XOXOXOXOXO

I could see it in his eyes. The stress of the day creeping in on him nearly first thing in the morning. He sighed. He usually sighs a lot anyways, but this day he sighed a little deeper. You could hear the exhaustion. You could see the crease in his forehead deepening. His eyes were already piercing. And it was 8 a.m. So I stopped what I was doing and went over to hug him. We melted together and I could feel the anxiety leaving. I held tight and he held tight. I knew that hug wouldn't miraculously fix all that was preoccupying his mind and lessening his sleep, but knew it would certainly make him feel a little better.

The other day after your Daddy asked me to marry him again in a text, he sent a separate one that looked like this "xxxxxxxooooooo." In the world of typing slang, we all know those are kisses and hugs. I really needed those kisses and hugs and sent a good batch right back to him.

And when we were walking Sunday afternoon, both working up a good sweat after a couple miles, I interlocked my fingers with his so we could hold hands.

Hugging, kisses, holding hands are all sweet ways of connecting with your beloved on a regular basis. Scientifically they release chemical in the brain called oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin which gives you a feel-good sense of contentment. In this high stress world of go-go-go, any moments of contentment are cherished and necessary. We need hugs. We need to hold hands. We need kisses. Scientifically or not, it just makes us feel better. And the Bible even tells us how to hug. Song of Solomon 2:6 says, "His left hand was under my head and that his right hand embraced me!"

Don't every forget to hug each other, snuggle, kiss and hold hands. It probably sounds ridiculous to suggest this to you in your young love, but the world will creep in to thwart any efforts you make to show affection in uplifting one another. So make a conscious effort to. You will both need it. And you'll love it, too.

Discussion: How do you feel when you hug your beloved? Do you like to hold hands? What are the best kind of kisses?

Prayer: We thank you, Father, that you embrace us with your loving arms and keep us close. We thank you for how you care for and protect us, comfort us and uplift us. May we do likewise to our beloved in Jesus name, Amen.

Receiving Guests

Right after our wedding, we had a receiving line. This is where the newlywed couple stands at the back of the church with their parents and sometimes members of the bridal party and family members to greet everyone who attends. It gives the couple a chance to have a few minutes with everyone at the wedding and thank them for attending. It also gives guests time to congratulate you face-to-face, particularly if there is a large guest list.

But it takes time. With over 200 people at our wedding, we spoke with and hugged every guest and it took more than 30 minutes. While necessary to visit with everyone, it was long and drawn out, particularly for those standing in line waiting.I remember at my cousin's wedding a year later, instead of a receiving line, she and her new husband went table-to-table at the reception to say hello to every one. It was more efficient in that everyone got to the reception quicker and was seated to eat while the couple made their rounds.

I saw a rerun for a 2010 episode of the television series Four Weddings which showed a bride and groom playing usher at their own wedding and hugging guests as they left the pews at the wedding. Everyone had to leave anyways, so it was nice that the Mr. and Mrs. took this time to greet and welcome their guests.

Should you choose not to have a receiving line, understand that it may be more difficult to try to get around to visiting with everyone. If you want to make sure you've seen everyone, this is the way to go, plus it gives members of the bridal party and parents a chance to meet every guest and gives the bride and groom the opportunity to introduce individual friends and extended family or folks who have traveled long distances to their new spouse.

The awkward part about the receiving line is for guests who are shy and may not want to shake hands with or introduce themselves to the entire bridal party. You can eliminate this by keeping the receiving line to just the two of you. This will also speed up the line. Also, try to keep conversations brief. If there is someone you want to spend more time talking with, tell them you'll catch up with them more at the reception.

The Bible tells us in several locations to "greet each other with a holy kiss" (Romans 16:16, 1 Corinthians 16:20, 2 Corinthians 13:12, 1 Thessalonians 5:26) - which is probably a kiss on the cheek - but regardless greeting is a big part of welcoming and respectful to those coming to celebrate with you. I will say, there is one memory I have of my receiving line which I will never forget. My choir director from our church and my junior high school came to our wedding. She was undergoing chemo for brain cancer and had lost most of her hair. I will never forget the chance I had to put my hand on her face and hold her close. How I loved this woman. It was the last time I ever saw her. She passed away soon after (and I'm sure is leading the heavenly choirs in Paradise today.) For those precious moments, the receiving line is priceless.

So to have a receiving or table visit? Or eliminate all together. This is entirely up to you and what you are comfortable with. So do what works for you.

Discussion: How do you plan on receiving and spending time with each of your guests? Do you think it's important to spend that time with them? If you have a receiving line, who will you include to greet guests?

Prayer: Father, we know how important it is to be hospitable to our friends and to strangers as well. We pray we find a way to greet all our guests in love and efficiently for their comfort and our own. In Christ we pray, Amen.

One And Only

A hug the night before our wedding.

Right before Jadoosh left to head back to Iowa he asked me this, "Jill, am I your favorite father-in-law?" To which I responded as I always do, "Of course you are, you're my only father-in-law." We giggle. But this time I added one more bit, "You'll be the only father-in-law I will ever have." To use a hunting metaphor with reference to Brad, "I've bagged my limit." To use a fishing metaphor, "I'm not throwing this catch back."

Daddy is my one-and-only. My beloved. He was my true love when I was 18 and he's my true love 32 years later. Neither of us have any desire to trade in for a newer model. The love we had all those years ago has intensified. It is greater, deeper, richer and much more powerful. Is it easy? Nope (or we wouldn't be writing this blog). It's work. We are constantly looking for ways to be better for each other. But it's worth it. You know when I notice most how neatly and spiritually we fit? When we hug. It's like the world melts away and we melt into each other. It's peace and comfort squished together. I sigh just thinking about those hugs.

God has given you your one-and-only. And this is something you must remember throughout your marriage. You need to cherish and work at it. It is our prayer that we will be the only mother-in-law and father-in-law Rob and Kayla ever have ... and your favorite.

Discussion: What do you think it takes for love to be greater, deeper, richer and more powerful? What feelings do you have when you hug?

Prayer: Lord, we thank you for finding us our one-and-only. Give us the determination to be faithful, encouraging and loving to one another throughout our lifetime together. We love you and thank you for your example in Jesus. In His name we pray, Amen.