Advance Notice

Yesterday Anton and Kayla got an invitation to the wedding of a friend. What is interesting is the invitation is for a wedding taking place the day after Ayla and Rob's wedding. The reason we bring it up is because Ayla and Rob haven't ordered their invitations yet (although Ayla was talking about it last night). The invitations are already designed (I created one for Ayla based on what she and Rob had for their theme, colors and what they love, and after a bit of tweaking, got it to exactly what they wanted), so now it's just a matter of ordering them.

When do you send out invitations? How much time do you give guests to respond? Traditionally, invitations for weddings are sent out six to eight weeks prior, unless it's a destination wedding. If the wedding is out of town, guests are given typically three months advance notice so they can make travel arrangements (although Save the Date cards can oftentimes prepare guests for scheduling travel time for a wedding). For Tone's friend's Oct. 17 wedding, they are giving their guests more than four months notice. It is out of state, so that gives guests plenty of time to respond. When you order invites, know that it takes several weeks sometimes for them to get to your home. Then you have to address and stamp them, so allow time for that.

The other thing important to note is the couple is having folks RSVP (respond) on their website. We have talked about this on April 13 that this is becoming an increasing trend so that the couple does not have to purchase extra stationary and postage for response cards. However, couples can have response cards if they'd like. I read on one site where if you use response cards, assign each guest card a number, so that if the handwriting on a response card is difficult to read, you can just check your list to see who has responded. The number also helps you decipher how many cards are have not returned. If you don't want to have a number written on the card, you can use invisible ink to do this. For another wedding we've been invited to recently, there was no response card to fill out nor website to respond to. Apparently a response wasn't necessary. Do not assume an unreturned card or someone not responding to a website is a regret. Contact those individuals to be sure. Folks tend to forget to respond.

RSVP dates are usually two to three weeks prior to the wedding because reception halls and caterers need a count of who all will attend. It also helps the couple when they put together a seating arrangement. For Anton's friend's wedding, the RSVP date was a full month and a half prior to the wedding. Ayla and Rob's is a month ahead of the wedding. Sometimes earlier response dates are set so that regrets can be filled with additional guests to fill a reception hall to max capacity.

The truth is advance notice isn't a bad idea. It does help folks with their planning (travel, vacation time and shopping for gifts). So don't hesitate to send out early if you so desire. Less than 130 days for Rob and Ayla's wedding! Getting excited!

Discussion: Based on the date and location of your wedding, when do you plan on sending out your invitations? How do you intend for guests to respond? What is your plan for contacting those who do not respond/ What date do you want guests to respond by?

Prayer: Father God, as we approach the date of Rob and Ayla's wedding, we are getting excited about sending out invitations and seeing who all will be able to come. Lord, we thank you in advance for the souls willing to travel for both weddings. Let is be a joyful celebration, Father! In Jesus, Amen.

Request The Honor Of Your Presence

Now that the Save the Dates have gone out, Ayla and Rob are in the process of searching for the perfect wedding invitation. They want one that reflects the theme and colors of their wedding, incorporates their personalities and is, of course, informative about the event, location, times, etc. In our day, invitations were pretty simple - white with words printed in the color of your event. We had RSVP cards with self-addressed stamped envelopes included and the ever present tissue paper (not quite sure what that was for). Nowadays, invitations are original and clever, depending on how much money you want to sink into them. I've seen invitations sent in bottles, engraved in wood, in a hardback book, as a box of chocolates, in a viewfinder and many more. And RSVP cards are not mandatory as people can respond via the couple's website. So there are all kinds of ways to invite folks to the wedding.

But if you want to know what you need to have on your invites, here's the scoop:

• The name of the hosts of the wedding goes at the top
• Date, day, time and location
• If there is a reception, indicate as such
• How to RSVP - card or online?

You can also include your information on your website, attire, maps, accommodations and menu choices for the reception.

