The Secret Recipe

The other day I was reading a blog posted by one of Ayla's childhood friends named Lea Rackley Ehret. Lea is of the best writers I've come across, and has been since she was little. She is hilarious, brilliant, has a near photographic memory and a masterful manipulation of words and descriptions. You cannot help but be uplifted when you read anything she's written ... even a recipe. This post in her blog Hey There, Wonder was dated June 15, 2014 about her father ("100 Reasons Why My Dad Wins At Being A Dad"). While I know her dad, Lawson, I am pretty sure anyone who doesn't know him would enjoy reading all her ruminations and blips about his various character traits. But there was one thing that stood out to me above all the rest (even number 58 which I am still giggling about) and that was number 29. She writes:

 "When my mom got the car she drives now, my dad had said, 'I love seeing her this happy. She's like a kid on Christmas.' I was 19 at the time, and I remember thinking that that was it, that was the secret recipe, the special sauce, to what had been a generally warm fam life. Our parents just want to see each other happy."

I thought about that afterward with such warmth. Of course, that's the secret recipe! Who wouldn't fall desperately in love with their spouse over and over again if said spouse was all about making you happy?

Now before I get a bunch of comments like "Good gracious, it's impossible to make someone happy all the time," or "That's not my responsibility," look at from an agape standpoint. We are called to love unconditionally as God does. Isn't making the effort to see to your beloved's happiness all about that agape love? We're not talking spoiling someone with material things, and I don't think that is what Lea meant. We're talking about loving in all aspects from comfort, to care, to grace, to forgiveness, to laughter, to making memories ... to gifts. 

Your sweet beloved will be the soul you will spend the rest of your life with. God has chosen this one to be your teammate, helpmate, partner, supporter and encourager and likewise you for them. Romans 12:10 in the New Revised Standard Version says this "Love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor." Other versions state that last part this way, "In matters of worldly honour, yield to one another" (Weymouth New Testament); "Excel in showing respect for each other" (God's Word Translation); "Showing eagerness in honoring one another." (New English Translation); and "Honor one another above yourselves." (New International Version). You get the point ... your beloved deserves to be loved and honored. Now know that verse is not for married couples. That verse is for all Christians toward everyone around them. If Paul was asking the Romans to do that for everyone around them, how much moreso should we do for our spouse? 

I, like Lea, am convinced that's the secret recipe, something that originated with the Father himself. Christ says, "I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." (John 10:10) If our groom, Christ, wants His beloved bride, the church, to have an abundant life, shouldn't we as spouses do the same?

Out do one another in love. Could be quite a fun challenge to do!

Discussion: Do you think it is possible to make one another happy? What are some ways you have made each other happy? 

Prayer: Father, you have set the bar high for all of us in loving. We pray we strive to reach it in out doing not just our beloved in loving, but also all Your children around us. We have much to do to achieve that. Give us an extra Holy Spirit blessing to love with Your great passion. In Christ we pray, Amen.

I Love You

We wanted to write this one for you for Valentine's Day, but this is one of those marriage subjects that is good any day. Those three key words that we hope you will say often to one another ... "I love you." You may have heard before that our American English only has one word for love. We love chocolate, warm weather, a back rub ... and our beloved. But surely the way you love those first three is nothing like the love you have for your betrothed. Yet the word is the same. Greeks have a few different words for love: agape (unconditional), phileo (brotherly) and eros (erotic) among others. I read somewhere that ancient Sanskrit and Persian had 96 and 80 words each for love. That's a lot of distinction. And with 6,500+ languages in the world, there are at least that many ways to say, "I love you." While saying it in English is enough, it would sure be sweet to stretch your mind a little bit and learn how to say it every way possible to your beloved. So we thought we'd help you out a bit a give a few ways ... including some creative ways.

For example in Ubbi Dubbi, the language game I learned from the PBS show Zoom in the 70s where you add "ub" before vowels," I love you" becomes, "Ub-eye lubove yuboo." In Pig Latin - another language game - it becomes "I-ay ove-lay oo-yay." In Elvish from Lord of the Rings, it's "Melin le." In Shyriiwook, the language of Wookies in Star Wars, it's "ah anoohowo rooohu." Numerically, "143". In sign language, the signed letters I, L and Y together.

Other languages are below. So learn a few, maybe pick a secret one for just between the two of you, and whisper those three sweet words over and over to each other.

French - Je t'aime
Polish - Kocham Cie
Danish - Jeg elsker dig
Romanian - Te iubesc
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Filipino - Mahal kita
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu
Japanese - Aishiteru
German - Ich liebe dich
Chinese - Wo ai ni
Hawaiian - Aloha au ia 'oe
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
Aramaic - Rikhmith-eykh (to female); Rikhmith-akh (to male)
Spanish - Te amo
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Saxon - Ik hou van di
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Greek - S'agapo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Czech - Miluji te
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu

Discussion: Do you have a special way of saying "I love you" to one another? Which of the above do you like?

Prayer: Father, we know You love us, for you showed us in the most amazing way ... by dying for us. Thank You, for Your beautiful Son, Jesus. May we repeat how much we love each other as often as possible. In Jesus we pray, Amen.

Dog-on Love

Fiona had to be taken to the emergency room the other day. It's rare someone asks me to pray for a dog, but I was certainly praying for her. Praying until I fell asleep. Thankfully, she is okay. Fiona is a special dog. And while I am a dog person, I don't typically go bonkers over someone else's dog. But your roommate's boxador - Fiona - I love. There is just something about her that I fell in love with when I visited in August. Maybe it's because it seemed like she fell in love with me, too. With the kisses, and sitting right on or next to me or wanting to play. Even whining when I left the room. Who wouldn't love that?

I have commented to you before that we should love our spouses the same way dogs love their owners. Unconditionally, they love, just as God intended for us all to love one another. Christ says in Matthew 22:39 (quoting from the Old Testament's Lev. 19:18) "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." The original Greek for that verse uses the word agape for unconditional love verses phileo for brotherly love. And Fiona does just that. We talked about how when you come in the front door, she is so excited that her whole body wags back and forth, not just her tail.

Imagine that kind of love from your spouse. Greeted at the door immediately with a kiss and full body wiggle! Sitting on or right next to your spouse all the time, periodically kissing their face. Soft whines when they leave. How would you ever doubt you were loved?

While we giggle at how silly it sounds, there is some truth to it. I don't think the Lord expects us to be dog-on when it comes to showing emotion, but He does expect us to love continuously. And think about how a dog loves everyone, for that matter. They don't discriminate based on looks, size, intelligence or even returned love. They just love you no matter what.

That is my advice to you. Love like Fiona. Love all the time, with all the energy you have. Do not neglect to show love to each other every moment you can. 1 Peter 4:8 says to "love each other deeply" and Col. 3:14 tells us to "put on love" like you would put on clothes each morning. Proverbs 17:17 tells us that a "friends loves at all times." Do it deliberately, show it intentionally, feel it completely.

Discuss: What do you do to show how much you love each other? What are ways you like to receive love?

Prayer: Thank you, Father God, for examples of unconditional love, whether from a pet, or more importantly, from the sacrifice of a Savior. Help us to love as you love with our whole hearts and to show it in truth and action (1 John 3:18). In Jesus name, Amen.