Laying on of Hands

At the very end of a wedding worship service, the officiant will typically offer up a final prayer over the newlyweds. Then immediately afterwards will introduce the couple as the new Mr. and Mrs. So and So. But recently a friend told me about the most favorite part of his wedding. It was when his church family came up and laid hands on him and his wife at the very end as the prayer was read. He called it a "treasure." I actually participated in this laying on of hands, and I was so moved by the idea of having it be part of our children's weddings. To have your family or friends come up and lay hands on you just after you've taken your vows, is a powerfully touching idea.

The laying on of hands is one of my most favorite things in the church. It's a show of unity in the form of a blessing. People place their hand on your shoulder, back or head. When there are lots of folks, others place their hands on the person in front of them closest to the one being prayed for. In the Bible it was used as a blessing, bestowing spiritual gifts, in confirmations and ordinations, in healings and to receive the Holy Spirit. Jesus did this with the little children in Marl 10:16 "And He took them in His arms and began blessing them, laying His hands on them." I have seen miracles take place in the laying on of hands. It's a physical visual of a spiritual premise where "two or more are gathered" in His name (Matthew 18:20). And if you are the one receiving this blessing, it is something you never forget.

It's not something done for just any purpose nor done without reverence. 1 Timothy 5:22 actually warns of laying hands "too hastily" especially for someone who may not have a relationship with Jesus. It's a form of reverent worship and prayer. It is beautiful to behold and divine to participate in.

We wanted to share and encourage this option for our engaged couples. To have your parents, siblings, friends and church family lay hands on you during prayer, as you hold hands as a newly married couple, is a memory you will cherish forever.

Discussion: Have you ever participated in a laying on of hands? Have you ever been on the receiving end of a laying on of hands? What are your thoughts about having the laying on of hands at the end of your wedding service?

Prayer: Lord God we lift these engaged couples to you has they spend these last days single and excitedly anticipate the day when they will be joined in marriage. We thank you for being present in the union and ask for your blessing on them. In Jesus, Amen.

Microcosm of Life's Journey

The RSVPs are coming in! It is so exciting to see the names of folks who are making the journey to Florida from California, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Alabama, Massachusetts, Montana, New Hampshire, Iowa, Rhode Island, North and South Carolina, Texas and other locations around the country. Ayla and Rob have friends and family all over our nation, so to bring them together for this special occasion is so fun. I have delighted in hearing from precious friends who have messaged me with "Got my tickets!" or "We coming!"  or "Looks like we'll see you in Florida!" My heart is overflowing with joy at celebrating this day with folks near and dear to our hearts. God has truly blessed our family in this life journey with friends who are loving, fun and willing to carve time out of their busy lives to witness and celebrate this marriage. Praise Jesus!

We know to come for this wedding this is quite a sacrifice for many, and we pray will bless them as much as it will bless us and Rob and Ayla. And we look forward to celebrating again with Anton and Kayla in June of next year. I think what is so amazing about these celebrations, is that the guest list is a microcosm of our children's and their fiance's lives. People they have known and loved since infancy or met as young children. Some they have met in high school. Others in college. And still others from life post-college. Some from various churches they've attended. People from the different locations they've lived in. When you couples stand in front of these guests to say your vows, you truly will have your whole lives leading up to this moment sitting right behind you, supporting you, encouraging you, loving you, mentoring you and blessing you. These folks have helped shape who you are today. Some have prayed for you your whole lives. The conversations and stories these people could share with one another about this common tie they all have in you! To go around that reception hall and just simply ask, "How do you know the bride? How do you know the groom?" What a fun time!

My dear ones, how honored you must be to know the ones who love you will be part of the beginning to great new adventure for you! And the best part is ... it's a worship service! They will gather to witness your marriage and worship the One True God together with you! Glory to Him!

We want you to take time to reflect on the names of the souls who will make this journey to be at your wedding. Pray for them. Pray for their safe travels. Pray for the quality time you'll spend with them. Pray the Lord blesses them as they will bless you. And thank God for them. Philippians 1:31 says, "I thank my God every time I remember you." Thank God for the part they've played in your life, what they've witnessed in your life and will soon witness. What a marvelous journey this life has been and will continue to be. May it always be to God's glory!