You don't have to spell out everything ("two thousand fifteen") just as long as everything is consistent with words, numbers and abbreviations. You can "request the honor of your presence" or "invite you to the celebration of the marriage" or "request the pleasure of your company" ... whatever you like.

As for how to address them:

• Mr. and Mrs. for married couples. If their family is included ... "and family."
• For singles: Miss So-And-So and Guest
• For couples you know who aren't married, one after the other with an ampersand or stack the names.

Depending on the guest, you can also include activity information with the invitation such as - rehearsal dinner, bridal tea, farewell brunch or gift opening.

Keep in mind that if you have an invitation that is extra large, square or contains any envelope embellishments, you will need to pay extra postage.

Praying as you make your decision!

Discussion: What are some ideas you have for your invitations? What is important to be included?

Prayer: Father, you already know what the invitations will look like and who all will come. We give you glory and thank you in advance for all your blessings and the sweet souls who will participate! In Jesus, Amen.

Few Are Chosen

Great aunts and uncles? Coworkers? Childhood friends? Church friends? Cousins? Children? Guests' plus ones? Who makes the cut?

Making the guest list for a wedding can be daunting. You may want everyone you've ever met or loved to be there. You may want it to be more intimate. Regardless, trying to make and or tighten that list can be a tough thing to do, especially if parents or grandparents are making suggestions.

It's important to have an idea of how many folks you want there as you select your venue and make your budget, so after you've got that total number, divvying the list can be tricky. I have read some suggestions where the couple invite half and each set of parents invites a quarter. Or it's split up in thirds: couple and each side of the family. As for your Daddy and I, we're pretty chill. Any of our friends who are there, we want to be sure they are your friends also. If not, it doesn't really make much sense. I was flipping through invite returns from our wedding 27 years ago, and I didn't know half the names on the list, I kid you not. Have no clue who these people are. We do not want you both to have that issue. They should be people you love, enjoy and want to be there to witness first hand your nuptials.

Some wedding sites suggest having several lists. It's weird cause then you may be ranking those you love, but at least it helps you do some narrowing.One suggested having an A list and B list, mailing out your A list three months prior to the wedding,waiting to see who regrets and then mailing out B list invites. Another suggested having a tiered list (like a wedding cake) with an A, B, C and D list: A as family, B as close friends and extended family, C as friends, coworkers or neighbors and D as folks you'd like there but haven't seen in forever. Then work backwards and eliminate. Whatever system works for you, go for it.

As for attending, expect 20 percent not to attend of those invited. That number can jump as high as 50 percent for a destination wedding, according to what I have read.

From a biblical standpoint, there is one mention of a wedding guest list in the Bible, and that is in the wedding parable found in Matthew 22. It is a wedding banquet for the Son and his bride, the church. The invite list is an analogy to inviting first the Jews to salvation in Christ, then the Gentiles. Interestingly, many in the first group - the A list, if you will - would not come, so the Father of the Groom invites others until the hall is full. Then He finds a guest there not "clothed in Christ," so to speak, and that guest is escorted out. Christ says in verse 14: "For many are invited, but few are chosen." If you want to use that as a pattern, feel free. First the chosen, then the invited. Cool if they were all clothed in Christ. :)

There is really only one guest that is truly necessary (not counting the officiant), and that is the Father. As long as He is present in the Holy Spirit, you are good to go.

So we say, enjoy the process! Write down that list of folks that you just cannot see getting married without them being there, then work from there. We trust it will be a perfect, wonderful gathering of people who love you both so very much. And that's what counts.

Discussion: How is the guest list coming? Have you created a guest list hierarchy? Who are the folks you are wishy-washy about? Who are the chosen must-haves? Why is their attendance so important to you?

Prayer: Father God, we pray Your Holy Presence to be in attendance at Rob and Ayla's wedding next October, for that is of utmost importance. We thank you for people in their lives who mean so much to them and pray, Father, they will be able to attend this precious union. Guide their decisions. In the name of the most blessed Groom, Jesus, Amen.