He's Her Robster

In one of the episodes of the television series Friends, Phoebe says this when talking about Ross and Rachel: "It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You can actually see old lobster couples walking around their tank, you know, holding claws." Of course, the audience laughs. Ayla loves lobsters. She has a stuffed one we bought her and lobsters on clothes, lobster jewelry. She's just had a thing for them. So it was fitting when we joked, with Ayla's love of Friends, that Rob was her "Robster." Here's the thing ... after a bit of research the sad truth is lobsters don't mate for life. Nor do they hold claws. They mate for maybe a week. So all kidding aside, we sure hope Rob isn't Ayla's lobster.

Believe it or not, there are animal species that mate for life. Swans, angelfish, wolves (yeah, you thought that whole imprint thing in the movie New Moon was fictional), termites (creepy, yes), turtle doves (well, of course, they would), bald eagles, otters, seahorses (yep, Kayla, they do), beavers, penguins (something about that collection, Anton, hee hee), black vultures and red foxes among others. So apparently mating for life isn't just a human thing.

However, sometimes it's not even a human thing. Some organizations interpret statistics from the National Center for Health Statistics as showing that 40 to 50 percent of marriages in the United Stated end in divorce. This is based on the ratio of marriages to divorces in a year. But reading the statistic that way is misleading. If 2 million people get married in a year and 1 million divorce that same year, it doesn't mean half of all marriages end in divorce. It doesn't account for the nearly 60 million married people in the US according to 2014 statistics. According to Truthorfiction.com/divorce/, that statistic can be anywhere from 11-34 percent of marriages depending no how to look at it. So it's not nearly as dire as it appears.

Here's the thing, just because you say "I do," doesn't mean it will last forever. Just because you love each other with your whole hearts right now, doesn't mean you'll be like the bald eagles, otters and beavers of the world. For them it is instinct. For humans, it's a choice. We believe when you make the choice to marry, you are vowing to stay together for this earthly lifetime. It's based on our faith. Christ said in Mark 10:9, "Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." But you have to work at it. It's not something that will just happen. You need to proactively love and stay faithful to the one with whom God unites you. So don't rest in your marriage. Strive every day to make it beautiful and lasting. So you can be each other's black vulture or termite (doesn't sound even remotely romantic, does it?). Just be one another's beloved as described in Song of Solomon 6:3 "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine."

Discussion: What do you think about mating for life? What do you think it takes to stay married for life?

Prayer: Father God, we pray when those vows are said we mean them. That we devote the rest of our lives to love, honor and cherish our beloved. Help us to remember to work at our marriages for You and to Your glory. In Jesus, Amen."

Bless, Uphold, Care

I once read about a couple who's wedding cards were all stolen at a reception. Just sitting out on the table, someone can collected them all and walked out the door with hundreds of dollars in gift cards and cash. This is why many couples will have some kinds of collection location for wedding cards that is secured so that guests won't be tempted and gifts are safe. I have seen some people use mail boxes, bird cages, a wrapped gift box ... even a fake wedding cake.

For our wedding, my mother made a wishing well. She covered it in white satin and lace. It was bulky and huge, so pretty difficult for anyone to try to make off with it. My sister used the same wishing well for her wedding. It was just so cute. Gaga said it's a little worse for wear over the last 20+ years and thought it was too bulky to bring to Florida for Ayla's wedding, so she created something new for Ayla.

What started off as a wooden bread box, has turned into a seaside treasure chest, covered in nautical bits like anchors and lighthouses and sea shells. She worked so hard it to make it special for her one and only granddaughter. A true labor of love. Gaga's co-workers loved it so much, they told Gaga she should make more and sell them. "Oh no," she said, "That is special for my granddaughter."

I think one of the things that makes weddings so much fun is participation of family and friends to make this day so special. Kayla has shared several things that various family members or friends are doing to play a part in her and Anton's wedding. Each one is tailored to their gifts and a fun way for each to contribute. Several of my friends have been precious to volunteer to host a bridal shower for Ayla. It is a sweet and generous thing for them to do for my daughter, and I praise Jesus for them all. How grateful we can be for people willing to do so much.

Last week we shared a blog about the order of the Christian marriage worship service, and we mentioned the part where the congregation is asked to "bless, uphold and care" for the couple. Looks like folks are already stepping forward to do that, and we haven't gotten to the wedding yet. Glory to Him!

Discussion: Share about what different people have already volunteered to do for your wedding? What do each of these people mean to you?

Prayer: Father we thank you for folks willing to help out with various aspects of the wedding and pre-wedding festivities. Please bless them, Father, as they have been a blessing. In Jesus, Amen.