Marriage Insurance

Anton asked me yesterday about renter's insurance. What amount should he get? How should he pay it? They are good questions for a young man about to rent his very first apartment. And it got me thinking. We have insurance for our cars, homes, apartments, health and even our earthly life. Some people have insurance for jewelry, boats and other high-end personal possessions. Some singers have insurance on their vocal chords. Dancers have insurance on their legs. Quarterbacks have insurance on their throwing arms. People protect what is of great value to them.

That being said ... what insurance do you have for your marriage? Now please don't ask, "Is there marriage insurance?" And for heavens sake, don't even mention a prenup. (For those who don't know, it's a prenuptial agreement between the bride and groom over possessions should the union end - it's a safety net in case of divorce.). So I'm not speaking actual marriage insurance. I'm talking about what lengths you are willing to go to protect this extraordinarily important union called marriage. How much is this marriage worth to you?

I am hoping you'll say this upcoming marriage is worth more than your house, car, apartment, boat or jewelry. It should rank right up at the top of your priority list.

A friend at church shared a story where her boss asked her to list the priorities in her life. She said, "God, husband, children, work." He told her to pack up her things, go home and reprioritize if she planned on working for him. She was devastated at the loss of her job, but stuck to her beliefs. Within days, the Lord opened an opportunity for her financially that has continued to this day and blessed her immeasurably. Her priorities were dead on. The boss on the other hand ... was fired by his boss within the year. His priorities were off.

Your God should be the most important thing in your life. Christ said in Matthew 22:37, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." So that comes first. Then your spouse should follow. Then your children. Then anything else. You know how important those things are. And they are worth protecting. So what is your insurance? You need to invest in those things. You need to invest time with God. You need to invest time in the Word. You need to invest time in prayer. You need to invest in time with your spouse and your future children. Notice that time is the connection there.

Work at your marriage. Love your spouse. Go on marriage retreats together and to conferences (like the one Rob and Ayla attended recently). Read books on marriage together. Do devotions together. Pray together. Go on dates. Have fun together. Your marriage is of great worth, so take special care of it. Invest in it.

The Bible is the best insurance for liability, collision and comprehension in your marriage. It's the best insurance for natural disasters, disease, road hazards and mishaps. That Word of God has got the best coverage ever. So dig into it. And when you sign that marriage license, know that you've got the best policy ever with the Father ... with zero deductible, because Christ already paid it.

Discussion: How are your current priorities? What are some other ways to make your marriage a priority? How can you tell what a priority is in your life?

Prayer: Father, we know when we make those vows before you, we are promising to make this marriage a priority. Help us Lord to care for one another and invest in each other. Help us to seek your Word for guidance and direction in our lives. And let it all be to your glory. In your Son's name, Amen.

Plenty More To Learn

After inviting a man to Bible study once, I remember him saying to me, "I was confirmed when I was 14. What more do I need to learn?" I was surprised by both his ignorance and pride. Surely he didn't honestly believe he had learned all there was to learn about Scripture by the time he was 14? I've been reading it over and over again, and I'm 50 and certainly have plenty more to learn.

Two week ago, a group of nine people were shot and killed by a stranger who attended their Bible study in Charleston, S.C. A week later, 100 people showed up to that Bible study. Many were family members of the deceased. How wonderful that 100 people came to the same room to hear what the Word of God had to say to them, especially amidst such tragic, senseless loss. Looking for answers, looking for clarity, looking for hope, looking for support? Whatever the reason, the Bible study was the place they chose to find it. Praying 100 or more come tonight to their church study, and that it continues to grow and grow as they likewise do the same in the Word.

You will never know all there is to know about the Word of God. Just when you think you've got a particular verse or book figured out, God will open your eyes to new information to profoundly influence your spiritual life. No idea how many times I've read 1 Peter, but this verse (4:14) jumped out at me Sunday in worship: "If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you." It's timing was perfect and blessed me deeply. The Bible is called the Living Word for a reason.

We want to be sure you sweet ones continually seek out God's Word, reading, studying, listening. There is so much for you to grasp, absorb, memorize and apply. In this world of changing truths, the Truth of Scripture is paramount. We need our Father's guidance to know what Truth is. So dig in every single day. Study together. Study apart. Study with a group. Study morning, noon and evening. Don't ever stop studying. We promise you, there is so much more for you to learn.

Discussion: Are you currently doing - or are involved in - a Bible study? What book or section of the Bible would you like to learn more about? What is the best Bible study you have ever done?

Prayer: Lord Jesus, we never want to stop learning more and more about You. Father, instill in us a desire to seek your Word every single day. Surprise us, Father, with Your Holy Spirit and teach us new each time we pick up our Bibles. In Christ, the Word made flesh, Amen.

Let The Morning Bring Me Word

I try to imagine Christ sitting in my kitchen tapping his fingers on the table watching me as I walk back and forth. Watching me throw in one load of laundry, put out the garbage, grab a bowl of cereal ... waiting for me to just be still and know that He is God. To visit with Him. To share my thoughts, hurts, fears, worries and joys with him. To hear, through His word, what He wants to share with me today. There are some mornings when Christ would be left sitting there all day tapping his fingers waiting. And that's a tragedy. Think of all I'm missing.