Discussion: Share with one another some unique stories about some of the guests attending your wedding. Why is it important these folks witness your marriage? Share also about friends or family you wish could attend.

Prayer: Father God, thank You for each individual who will come to our children's weddings. We thank you for having our lives intersect theirs and thank you that they are coming to celebrate with us. Lord, You are amazing and we are blessed indeed by Your children. In Christ we pray, Amen.

Sign In

There seems to be more and more clever ways to have guests "sign in" at your wedding. In our day, you had a white-covered book and a feather pen for guests to use to sign in at the reception. Nowadays there are tons of options. We have seen people use ink pads to press their fingerprint to a guest book or to use as leaves on a tree trunk or balloons and sign their names. I've seen butterflies on a background, a drawing of stacked books where folks signed them as titles and coloring tiny characatures on a page. We've seen a frame filled with tiny wooden hearts that have the names of all the guests on them. Signed stones in a jar. A map with tiny pins and the names of guests and where they are coming from for the wedding. Signing a matte around the picture as a guest book. Polaroids in the photo album. Petals on a giant flower. A wooden keg barrel signed by all. A Bible where people highlight their favorite verse and sign their name next to it. And scrapbook pages where folks can sign their names around pictures of the couple. There are lots of different ways people can sign in at the reception. I think Ayla and Rob and Kayla and Tone are planning on using multiple guest book ideas. I know Gaga got both girls a guest book for people to sign. I got Ayla a scrapbook. I know both girls were planning on having a Bible available to highlighting.

Your guests are special in that they will witness your covenant before God, so to have a collection of their signatures is a sweet way of remembering who all sat before the Lord in witness to the union. It's a responsibility on it's own to witness before God and a honor to be selected by the couple to do so. And remember God, too, is a witness. In Genesis 31:50 says "Remember, God is a witness between you and me."

We pray as you look back on whatever you've chosen to have guests use to sign in, that it will be a sweet reminder of the souls who made the journey to serve as witnesses and celebrate with you. Perhaps it too can be a reminder for you to pray for them.

Discussion: What are some clever guest book ideas you have seen? What is it you would like to do at your wedding? Why is it important to you to have a guest book?

Prayer: Lord we thank you in advance for the people who will be in attendance for both couple's wedding. We pray they take their witness very seriously. And we pray they come up with a precious and clever way to remember who all celebrates with them. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Osee Esahtootskah Nethlah!

It's never actually been proven that we're of Seminole descent, but my Grandma Haas believed it was so. She said she had a Great Grandma Naomi who was Seminole. This always made me proud for several reasons: to have some Native American in me and because it was the Seminole tribe, a tribe that never made a treaty with U.S. government. Pretty tough tribe. And sweet that they are from Florida, where Rob and Ayla now live. Now Aunt Nicki, who's done our family genealogy has found nothing to prove that, but I've seen a picture of Nancy Fraley Cook and she sure looks like it.

So going purely on the word of your Great Grandma Haas, we're going to look at Seminole wedding traditions ... just in case.

Before a Seminole man could marry he had to prove he was a man (like by killing a wild boar) and prove he could chop wood and build a hut. A bride had to show she could make a skirt (which she wore at her wedding) and that she could clean a house.

Seminole weddings take place at sunset and are very simple. The groom goes to the house of his mother-in-law and a male member of the family (usually the bride's dad) performs the simple ceremony. The officiant says, "You take each other for man and wife forever." They are now wed. The only thing they have to be careful of is that they don't marry someone from their same clan. In Florida there are a bunch of different clans: Panther, Bear, Deer, Wind, Bigtown, Bird, Snake and Otter. No idea which clan you're 1/128th Seminole, but Bigtown would be fun and would make sense since they are descendents of a white woman/Seminole man marriage.

If you were to wear traditional Seminole dress, it would include a full length skirt, blouse and cape in bright colors in zigzag, checked or striped patterns. Lots of necklaces made of glass beads would be worn by the lady all the way up her neck and as wide as her shoulders. The groom wears a long appliqued shirt, turban or other type of hat and beaded leather belt.

