Leave and Cleave

I was watching a Christmas show the other day on the Hallmark Channel (they always show them early) where a mom made this rhythmic comment, "A son leaves when he takes a wife; a daughter you will have for life." She was commenting that men, once they've found their bride, focus pretty much on their wife and may not visit home as much as a married daughter. It got me thinking about the future and how often we would be blessed to see our future married children. We know our children could live anywhere in the world and that we will always be close to them, but the reality is, your jobs take you sometimes far from home and that sure is a tough one for mamas to accept.

But the above comment is actually Biblical, at least the first part. Genesis 2:24 (KJV) says, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Leave and cleave. In other words, men can't cleave to mom and dad and their wife. You have to pick a side and it better be your spouse. While the same wording isn't used for wives, the wisdom is the same. When the two of you marry, you will each be your first priority (after God, of course).

Sometimes that break from parents can be difficult. If you've been close to your parents, not sharing everything that you previously did with them is a change and may take some getting used to. When Brad and I first married, anytime we had even the tiniest argument, the first person I wanted to call was my mom to complain, and for some people running off to mom or dad is a natural instinct. Thankfully we lived nearly 600 miles away and long-distance phone calls were way too expensive, so neither of us had anyone to run to. We had to fix it ourselves. We remember one argument we had on a snowy day in Murfreesboro, TN. We were walking and went in different directions. But realizing we had no one else to talk to or run to, we were right back with each other communicating and fixing the problem (following a pretty comical snowball fight).

While your parents will always be there for you for any advice, we also know to butt out. In the words of one of my friends, "They'll figure it out." This will be your relationship, your marriage, your problems, your challenges, your successes. And for the most part, you will find your way. Just remember to cleave to each other, because even the worst problems are solved together.

Discussion: Do you think it will be difficult to be on your own dealing with challenges or with each other? Do either of you have trouble not going to a parent or even a friend to ask for wisdom with your relationship? What might be a good strategy for you?

Prayer: We are so blessed that when we have issues, we can go to you, Lord! You know the best way we should handle all circumstances, and your Word is filled with wisdom for us. Thank you for guiding us. May we never let the sun go down on our anger (Eph. 4:26). In Jesus, Amen.