A friend tweeted a meme the other day saying the five people you most hang out with are the ones who influence you the most. The meme was designed to get you to think about who your friends are? If they are negative and bitter, are you becoming likewise? If they are gossipers, are you also? If they make poor choices, are you following that example? And contrary to that, if they are enthusiastic, loving, encouraging, are they inspiring those traits in you? As soon as I saw the meme, I thought about those I most hang out with. The first name that came to mind was Christ. And I praise the Father for that. While I may let the busy-ness of my day or my distracted thoughts to take away from time I could and should be having with Him, for the most part, I try to make sure my life revolves around my Lord. And I pray His influence shows. And shouldn't we all have our Lord as one of those top five?

Not everyone has time each day to spend a portion of their mornings in devotion. Nor would we say you absolutely should. But we would certainly encourage it. A time of prayer. A time of Bible reading. Mornings are not my best time of day. I'm a late afternoon gal. Everything kicks in and I'm at the top of my game. You want me to complete a project at peak efficiency with the greatest results, have me do in the afternoon into the night. That said, I still make time nearly every morning for my Father. I have to make the time, because if I'm honest, I'm brain sluggish, have stuff to do and want to get started on my day. But then really, is there any better way to get started? Some folks say their devotion time is right before bed, which is great cause then you're sleeping all filled with the Word. But shouldn't our day begin that way as well? Before our feet hit the floor in the morning, give your day to our Father. Have your Bible sitting right there on your nightstand to reach out and grab His Word for your day. Even if it's just a bit, it's better than nothing at all. Let the Word fill you for the whole day.

I am sitting here writing this in the morning. Eyes half open, sun barely up, bed recently made. I've not had breakfast, coffee or even my devotion time with the Lord (unless you count this). So perhaps, my "not an early riser" comments above should be tweaked a bit. Because with the right motivation (my sweet, precious Father in heaven) you can do good things even during the times of the day that are typically your sluggish times.

Who are you spending time with? How are they influencing you? Can we encourage you, our dear children, to set time aside every single day for God? Psalm 143:8 says, "Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life." In Revelation 3:20 it says, "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me." He's waiting. If you can give Him just a few minutes of your morning, you will find you become addicted to Him. You may find you cannot begin your day without that time. And then you may end up giving Him a few more minutes and then a few more. Give it a shot. We promise it will bless you, your relationships and your day in abundant ways.

Time for my morning devotions. Jesus is waiting.

Discussion: Do you spend time each day in prayer or reading God's Word? Do you pray together? What is a good time for your devotions? Have you tried giving Him a bit of your morning?

Prayer: Good morning, dear Father Almighty! Glory to you! Thank you for your Holy Spirit to teach and guide us this day, and we pray my focus is on you this entire day. Help us to remember to carve time in our day just to spend time with You. Bless me to be a blessing to others through your Word. Holy, holy, holy are You! In Jesus, Amen.

Sign In

There seems to be more and more clever ways to have guests "sign in" at your wedding. In our day, you had a white-covered book and a feather pen for guests to use to sign in at the reception. Nowadays there are tons of options. We have seen people use ink pads to press their fingerprint to a guest book or to use as leaves on a tree trunk or balloons and sign their names. I've seen butterflies on a background, a drawing of stacked books where folks signed them as titles and coloring tiny characatures on a page. We've seen a frame filled with tiny wooden hearts that have the names of all the guests on them. Signed stones in a jar. A map with tiny pins and the names of guests and where they are coming from for the wedding. Signing a matte around the picture as a guest book. Polaroids in the photo album. Petals on a giant flower. A wooden keg barrel signed by all. A Bible where people highlight their favorite verse and sign their name next to it. And scrapbook pages where folks can sign their names around pictures of the couple. There are lots of different ways people can sign in at the reception. I think Ayla and Rob and Kayla and Tone are planning on using multiple guest book ideas. I know Gaga got both girls a guest book for people to sign. I got Ayla a scrapbook. I know both girls were planning on having a Bible available to highlighting.

Your guests are special in that they will witness your covenant before God, so to have a collection of their signatures is a sweet way of remembering who all sat before the Lord in witness to the union. It's a responsibility on it's own to witness before God and a honor to be selected by the couple to do so. And remember God, too, is a witness. In Genesis 31:50 says "Remember, God is a witness between you and me."

We pray as you look back on whatever you've chosen to have guests use to sign in, that it will be a sweet reminder of the souls who made the journey to serve as witnesses and celebrate with you. Perhaps it too can be a reminder for you to pray for them.

Discussion: What are some clever guest book ideas you have seen? What is it you would like to do at your wedding? Why is it important to you to have a guest book?