That's it ... that's all I could find. So looks like we've at least got the close to sunset thing going and the bride's dad doing the wedding. Personally I'd like to see Rob and Anton come home with a wild boar.

Osee Esahtootskah Nethlah (Good Match Day)!

Discussion: What traditions of the Seminole tribe surprised you? Which intrigue you?

Prayer: Father, we thank you for all peoples in this world and the different elements they bring to our culture. We love you, Lord and thank you that we can glorify you in these upcoming weddings. In Jesus, Amen.

Worth A Thousands Words

Your Dad laughs and shakes his head at my photo collection. I have taken pictures of every major event in our life together and my children's lives. I've been taking pictures since I won a camera in a contest when I was in grade school. I praise God for the photos I have, because I have a terrible memory. These photos help me remember where I've been, what I've done and when things happened. Of course, I also try to take good pictures from a artistic standpoint. I try to capture good light, interesting angles, precious moments in time and unique expressions. I remember on a trip to the Dells when I was 17, we watched as a dog jumped from a cliff to a rock tower. I was the only one of our party who caught the dog precisely between both in midair ... and that was not with a sequence camera. It was just one good shot. Photos are important to me and I have tons to prove it.

I know that you are in the middle of a hunt for a good photographer ... and on top of that, one who is affordable. There are so many to choose from, but it's the budget that narrows the field. Your Daddy and I were ever budget conscious and found our photographer in the Pennysaver, a tiny community newsprint magazine of classifieds. He was affordable, good and fun. He shot everything we asked of him and then some, caught some sweet moments and printed some beautiful portraits for us. The cost was $300. But here's the thing ... except for the main portrait of your Daddy and I and a couple of us alone before the wedding, I hardly ever look at them. Now don't get me wrong, they are great pictures and a lovely microcosm of our day, but they just sit in a leather photo album that we pull out probably once a year on our anniversary to go through. My favorite photos of our wedding are still the ones people shot with their own cameras and gave to us, because these people got everyone unposed: laughing, crying, cuddling, slipping, eating, dancing and likewise captured us that way.

So what is our advice for photographer shopping. Get the best one you can afford. Look for someone who captures unexpected moments, has perfect use of light, creates art, is flexible time wise, gives you the digital rights to it so you can make copies you want and will make affordable high quality portrait prints for the few you'll want. Ask for references from friends. Ask to see their portfolio. Be picky as these will be the only wedding photos you will have, but be smart with regards to their value. We will be praying you find the best person.

Discussion: What is important to you from a photography standpoint? What are the "must have" shots? What don't you really care about from a photography standpoint?

Prayer: Father, you have given us such beauty around us to capture! Thank you for the ability to do so. Lord, we pray Ayla and Rob find the best photographer for their needs to perfectly capture their special day. Thank you in advance for this person. In Jesus, Amen.

Venue Sweet Venue

We have a venue! Praise the Lord! What a load off that is! To know that you have found a beautiful location on the Manatee River not far from your apartment where you can have both your wedding and reception in the same place is convenient and comforting. It incorporates what you both love: Ayla near the water and Rob near the boats in the marina. With gulls and pelicans flying by, this will be a lovely place to stand before our Lord and say your vows, then celebrate as the sun sets behind.

There is lots to love about this location aside from its proximity to your home and the beautiful riverside location. There is also the organization of the banquet hall, its layout designed to accommodate weddings, nice-sized dance floor, bride's dressing room, excellent food (very important to you both) and large deck for an outdoor ceremony (not to mention a Plan B location indoors if it rains). And the fact that it comes with a wedding coordinator! Ahhhh, I know you both as full-time employees and your parents who are far away are grateful to God that we have found such a perfect full-service place.

There may be some folks who say, "But it's not a church." To that we would ask, "What is the church?" If the church is not a building, but rather a gathering of souls who love and worship the Father, then we should have the church covered. Plus with your Daddy doing the ceremony, God will be all over this. We will praise His name and lift Him high. If there are folks there who do not have a relationship with Christ, they will certainly hear about Him that day.

