Deadly Firebrands Are No Joke

Yesterday was the Iron Bowl here in Alabama. It's the football rivalry game between Auburn and Alabama held just after Thanksgiving. It's a fiercely competitive game between the two universities and likewise between the fans. Shouts of War Eagle and Roll Tide are heard year round, but in abundance the day of the Iron Bowl. And sometimes barbs are exchanged between loyal fans, frequently with veiled hostility. I say veiled, because they say the nasty comments, but it's supposedly all in good fun and in support of their team. However, from an outsider's view, it can look pretty mean. And interestingly, oftentimes fans of the losing team will skip church for a few weeks until they get their courage back to face the winning team's fans. Those fans have 365 days of bragging rights ... a long painful year for the losers. In this state, it's good to be Switzerland.

Personally I don't like the nasty comments. Even if said out of loyalty to their own team, or addendum-ed with a "just kidding," nasty is nasty, plain and simple. How about instead of trash talk, fans just support their own team? Of course, based on our record during voting years, apparently trash talk is commonplace.

But there is no place for it in a marriage. None. No cut downs or criticisms for the sake of being mean, neither in private nor in public. Words once spoke are out there dangling. Psalm 34:13 says: "Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit." Proverbs 12:18 says "Rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." And Proverbs 26:18-19 says, "Like a maniac who shoots deadly firebrands and arrows, so is one who deceives a neighbor and says, 'I am only joking!'”

I am not sure why people resort to mudslinging and hurtful quips when angry or confronted. It may be insecurity, low-self esteem or a desire to intimidate, but there truly is no place for insults in any situation let alone marriage. Be wise enough to express what you disagree with without punctuating your comments with name-calling or verbal slams. James 1:26 says: "If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless." If we consider ourselves Christians and God-fearers, then to be legit, we need to make sure our words reflect that. Christ says in Matthew 12:36: "I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” And Proverbs 15:28 says "The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things." Be sure your words justify you as faithful, wise and righteous. You will have far more integrity and respect by believers, non-believers and spouses alike.

Hawk Nelson sang of the importance of good speech in their 2013 hit, "Words." The chorus says this:

"Words can build you up
Words can break you down
Start a fire in your heart or
Put it out
Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don't wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You"

May all your words point the world to our all-loving Creator. 

Discussion: Have you found during arguments that either of you will slip into cut downs? How do you intend to combat such verbal slip ups?

Prayer: Lord, we want to show the love we have for you through our speech to others. Father, forgive us for those times when we speak before we think or intentionally say things to hurt another. Let us instead speak truth in love, build one another up and glorify You. In Jesus, Amen.