Prayer: Lord we thank you in advance for the people who will be in attendance for both couple's wedding. We pray they take their witness very seriously. And we pray they come up with a precious and clever way to remember who all celebrates with them. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Marriage Book Club

At Bible study a couple Sundays ago, the speaker said this: "Christian authors do not write books so that people will read them and just set them on the shelf to collect dust. Christian authors write books so that people will apply what they've learned to become better Christians." He was encouraging people to continue to learn and study in their faith to become better disciples to grow the Kingdom. And for Daddy and I, since marriage is a team to grow the Kingdom, reading to better your marriage is just as important.

So we wanted to take a devotion to recommend some books for you to read - either alone to together - that we think are excellent resources for marriage.

Love Life For Every Married Couple: How To Fall In Love, Stay In Love, Rekindle Your Love by Dr. Ed Wheat & Gloria Okes Perkins. This is our favorite book on marriage and the one we give a copy to every married couple at their wedding. Our copy is pretty worn out. It is filled with highlights, underlined passages and stars to mark what we want to remember. It has chapters on subjects like "Becoming Best Friends," "A Pattern For Lovers," and "The Secret of Staying In Love (Especially For Newlyweds)." Our copy originally belonged to my mother (her address is stamped across the pages at the bottom). Every so often we pull that book out and reread it together. It is a wonderful resource for loving each other the way God intended. If you do not have a copy, you can be sure we will get you one.

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman. This book is designed to help you better communicate by finding out what way your spouse best receives love: through gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service and/or physical touch. We need to speak our spouses love language to them, not assume they enjoy receiving love the way we do.

The Resolution For Men by Stephen Kendrick, Alex Kendrick, Randy Alcorn. This book is geared strictly for men, but we promise it will make a marriage better for both.It was birthed after the movie "Courageous." It challenges men to be the best kind of Christian man, even asking them to sign a resolution at the end based on characteristics like responsibility, faithfulness, honor, justice, forgiveness, integrity, and courage. Brad says every man needs to read this book. He's given out probably 100 of them.

For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. This book teaches women how to better understand the mind of a man. His need for respect, his role as provider and thoughts on sex and appearance. It gives you a much better understanding and answers lots of questions.

There are many other books on marriage, and we shared our recommendations about books on sex on Feb. 8. We have just found the above to be thorough, Scripture focused and practical to apply. You can never stop learning how to be a better Christian in all the different aspects of it from evangelism, to health, to parenting, to forgiveness, marriage and so on. So don't ever stop looking to those God has inspired to write about them ... especially the Bible itself. As 2 Timothy 3:16 says, "All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness." Then apply what you've learned and see what a difference it makes in you.

Discussion: Have you already read some books about marriage? Do you think it is important to continue to seek out resources for Christian growth?

Prayer: Lord, we thank You for the words Your children have written to help us better adhere to Christian principles to make us better disciples, husbands, wives, evangelists, children, parents and teachers. Father, give us a drive to want to learn more. In our Great Teacher Jesus Christ, Amen.

New Year's Resolutions

Only 288 days to go! Whoop, whoop. Less than 10 months until you become Mr. and Mrs. Doesn't sound so far away any more! Happening this year, baby! 2015! An exciting year ahead between your wedding and Anton's college graduation. (Also the year your Daddy and I turn 50, but we won't go there yet). We are getting so excited! Praying this whole year is a happy one filled with gobs of blessings for everyone.

Your Daddy and I are kicking off this new year in New Orleans ... newspaper duty calls: Sugar Bowl with Alabama and Ohio State. It is exciting to see all the fans here celebrating the start of 2015. So many amazing things to see and do and taste in this wild city. A bunch to hide your eyes and ears from as well. That's where using Scripture and God as a filter come in.

If there was anything we would wish for you in 2015, that would be it. That everything you do be filtered by the grace of God. Every decision you make, every word you speak, every thing you watch or read, every action you both take, that you use the best-selling book of all time and the Creator who wrote it to guide your steps. Friends told me recently that they as a couple are reading through the Bible together during 2015. While both have read through the Bible independently before several times, this is the first time they have read it through together. A sweet time of togetherness, devotion, study and spiritual growth. Imagine facing every day together after a morning of Scripture time. What a perfect plumb line they will have to set their day by.

Set yourself some goals this year, including spiritual ones. Back in November we talked about ..spiritual measurement. Make good on growing ever closer to our Father. Read the Word every day. Pray. Take a new study. Get involved in a small group. While you are at it, stretch yourself creatively, learn something new, volunteer in some aspect, do random acts of kindness, spend time with God just to be with Him, and make every effort to love each other faithfully and  preciously in word and deed.

Know that we are praying for you in this new year. That you grow every more in love and ever closer to the One who brought you together. We love you both. Happy, healthy, blessed 2015!

Discussion: What are your individual goals for this year? What are your goals as a couple? What is something you have always wanted to do or learn that is reachable this year? What can you do this year to grow spiritually?

Prayer: Father we dedicate this year entirely to you. We pray your Holy Spirit and Word guide us. Help us be wise in our decision making and quick to love your children. In the name of the One to whom every knee will bow, Amen.