Status Flow

When Daddy gets up first thing in the morning, he slaps some water on his face then heads straight to the Keurig coffee maker. Gets the java ready, then shuffles down the driveway to pick up the newspaper. After picking up his coffee, he's slumped into his cushy chair, feet propped up on the ottoman while he reads the paper, then checks his work emails. Then a shave and shower. It's the same thing every single day. I know the man has to have his coffee and paper to start the day. Mornings aren't my favorite part of the day, but my routine isn't quite as ridged. I make the bed, open the blinds, do my devotional, get breakfast, put on the make up, put in the contacts ... but not necessarily in that order. You can approach me and I won't bite your head off. I never need coffee to start my day (seriously ... can you see adding caffeine to this body?). Daddy and I have been married nearly 28 years, so we pretty well know how the morning goes. The point is to be understanding of how your future spouse is in the mornings ... or the evenings for that matter.

For Tone he's up at the alarm and makes his way to the couch to check his phone. Then it's a shave, shower, maybe a coffee, maybe breakfast, maybe make a lunch. I know Kayla has to have her morning coffee as does Ayla.

It's interesting when looking at all the different humans and their behaviors to note that God created us in His image. Does God need coffee to start His day? Does He go to computer central to get updates on the 7 billion people of the world? Does He head to the throne room to listen to the zillions of prayers beseeching Him. Does He change from the pajama robe to a more sparkly royal robe? Now, of course, these are all said tongue in cheek. God never sleeps, so he really doesn't need anything to get His day going. And He's omniscient, so there's no hard drive to catalog the world population's issues. But we know He created us uniquely, with all are quirks and goofiness and talents. Scripture tells us in Psalm 139:14, we are "fearfully and wonderfully made." And what are we made for? To give God glory in all we do. Some of us just take a little longer to do that in the morning.

We hope you will be accommodating towards one another when getting used to each other's morning and/or evening routine. Know that although you love each other dearly, you are unique and each may require your own space and regimen. That is just being understanding and supportive of each other. At the same time, know that you will be getting to know each other more fully when you're married, so be gracious in responding to your spouse when they may not have as yet figured out your habits. You'll figure it out ... and it will work synchronously like a treble and base clef, so you can make beautiful music together. (Yeah, that was cheeky, but true!)

Discussion: What are things you have to do in the morning to start your day? What are things you have to do to end your day?

Find A Balance

Right after Daddy and I married, I moved into what was his apartment in Murfreesboro, TN, which was now to become "ours." He had sweetly prepared this new home for us, even getting a few pieces of furniture. Having just graduated from college and living in the dorms all four years, neither of us had any furniture, kitchen supplies, beds or tools. So everything was new. So when I first walked in the door, what should greet me but three giant inflatable sports balls hanging from the ceiling. Not even kidding. A giant football, baseball and basketball. Pennants, baseball helmets and sports posters on the walls. Oh, and a Moosehead beer light by the bed. So the first thing I do when I move in ... take it down. This was our apartment living room after all, not our college dorm room. Thus the take over began.

Just like it's often comically portrayed on some television series of women taking over the home, getting rid of some of the husband's scarier items and doing the interior decorating, we were following that pattern. Somethings just had to go. First off, he was making room for a new wife. Secondly, that new wife was putting together her first home and thirdly, we had different ideas of what that home would look like, from the arrangement of furniture to what went the walls. And honestly, those discussions came up every move we have made in our marriage. It got to a point where your Daddy felt like he got the garage walls for his things while everything else in the house was mine or my idea (more often than not for good reason). However, he was right in that he needed his space, too.

Thus someone coined the phrase "man cave." The place where he could take over in the decorating, arrange the furniture the way he wanted and unwind after work or on weekends. Your Daddy wanted me to make sure I told you to be sure to allow Rob his place and space. Likewise, to be conscious that to a woman, her home (and her husband's appearance for that matter) are an extension of her. Thus, if it doesn't look they way she wants to come across, it can weigh pretty heavy on the way she thinks people view her.

So, find a balance. If you are both good at decorating and designing, compromise should be easy. If there is something your new spouse will have that one or the other of you just do not find appealing, explain why and see if there is a place for the item.

In our case, I do not believe the Moosehead light ever saw the light of day again. And the inflatables ... well let's just say, they make great beach balls.

Discussion: Who will be the decorator in your new home? Will there be a space for each of you? Is there anything either one of you have they will not work in your home together?

Prayer: Father, we thank you that we are two different personalities with different likes joining together. Give us grace to see what our loved one sees in their personal things. Helps us to created a beautiful home together. In Jesus, Amen.