Token of Thanks and Appreciation

They hold bachelor and bachelorette parties for you and showers. They buy matching gowns and tuxes which they will most likely never wear again. They sometimes travel long distances to be witnesses. They buy you a gift. They help you decorate and ready yourself for the ceremony. These are the bridesmaids and groomsmen. So for all they do for you, what do you do for them?

Typically brides and grooms will give gifts to their bridal party. More often than not they will be matching gifts, like jewelry for the bridesmaids and beer steins and pocket knives for groomsmen. Some couples give each member of the bridal party a frame to put in a picture of them together from the wedding. For bridesmaids we've seen perfume, robes, slippers, candles, compacts, monogrammed bags, cups, cosmetic bags, nail polish and shoes. For groomsmen we've seen watches, money clips, belt buckles, ties, whiskey, flashlights, bottle openers, cigars, sweatshirts, suspenders, bobble head dolls, mugs and cufflinks. Anything goes, even gift cards.

Brad and I gave all the bridesmaids matching sapphire jewelry but then at our rehearsal dinner had individual gifts for each person in the bridal party representing our relationship to them. My sister got a Precious Moments statue (which she collected) of a maid of honor. My junior bridesmaid, Lizzy, got a doll (which she says her daughter plays with to this day). My brother, a groomsman, got a Walter Payton Bears jersey. My penpal got a plaque about how letters give wings to the heart. One of Daddy's friends got an 8x10 photo of himself on the California coast shot on a trip he went on with him. Each gift was unique and special from us to them. We wanted each person to know how much they meant to us and recognized them individually.

I know Ayla and Rob have both made progress on their bridal party gifts (and they are really nice). To be surrounded by your besties at this most important day of your life together is a pretty wonderful memory to have. So to leave them with a token of appreciation and an extra memory is so important. Philippians 1:3 says, "I thank my God every time I remember you." This is a precious way to do so.

Discussion: What have you thought about bridal party gifts? Have you ever received a bridal party gift? What do these gifts mean to the receiver?

Prayer: Lord God, thank you for the precious friends and family who will participating in these weddings. We thank you every time we remember their value to us. We ask for blessings on them all and protection as wedding dates approach. And pray we find them just the right thank you gift. In Christ, Amen.

Like A Sunset

It started with a bouquet. I think that may have been the first picture you sent me after your engagement. When I asked what your wedding colors would be, you texted me a bouquet picture you have saved for years. Oranges, pinks, yellows and sea blues danced in this bouquet. So we had a starting point. You wanted all the colors as part of the wedding. And knowing how you've always loved bright colors, this did not surprise me. Then came the question: What will the bridesmaids wear? I should have known one color wouldn't do. So the debate went on between seablues and coral pinks for the bridesmaids. The solution: "Mommy, I want them to look like a sunset." So, off Anton and I went to David's Bridal to combine colors and see what six colors blended into a beautiful sunset. After several mixes and matches with colors that had names like ballet, persimmon, begonia and cherry, we settled on watermelon, punch, guava, coral reef, tangerine and sunbeam. A beautiful sunset of
chiffon, flowing dresses. We had our colors. Then the question: which girl would wear which color? And which dress design would be chosen? I know you left the choice up to the girls. You asked the girls to try on the three styles you selected to see what they liked the best and asked them what color they wanted to wear. Now they haven't yet tried on the dress styles, but they all have selected the color they liked best ... and the amazing thing ... they each picked a different color! What are the chances! So Lindsey in watermelon, Shay in punch, Emily in guava, Mary in coral reef, Rebecca in tangerine and Cristina in sunbeam. Unbelievable. Of course, now we have to see what the consensus will be on design.

I looked up wedding colors to see what the significance was. The Perfect Palette said couples who choose aqua blue want a wedding near a body of water and those who select coral have a tropical, beachy feel. Check, check on both of those counts. You have both. Color Psychology says folks who pick orange are fun-loving, uplifting, creative and social; yellow is illuminating, warm and cheerful; seablue shows ambition and friendliness and coral expresses love. Again,check, check, check, check. There is no way one color could possibly express you both, so this combination is perfect.

This could be one of the most beautiful weddings I will ever go to from a color standpoint. Bright, lively, fun, inviting and joyful are the thoughts and feelings they bring to mind. And what better words to describe the union of two people who love the Lord, love each other, love the folks they are asking to be in the wedding and attend and want to celebrate big. We sure are going to have fun.

Soooo, what are the boys wearing?

Discussion: What of the color meanings above, do you think best describe you both? How will you use those colors in the wedding and reception?

Prayer: Creator God, you have painted the sky in breathtaking ways over and over again when the sun rises and sets. How appropriate that this occasion should have the sun setting on this couple's singleness and rising on their new life together. May you be glorified in it all. In Jesus, Amen.

Wedding Witnesses

Last week when your bestfriend Cristina visited you from California, you presented her with a ring pop and asked "Will you be my maid-of-honor." It was a sweet, unique and personal way to ask your "media naranja" (for the non-Spanish-speaking folk reading this: "the other half of your orange") to step forward in this special position in your wedding. She said yes as I expected even commenting that her future fiance would have to work hard to top that proposal. And I so enjoyed seeing the cards you made for the young ladies you have selected to be your bridesmaids. While each girl received a card with the same background on the front, you made each card unique to each girl, from the title on front, to the note inside, to the salutation at the end. Inside jokes abounded as you preciously asked each one to serve. You wanted each young lady to have her own personal invite, taking you much time as you created each one.

Choosing bridesmaids or groomsmen is mostly a selection of close friends these days. The bridesmaids plan showers and bachelorette parties, help the bride with decisions prior to the wedding and assist her during the wedding. The groomsmen are supposed to similarly assist the groom.

But years and years ago, being a bridesmaid or groomsman was a scary prospect. Roman law required 10 witnesses to a wedding, five looking like the bride and five like the groom. This was done for two reasons: One was so that evil spirits would be confused as to which was the bride and groom to prevent cursing them; Another was so that kidnappers wanting to hold brides for ransom for their dowries wouldn't know which woman was the actual bride. The groomsmen were to help the groom fend off attackers and protect the bride. Tough job! Cursed or kidnapped?! Brave young women said yes to the bridesmaid request centuries ago. It's far safer now. The toughest part these days is coming up with the funds for the dress, tux or shoes!

When you and I were talking about who would be in your wedding party, I said, "Select friends who value that this is a bond before God and will hold you accountable in your marriage." Ephesians 4:1-6 says "I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all." That witness before God to us is the most important part of their jobs. I think you have certainly done well in selecting folks to do that for you. And I believe as you have served in several weddings, you have done the same. How fun it is to face the love of your life and say your vows as your dearest friends stand with you to back you up and rejoice with you. How blessed you both are to have such wonderful friends to count on!

Now the next tough part ... what will they wear?

Discussion: Tell each other why each person was selected to be part of the bridal party. How have these individuals inspired your spiritual journeys?

Prayer: We thank you, Father, for the sweet souls you have brought across the paths of Rob and Ayla, who have uplifted them in this journey of life. And we thank you in advance for those who will serve on the wedding party. We ask for blessings for all of them as each will have quite a journey to make next fall to get to the wedding. We love you so much. In Jesus, Amen.