Gave Himself Up For Her

Yesterday's post focused on wives, so today we're focusing on husbands. And more importantly, a God fearing one.

For a few months now, sitting on one of Daddy's dresser is an unsigned sheet of paper with the title at the top "The Resolution." It's a copy of the resolution Daddy signed after reading the book The Resolution for Men. I love this resolution, because it's what a husband should be. If husbands are the head of the household then they have a huge responsibility to our Father and to their families. It's printed at the back of the book. It speaks of being the spiritual leader in the home, loving and protecting his wife and children, being faithful to his wife, training his children in love and have mercy, forgiving, working diligently, learning from mistakes and honoring God. Men who sign this resolution, promise to follow it for the rest of their lives. When Daddy signed this form, he stood before our church with me by his side, making this promise to me, his children and to God. It was a powerful and meaningful moment. The Resolution is framed and hangs in our bedroom as a constant reminder.

This is what we want for our future son-in-law and for our son. We want you to read and complete that book, sign the form before your beloved, and adhere to it for the rest of your life. We want you to do that on behalf of our daughter and future daughter-in-law that we love so much. We feel those ladies deserve this, because it's required of their husbands according to the Word. Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." If you are the man Christ calls you to be, it will be so much easier for your wife to be the woman Christ has called her to be.

Ayla commented after attending the Art of Marriage conference recently how depressing and discouraging it was to hear from couples who's marriages had been so destructive. She questioned how they could let them get that way. But never forget it's Satan's target to destroy the family in any possible way. If a marriage is representative of Christ's relationship to the church, then to destroy it is prime real estate for the evil one. So be cautious, guarded and fully committed to God. Hold your marriage to a high standard. Signing the Resolution, is a good place to start.

Discussion: Have you finished reading The Resolution For Men? Can you confidently sign the resolution? What are other ways to protect your marriage and family?

Prayer: Lord, our marriages are yours, and oftentimes we forget that. We pray, Lord, that these couples as newlyweds will be committed to you. That the men will be committed to their wives and children. Let their marriages be to your glory. In Jesus our King, Amen.

Father, Hero, Mentor, Friend

Recently I posted a video on Facebook by the Skit Guys titled "Fatherhood: What's It Like Being A Dad?" It shares one man's encounters with his children through various facets of life, precious moments, heartbreak and teachable times. I posted it for my sweet hubby since he is such an amazing dad. Of course, Brad typically doesn't like to watch videos, so I had to call it up and hand it to him on my phone to watch it. I knew he would be touched by it and sure enough, tears were flowing when it came to an end. It's because the moments highlighted in this video are relatable to every dad. 

Today is Father's Day, and it's my hope that one day both Rob and Anton will get to be daddies. I think I can speak for Brad and say it is one of the most rewarding, challenging, stressful, blessed jobs there is. It's got a responsibility that's invaluable, as study after study has proven the importance of dads in the lives of their children as role models and educators. A son learns from his father the way to be a good one ... or, interestingly, how to avoid being a bad one.

Brad has worked very hard to be a good father. He has searched the Scriptures for God's direction. He has read books on how to be a godly man and father like "How To Raise A Modern Day Knight" by Robert Lewis, "A Man After God's Own Heart" by Jim George,"7 Men" by Eric Metaxas, "For Men Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn, "The Resolution For Men" by Randy Alcorn, "Better Dads, Stronger Sons" and "The Power Of A Man" by Rick Johnson, "Quiet Strength" and "Uncommon" by Tony Dungy, "15 Minutes Alone With God For Men" by Bob Barnes, "The Man In The Mirror" by Patrick Morley,  and "Coach Wooden: Seven Principles That Changed His Life and Will Shape Yours" by Pat Williams among others. He takes the Bible at heart when it says in Proverbs 27:17, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." He wants to be the father God expects him to be. And all he's learned shows in his behavior toward our two children. Both of our kids are very close to their father. They respect him, enjoy his company, love to talk to him and seek his guidance. My husband is a good man. Did I know when I met him that he'd be a good father? Nope, not a clue. He isn't perfect, but he tries every single day to get better and that means something.

So our advice for our son and future son-in-law:

• Observe how God is as a father and imitate him. "Be imitators of God, as beloved children." Ephesians 5:1
• Seek wisdom. "An intelligent mind acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge." Proverbs 18:15
• Teach your children about God. "Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart. Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise." Deuteronomy 6:6-7 and "Teach a child in the way they should go and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6
• Compliment and encourage your children. "A voice from heaven said, "This is my beloved son. With him I am well pleased." Matthew 3:17 and "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4
• Be brave. "I hereby command you: Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 
• Set limits. Kids need to know their boundaries. And stick with those limits. "Discipline your children, and they will give you rest; they will give delight to your heart." Proverb 29:17
• Love deeply and sacrificially. "As a father has compassion for his children, so the Lord has compassion for those who fear him." Psalm 103:13
• Forgive easily and admit when you're wrong. "Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed." James 5:16 and "I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands.' So he set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him." Luke 15:18-20
• Love your wife. After God, she comes first. Your children are watching how your treat her. Girls will learn how they should be treated and boys are learning how they should treat a lady/ "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." Ephesians 5:25.
• Pray ... a lot. Pray God guides you as a Father. Pray continuously for your children. "Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7 and "We have not ceased praying for you and asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of God's will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding." Colossians 1:9

Happy Father's Day to all our daddies today, especially Brad, Tom, Anthony, Matt and Tommy. We love you!

Discussion: Tell about a favorite memory of your father. What are some traits that will make you a good parent?

