Few Are Chosen

Great aunts and uncles? Coworkers? Childhood friends? Church friends? Cousins? Children? Guests' plus ones? Who makes the cut?

Making the guest list for a wedding can be daunting. You may want everyone you've ever met or loved to be there. You may want it to be more intimate. Regardless, trying to make and or tighten that list can be a tough thing to do, especially if parents or grandparents are making suggestions.

It's important to have an idea of how many folks you want there as you select your venue and make your budget, so after you've got that total number, divvying the list can be tricky. I have read some suggestions where the couple invite half and each set of parents invites a quarter. Or it's split up in thirds: couple and each side of the family. As for your Daddy and I, we're pretty chill. Any of our friends who are there, we want to be sure they are your friends also. If not, it doesn't really make much sense. I was flipping through invite returns from our wedding 27 years ago, and I didn't know half the names on the list, I kid you not. Have no clue who these people are. We do not want you both to have that issue. They should be people you love, enjoy and want to be there to witness first hand your nuptials.

Some wedding sites suggest having several lists. It's weird cause then you may be ranking those you love, but at least it helps you do some narrowing.One suggested having an A list and B list, mailing out your A list three months prior to the wedding,waiting to see who regrets and then mailing out B list invites. Another suggested having a tiered list (like a wedding cake) with an A, B, C and D list: A as family, B as close friends and extended family, C as friends, coworkers or neighbors and D as folks you'd like there but haven't seen in forever. Then work backwards and eliminate. Whatever system works for you, go for it.

As for attending, expect 20 percent not to attend of those invited. That number can jump as high as 50 percent for a destination wedding, according to what I have read.

From a biblical standpoint, there is one mention of a wedding guest list in the Bible, and that is in the wedding parable found in Matthew 22. It is a wedding banquet for the Son and his bride, the church. The invite list is an analogy to inviting first the Jews to salvation in Christ, then the Gentiles. Interestingly, many in the first group - the A list, if you will - would not come, so the Father of the Groom invites others until the hall is full. Then He finds a guest there not "clothed in Christ," so to speak, and that guest is escorted out. Christ says in verse 14: "For many are invited, but few are chosen." If you want to use that as a pattern, feel free. First the chosen, then the invited. Cool if they were all clothed in Christ. :)

There is really only one guest that is truly necessary (not counting the officiant), and that is the Father. As long as He is present in the Holy Spirit, you are good to go.

So we say, enjoy the process! Write down that list of folks that you just cannot see getting married without them being there, then work from there. We trust it will be a perfect, wonderful gathering of people who love you both so very much. And that's what counts.

Discussion: How is the guest list coming? Have you created a guest list hierarchy? Who are the folks you are wishy-washy about? Who are the chosen must-haves? Why is their attendance so important to you?

Prayer: Father God, we pray Your Holy Presence to be in attendance at Rob and Ayla's wedding next October, for that is of utmost importance. We thank you for people in their lives who mean so much to them and pray, Father, they will be able to attend this precious union. Guide their decisions. In the name of the most blessed Groom, Jesus, Amen.