May this location be a holy place where God blesses your union, where He will be glorified, where you will have a sweet celebration and precious memories. Add where you can come back and reminisce and celebrate future anniversaries. 

Discussion: What are some hopes you have for your wedding/reception location? What are ways you planning to make this location a holy place for your nuptials?

Prayer: Father, we thank you for this beautiful place where in less than 10 months, Rob and Ayla will be united together in You. We pray for your Holy Spirit to be present and to bless not only Rob and Ayla but all who attend and the location itself. We also ask for prayers for those who will set up, prepare food, clean up, decorate and the coordinator who pulls it all together. In Jesus, Amen.

Moments and Memories

Last night we had our Christmas Caroling Campfire. It was a lot of fun. We had 40 people show up. Of those who RSVPed, 20 did not come (those who called and cancelled did so mostly for illness). We, of course, planned for the number that RSVPed, so we had quite a bit of leftover food. Much time, work and money went into our campfire party as it does every year from raking the yard free of acorns, cutting firewood and kindling, stirring gallons of cocoa, hanging lights, purchasing food and paper products, setting up tables, making caroling cards and signage and cleaning the house before and after. But what it comes down to is the comradery. The fellowship with everyone is the best part. The singing, visiting, sharing food and hand prints on the wall. Those are the bits folks will remember. Not the tinsel-and-ornament-covered fig tree or 70 hot dogs, but just having fun.

We want you both to remember that when you are wedding planning. We know you are already on a tight budget, but remember what the event is all about. You are getting married, convenantly joining before the Father and then celebrating with friends. So do what you need to do to make that happen, but don't knock yourself out with excess or worry about the small stuff. It is going to be a blessed celebration no matter what you do and no matter who comes. There will be worship. There will be sweetness. There will be laughter. There will be great memories.

So pray for God's guidance in preparation for everything. Do you need this or that? What will make this day special for you? What will just be unnecessary excess? Remember what the event is all about and just enjoy the process of getting it there. Then there will be true joy before, during and after the wedding. And God will be glorified.

Discussion: Make a list of the needs and wants for your wedding. What are some of the wants that may not be feasible? What kinds of memories do you want to have from your special day? What memories do you want people to leave the wedding with?

Prayer: Lord, getting caught up it wedding preparation and saving financially can be stressful and even take our focus off the true reason for this ceremony, which is to make a promise before you and family and friends. Father, we pray that you will guide us all as we work to meet the needs and perhaps even some wants for this special day. May you be glorified in it all. We love you. In the sweet name of Jesus, Amen.

Poured Out

Did you know that Jesus' first miracle was at a wedding? Recorded by John in the second chapter of the gospel, he tells of his first-hand observance where Jesus turns water into wine at a wedding reception. Everyone is having a grand time drinking wine at the wedding feast, and it runs out. His mom, Mary, sees that there's no more wine and goes to her son, whom she knows is God, to tell Him about it. And Christ's response is classic. He says in verse 4, "What concern is that to you and me? My hour has not yet come." It's like He's saying, "Seriously, you are asking Me to do a miracle for this? I am just starting this ministry, just now gathering disciples and you want Me to get more wine or even make it? That is not why I'm here. It's not my job. It's not my time." (Makes you wonder what she observed Him do prior to this event.) But here's the beautiful part. This story is bathed in symbolism, literally. First, the jars Christ asks the servants to fill with water are stone jars used in ritual washing for the Jews. This ceremonial washing was to cleanse and purify the Jews prior to meals and worship. And these jars were big, holding upwards of 30 gallons of

water. Christ asks for six of these to be filled. Then He just asks the servant to draw some out and take it to the chief steward. Imagine the bravery of the servant carrying a cup of what was originally water to his boss for a taste. Then imagine his surprise that is was the best wine ever. Think about the number of people that day who learned what happened there. You can hear the whispers: "Psst, I heard Mary's son, the carpenter, magically transformed this water into wine. Not even kidding." Christ, in this one act, was announcing to all the people at that wedding (many who were probably drunk with wine at this point), "Hey, look what I can do" with a more poignant "See Who I Am." The fact that He used jars for ritual cleansing and changed it into wine, you can see the symbolism and preview of His saying at the Last Supper (recorded in Luke 22:20), "This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for many." They would not need stone jars for ritual cleansing anymore. Christ had it covered.