Prayer: Father, we want to wish you above all others a Happy Father's Day, as we are so blessed to have you as our Abba Father. We give glory to you and thank you for your blessings. We thank you for daddies and pray for both Rob and Anton that they may be excellent fathers one day. In Jesus, Amen. 

Marriage Book Club

At Bible study a couple Sundays ago, the speaker said this: "Christian authors do not write books so that people will read them and just set them on the shelf to collect dust. Christian authors write books so that people will apply what they've learned to become better Christians." He was encouraging people to continue to learn and study in their faith to become better disciples to grow the Kingdom. And for Daddy and I, since marriage is a team to grow the Kingdom, reading to better your marriage is just as important.

So we wanted to take a devotion to recommend some books for you to read - either alone to together - that we think are excellent resources for marriage.

Love Life For Every Married Couple: How To Fall In Love, Stay In Love, Rekindle Your Love by Dr. Ed Wheat & Gloria Okes Perkins. This is our favorite book on marriage and the one we give a copy to every married couple at their wedding. Our copy is pretty worn out. It is filled with highlights, underlined passages and stars to mark what we want to remember. It has chapters on subjects like "Becoming Best Friends," "A Pattern For Lovers," and "The Secret of Staying In Love (Especially For Newlyweds)." Our copy originally belonged to my mother (her address is stamped across the pages at the bottom). Every so often we pull that book out and reread it together. It is a wonderful resource for loving each other the way God intended. If you do not have a copy, you can be sure we will get you one.

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman. This book is designed to help you better communicate by finding out what way your spouse best receives love: through gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service and/or physical touch. We need to speak our spouses love language to them, not assume they enjoy receiving love the way we do.

The Resolution For Men by Stephen Kendrick, Alex Kendrick, Randy Alcorn. This book is geared strictly for men, but we promise it will make a marriage better for both.It was birthed after the movie "Courageous." It challenges men to be the best kind of Christian man, even asking them to sign a resolution at the end based on characteristics like responsibility, faithfulness, honor, justice, forgiveness, integrity, and courage. Brad says every man needs to read this book. He's given out probably 100 of them.

For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. This book teaches women how to better understand the mind of a man. His need for respect, his role as provider and thoughts on sex and appearance. It gives you a much better understanding and answers lots of questions.

There are many other books on marriage, and we shared our recommendations about books on sex on Feb. 8. We have just found the above to be thorough, Scripture focused and practical to apply. You can never stop learning how to be a better Christian in all the different aspects of it from evangelism, to health, to parenting, to forgiveness, marriage and so on. So don't ever stop looking to those God has inspired to write about them ... especially the Bible itself. As 2 Timothy 3:16 says, "All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness." Then apply what you've learned and see what a difference it makes in you.

Discussion: Have you already read some books about marriage? Do you think it is important to continue to seek out resources for Christian growth?

Prayer: Lord, we thank You for the words Your children have written to help us better adhere to Christian principles to make us better disciples, husbands, wives, evangelists, children, parents and teachers. Father, give us a drive to want to learn more. In our Great Teacher Jesus Christ, Amen.

Simply Irresistable

Brad has gorgeous big, blue eyes. He's an amazing tan year round. His legs are long and muscular. I could go on, but suffice it to say he is a truly sexy guy. I would love to watch him play sports cause I could get to watch him flex all those muscles. But let me tell you something, there is nothing sexier than a man on his knees in prayer to the Father. Hands down. And when that man is your husband, wow. I think it's because men have been taught to be so tough, in control of everything and even braggarts when it comes to one-upmanship with other men, that when you see one humbling themselves before the Almighty, it's beautiful to behold. What woman wouldn't be attracted to the man who realizes Who is the most important in this world and loves Him desperately, a man who goes to the Creator for advice and guidance, for forgiveness and praises Him. I remember the first time I caught Brad praying on his knees. It took my breath away.

We bring this up because we want you both to know that. For Rob to know how amazing and reassuring it is to a wife to know her husband is going to the Father regularly and for Ayla to look on that petitioning and worship time as sacred and, well, sexy. If people would ask me today what I find attractive about my husband, his bowing before the Great I Am is at the top of the list, even with all his many other obviously qualities.

The Master is at work, and Brad says, we need to go to Him continually to make sure we are aligning ourselves to His will: "As a man, the whole point is for you to be the spiritual leader of your house. If men do not go to him, they're not leaders at all. There is nothing you can ever do that will every justify you being right by your family if you don't go to Him. You want to do what's right, you want to be in charge ... you give it to to God."

Brad says every man should have two books by their bedside: the Bible and The Resolution For Men. Between the two, he says, those two books teach men how to be Godly leaders. Brad has read many books on leadership, fatherhood, marriage and the like to learn all he could about what God requires of him, and of all of them, those two books above are his go to books. He has handed out probably 100 copies of the book The Resolution For Men, because he believes that much in its ability to educate men about their responsibilities. And keeping God at the forefront is number one.

So Rob, pray. Often. And both of you, remember, it's not the physique, the clothes, the hair, the cologne, the voice or the swagger. Nope, it's the acknowledgment of Who is King and submission to His direction that will be irresistible. Trust us. (wink, wink).

Discussion: What do you find attractive about each other? Have you ever caught each other in prayer? What books have you read to learn about being a leader? Have you read The Resolution for Men?

Prayer: Lord, it is important for a man to know what his responsibilities are to his wife and family. We pray, Father, that Rob always remembers where to go for advice and direction, humbling himself before you. We pray Ayla sees the beauty in those moments. We love you, Lord. In Christ, Amen.