ways of decorating, specific things you participate in, special days of doing things and meshing those together can sometimes be tricky. But they can be unique to you and so much fun. We encourage you to do two things:

1. Remember it is about you both and your family first. What works for you as a couple and for your future children is what you need to focus on.
2. Respect one another's memories. Find ways to combine things you both love about your family memories. For example, Daddy's family opened Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve. My family did Christmas morning. The compromise ... Christmas Eve our children opened one gift (typically Christmas jammies) and the rest on Christmas morn.

Have fun on the holidays you have ahead. Celebrate with joy. Truly understand the meaning behind the faith holidays in celebrating. You will have days ahead filled with jobs, challenges, responsibilities and the like, so making sure to find ways to observe yearly festivities will give you things to look forward to and memories to last your lifetime.

Discussion: Share how your family celebrated each holiday and birthdays? What are similar about your celebrations? What are different? What would you like to incorporate from each way of celebrating?

Prayer: Father, we thank You that we have so many opportunities to celebrate! And we're especially thankful for the holidays that celebrate You! Lord we pray we can create new ways of celebrating with one another while keeping many of our traditions from our individual families. In Jesus we pray, Amen.

What If There Was No Tomorrow?

Today I woke up and it was Feb. 3. That is good news. It means it's a new day, the first day of the rest of my life. Every single day is that way. Last night Daddy and I watched Groundhog Day with Bill Murray. If you know the movie, then you know his character, Phil, lives the same day over and over again until he learns selflessness, love, generosity and picks up a few talents along the way (ice sculpture, classical piano, life saving). I remember the first time I saw that movie thinking, "I will never watch this movie ever again." For crying out loud, I felt like I lived the day over and over again with him, and really didn't think I'd want to again.

It got your Daddy and I talking. I asked him if there was a day he would want to live over again. He said his birthday during the time we lived in Georgia, so he could make love to me on the back walled-in patio while you kids were at school then play with you when you came home for the rest of the day. "That was always a good day," he said. For me it was the day we spent in Door County with Grandpa Lauritzen, GranDonna, Megan and Johnny. It was a perfect day. The weather was ideal, we made precious memories and saw some amazing places. There are some days I can still smell something in the air and will say, "It's a Door County day," because it has that feel. Notice that Daddy and I picked days where everything was sweet.

Now you should know your Daddy is not one to every want to relive a day. He is a firm believer that the day is over and it's time to move on to the next day. It's a face-forward and realistic viewpoint. He believes in living for right now. And of me, he would tell you my life motto is "make a memory," so you can see that squishing the two of us together is a pretty good combo.

So we can't relive yesterday or any other day, but we can make this day the best one ever. And we shouldn't have to relive the day to find reasons to be selfless, loving, generous and learn some new talents. Do it TODAY!

I will tell you something else about today that I bet if I asked your Daddy if he would want to relive it, that he would actually say he would. This day is your Great Grandma Veronica Zimanek's birthday. She would have been 99 today. Every Feb. 3 when we lived in Wisconsin, I would make Great Grandma a birthday cake and Daddy or I would drive it over to her home to celebrate with her (one time when I went back from Georgia to Wisconsin for my goddaughter, Julia's baptism in early February, I even made her a cake and took it then). I think if your Daddy could return to that farm home in Wisconsin on this day, cake in hand, to visit with her and his grandfather, he would do it in a heartbeat. This is why we delight in the moment ... because the moments go by. Praising Jesus for the memories.

So our advice ... take every opportunity to delight in the day, do great things, visit with sweet souls, take an adventure, be extra kind to one another, learn something new and make the world a better place in that one day ... so you never have any regrets about wanting a do over. As the character Phil says in the movie Groundhog Day, "Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today." And God said in Proverbs 27:21,"Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring." Enjoy today. And Happy Birthday, Grandma Z. We love you and wish we could play a little pinochle with you. Give Grandpa, Uncle Louie, Aunt Sophie and Grandpa a hug for us. We miss you.

Discussion: If you could live any day over again, which would it be? What is something you can do today to make a memory or make someone else's day better. What can you do for each other today?

Prayer: Thank you, Father God, that we only have to live each day once. And I pray we take advantage of making it a day to remember. Help us to remember to live it to your glory. In Jesus name, Amen.