We know you both love wine (and have the cork collection to prove it). As cuisiniers, you know what wines enhance other foods to make them taste even better. And obviously Christ loved it, too, enough to make it an example and symbol of His great sacrifice for all time. We love that Christ chose (even if his mom nudged Him to do it) a wedding, a sacred event and union symbolic of His marriage to the church, to introduce Himself as Savior. And it was this first miracle that convinced the men who recently decided to follow him (John, Andrew, Peter, Nathaniel and Phillip in John 1) that they were following the right Rabbi. John 2:11 says, "Jesus did this, the first of His signs, in Cana of Galilee, and revealed His glory; and His disciples believed in Him."

Christ has revealed His glory, and we believe. Pouring His life out for ours and rising from the dead, glory to Him.

Now don't count on Christ changing any water into wine at your wedding reception. But you can count on this: no matter what you do in this life, no matter what mistakes you make in your relationship together, He has it covered.

Discussion: What impresses you most about this first miracle at the wedding in Cana? Just for fun, what kind of wine do you think Christ turned it into? How important is the symbolism of wine to Christ's blood to you? Is communion a possibility at your wedding? What kinds of wine will you have at your reception?

Prayer: Father, we thank you for your Son, for His sacrifice for us and most importantly that He conquered death that we can be brought to you pure and holy. Thank you for Him and the beautiful symbol of the wine at the wedding in Cana. In name of the True Vine (John 15:5), Amen.

Preversary

My dearest daughter and future son-in-law,

Your Daddy and I are celebrating our 27th wedding anniversary today ... and 31 years together after meeting in 1983 on the campus of the University of Iowa when we fell in love at just 18 years of age. To be still in love and together after all these years is not just lucky, it's not just a fairytale, it is not just happily ever after, and it's not just expected. It is hard work. But mostly it is faithfulness. It's is being obedient to the One True God and knowing we are together by His grace and for His glory.

We have learned quite a bit about marriage in our 27 years together. We've learned through prayer, experience, countless failures, breathtaking successes and much study. Yes, study. See, our marriage is so important to us, that we strive to always make it better, so that means reading, research and retreats ... all with God and the Bible at the center.

In just 365 days, you will become husband and wife and we are honored you selected this date to do so. On this - your "preversary" as you call it - we would like to gift this blog to you. We want to teach you everything we possibly can about the intricacies of marriage that we've learned in this next year so that we can, with all confidence, say that we've adequately prepared you for this adventure ahead. Not that we can possibly prepare you for everything you will face, but perhaps we can make somethings easier. And maybe, just maybe, you'll skip some of the failures we had and go straight to those breathtaking successes.

In this year we will look at everything from wedding elements to wisdom to family. If you have questions, ask them. If you need more information, dig for it. If you need prayer in a specific area, we'd like to join you in it. We hope that you, together, can read this each day as a devotion, discussion, prayer and worship time. You may not have the chance everyday to read it, but it is our goal to create one as such for you each day to do so. It's that important to us. And more importantly, you are.

We have titled the blog, Betrothed in Faithfulness after a verse in Hosea 2:19-20 which says: "I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord." We belief that you are together not just because of the "in love" feelings you have for each other, but because God ordained it as such. And we hope you keep focused on Him. We love you very much. We congratulate you on your engagement - this preparation time for your wedding and marriage. Delight every moment! And in 365 days we look forward to witnessing before our Father as you exchange vows to love, honor and cherish each other till death do you part. God bless you both.

Discussion Question: What are your personal hopes for this day in 2015 and how do you intend to keep God at the center of it?

Prayer: Lord God, we uplift Rob and Ayla this day, one complete orbit of the earth around the sun from the date they have set to wed. May they have open ears to hear all that you have for them to learn in these days leading up to that day of union. And we thank you, Father, for being the center of our marriage. Glory to you, O Lord. In Jesus name. Amen.