With This Ring

I'll never forget when our photographer was taking a picture of our rings against my bouquet on our wedding day and he ironically said, "Smile." I think of that every time I see that picture. We did smile, and giggle at that.

Rings are an important part of the wedding ceremony. Some say the tradition dates back to the Egyptians thousands of years ago. Putting a ring on the finger to the right of the pinkie on the left hand is a tradition for Christians, some say, that dates back to the 9th century A.D. (and then only the wives ... men didn't start wearing them until the 1900's). That "ring finger" was selected because people believed a vein or artery ran straight from it to the heart. The ring's circular shape symbolized eternity. In some countries, married couples wear the ring on the right hand. And in Jewish weddings, the ring is on the index finger. From a biblical standpoint, the only engagement jewelry mentioned is the nose ring given to Rebekah when Isaac was to marry her. Praise God that isn't the wedding tradition we follow.

A wedding ring is a symbol of a covenant, something you see God using over and over again in the Bible: a rainbow for a promise, a star for new born King, bread and wine for redemption. How appropriate that weddings have a symbol as well.

Since it is a piece of jewelry you wear forever, it is fun to pick out a special one. We know that Rob got a wedding ring with Ayla's engagement ring, and that Ayla is currently searching for that perfect wedding ring for Rob. My wedding band is a ring of tiny diamonds. Brad always wanted rubies in his ring because he admired a ruby ring his Great Uncle Louie Zimanek wore. Inside Brad's ring, our wedding date and the sign language symbol for "I love you" is engraved. Brad can't get his ring off his finger after all these years, but I once got close and looked under to see if the engraving had wore off. It is still there.

On our 15th anniversary when Brad surprised me with a vow renewal ceremony, he had a ring given to me by my Grandma Elizabeth Swain repaired to use for the vows. It's a gold wedding band with diamonds and sapphires worn by my Great-Great Grandmother Matilda Cornwall. The band was hollow and cracked, so your Daddy had it filled and repaired. That ring will some day go to your first daughter. For our vow renewal, Daddy used Great Uncle Louie's ring that Great Aunt Sophie gave him after Louie passed away. That ring is the one your brother plans to use when he gets married. We put those rings on our right hands at our vow renewal ceremony and mine has been there ever since, sitting next to the white gold wedding band my father gave my mother back in 1963. So lots of tradition on these fingers.

There is one other wedding band I have. It's a size 6 very thin gold band. I bought it when I got pregnant with Ayla. My size 4½ rings were too small when I was pregnant, but I didn't want to go without a ring, so I wore the larger ring for both pregnancies. Daddy recited vows when putting it on me, it was that important.

Rings are material and symbolic. While their value is based on the metal they are made of and gems embedded, their spiritual value stems from the meaning we give them. A token of unending love, a sign of commitment, a promise for a lifetime. "With this ring, I thee wed,' the vows state. It serves as a symbol that the marriage is permanent. The exact words we used were, "This ring I give you, in token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love." May your rings be a forever reminder of a forever love.

Discussion: Are there particular vows you would like to say when exchanging rings? What does a wedding ring mean to you?

Prayer: Father, we know that You used many symbols in sealing promises and we thank You for Your example. We pray we can look on our symbols as you do ... everlasting. In Jesus name, Amen. 

Three Strands

On our anniversary several nights ago you both asked Daddy if he would officiate your wedding. He is truly so excited about this opportunity. I think originally he just wanted to be the Father of the Bride and walk his baby girl down the aisle. But I spoke to him one night about it, telling him that his relationship with both of you would give him such a precious personal connection when you are united in Christ in this three-strand marriage.

I think that is something many couples forget when they get married. They think they are being united together in a contract with just each other. But that is only 2/3rds true. A marriage is a contract between the two of you and God.

You are vowing before God to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part. And when you make a vow to God, it's solid and unbreakable. Christ's exact words in both Matthew 19:6 and Mark 10:9 were "What God has joined together, let no man separate." God will do the joining. Your Daddy may officiate, but God will do the bonding, so much so that Christ prior to the above statement says this "They will become one flesh so that they are no longer two, but one flesh." That's one heck of a bond.

So we say three-strands, like a braid: the two of you and God. And God takes those vows seriously. Think about every promise God has made in Scripture. He promised Noah via a rainbow that He would never destroy the world again by flood. He promised Abraham that He would make him a great nation. He promised Moses the Israelites would be freed from Egypt. He promised Joshua he would go with him wherever he went as he led the Hebrews into the Promised Land. And he promised us a Redeemer to save us from our sins. And God never, ever went back on His promises, praise His name. Knowing that, He holds His children to the same standards. He says in Numbers 30:2 "If a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth." And in Ecclesiastes 5:4: "When you make a vow to God, do not delay to fulfill it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to make a vow than to make one and not fulfill it."  It is comforting to know, as it says in Ecclesiates 4:12: " A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." There is strength there, knowing our Father is woven in that cord.

Interestingly, you both were betrothed on the Grand Strand in South Carolina. What perfect symbolism, as our Father is certainly the Grand Strand in what will be this marriage of not just two, but three. And you will have those invited to the marriage to witness it, those standing with you as groomsmen and bridesmaids to hold you accountable, your Daddy to bless it all ... and your Father in Heaven holding the contract. Praying for your everlasting, ever-loving marriage ahead.

Discussion: How much weight do you put on your marriage vows? What are things you can do to make sure you both stick to these vows you will make to each other before God.

Prayer: Praise you, Lord God, for keeping the promises You have made to us. Let that be our example as to how we are to regard promises we make. Thank you, Lord, in advance for the witnesses who will watch this union. We pray they will do their part in praying for and uplifting this marriage. And we thank you for the strength of three strands. In Jesus name, Amen.