Happy Wedding Day ... A Doubly Blessed Day!

This is it. This is the day! First off, "this is the day that the Lord has made, and we will rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24). But we have an even greater reason to rejoice in it, for today our daughter will become Mrs. Robert Goggin!

This celebration has been more than a year in the making, starting with an engagement on the shore of the Atlantic Ocean in Garden City Beach, South Carolina. After ring purchasing, dress hunting, date selecting, venue picking, decoration buying, shoe shopping, flower perusing, tux sizing, gift registering, invitation designing, ceremony scheduling, music choosing, vow writing and so much more, there is little left to do except enjoy! You both will have plenty going on this day, and will be surrounded by all the family and friends you love (and some family and new friends you've not met yet) to celebrate one of the greatest days of your life. So breathe in and breathe out. Relax. Take in every single - and married - moment. Remember how you feel this day. Remember the love you feel right this very minute for your beloved. Remember the expressions on each other's faces the first time you see one another. Remember the faces of those who have traveled from so many different places to witness this special event and then party with you to commemorate it. We are thrilled for you, Rob and Ayla, on this day. We know a few tears will be shed, but not tears of sadness, not even the slightest bit of sadness. For this day God the Father will take two souls and make them one! He will intertwine your lives as only He can do, bless you both and watch with pride as His precious children, designed for one another, unite before Him. And that brings the greatest tears of all ... complete and perfect joy.

We love you both so very much. And know you may not even read this until this day has passed. We have shared all we can think to share with you both about marriage and weddings. Now, it's up to you. You will have this to look back on, should you need a reminder of the words spoken here. Just pop your subject in the newly added search box and posts will pop up to help you out with that issue. This is our gift to you. We never wanted to say that we didn't tell you everything we possible could to prepare you for this special day.
 
On this date 28 years ago, we said our I do's to one another. My Dad whispered in my ear just as he was about to escort my 22-year-old self down the aisle: "How about we surprise them all and skip." Now, I wish we would have, but his suggestion made me giggle and relaxed me just before that momentous procession. And there at the end was your breathtaking Daddy. God did a beautiful thing that day bringing us together. We have had quite a journey in our marriage, and we've shared a lot of it here. While we celebrate the beginning of your marriage today, we celebrate the anniversary of ours. For us it is, and now will ever be, a doubly blessed day.

May the Lord bless your wedding day. May the Lord bless your honeymoon. May the Lord bless your marriage. May the Lord bless your adventures together. And may the Lord bless your future family. Remember that it's all about Him and you are good to go.

Now we gotta get ready. We have some celebrating to do! Happy Blessed Wedding Day!

Discussion: What are you thinking about in anticipation of this day? As the day comes to an end, what moments stand out for you? How was God glorified in this day?

Prayer: Heavening Father, creator of marriage, we praise your name. We thank you for 365 ideas for our children as they prepared for marriage. Father we ask for your presence here on this day. May your Holy Spirit fill our children from head to toe. We pray you are glorified. It is in Jesus name we pray, Amen.

Lost In The Shuffle

I watched a movie Thursday that I never thought I'd watch a second time ... the 2008 film Sex In The City. Never a fan of the series, I have caught enough of it in passing to know who's who and have the gist of the show. But I had seen the movie years ago. I watched it again on TV for one scene ... the scene where Carrie is jilted at the altar. Not for that specific part, but because I love the way Kristin Davis as Charlotte protects Carrie from Big's attempt at an apology in the middle of the street. I think it is raw and emotional and well played. I could have just watched that part of the movie and turned it off, but I was rolling coins from our change jar into wrappers, so the movie was a good diversion during the mundane task. It was then I noticed something that I thought could be important to discuss here. Big left Carrie at the altar because he got lost in the wedding preparations. Now while there is no excuse for Big's actions, there is something to be said for the reason.

Planning for a wedding can be all encompassing and stressful. Girls want the pageantry, glitz and big ceremony. They want to be princess for the day, swept off their feet by their prince and to shout to the world, "We're married!" And there is so much to prepare from the dress, to the wedding party, to the ceremony, to the reception details. Couples can get so wrapped up in the planning of the celebration, they forget what the celebrating is all about.

This ceremony is about uniting before God. It is a worship service. While some will make it a civil service, the truth of the matter is that marriage was created by the Creator. So to promise "to have and to hold" is done before Him. The rest is fluff and tradition invented over the years. So while some of it may seem important, honestly it isn't.

So don't stress out over it. And don't lose yourselves and the love you have for each other in the midst of it. Have fun. Consult one another about what each of you wants to happen during this celebration and respect each other's ideas.

Big and Carrie in the movie reconcile, and even marry, repeating the mantra "Me and you, just us two." We'd like you to remember that it's not just the two of you. It's you and God. That's the most important part of all. Keep that first, give that day to Him, and the rest will be a beautiful celebration to His glory.

Discussion: Has the planning for the wedding become stressful at all? Do you sometimes lose what the ceremony is truly about? What can you do for each other to remember what this wedding is truly for?

Prayer: Father, we thank You for the gift of marriage and that You will bear witness to this greatest of decisions made by couples. Lord, we pray in the preparations of the day, these betrothed will not lose sight of You through it all. In Christ, Amen.

Fidelitas

Last night, Gaga showed me an old white photo album with black construction paper pages. She asked me if I wanted it. Inside was a bunch of square-shaped, color photos, some faded with age, all tacked to the page by tiny mounting corners. They were pictures of my Mom and Dad's wedding and honeymoon. Precious photos of a bride who looked a little nervous; of a young crew-cut groom with the hugest smile; and then pictures of the two of them exploring New York City and Cape Cod together. They looked like they were having so much fun. So much anticipation and excitement for the adventure ahead.

I asked Gaga if she had any advice for you both in marriage and this is what she said, "I would say that trustworthiness is the number one priority. It's the most important thing. I had so much confidence in my vows. That is how I meant it to be. The commitment to those vows and to the Lord would fill me with tears knowing how much I wanted to be faithful to them. It was the same way I felt at each of you kid's christenings, making those vows to God about raising you to love Him and trusting He would always be there for you and would teach me to raise you. That trust is so important. To me trust in a marriage is the same as trusting in the Lord."

God never breaks promises. Ever. Everything He promised in Scripture He has made good on (or is yet to come). He promised He would never leave us or forsake us. He promised to redeem us. He promised to make our paths straight. He promised to send us the Holy Spirit. We have trusted in Him and He is faithful.

Trust is an important element in marriage. Husbands and wives trust that they will remain committed to the vows they make on their wedding day. And the reason they trust in them is because those vows are made before the Creator of the Universe. If the Creator does not go back on His promises, then we, as His obedient children are commanded to do likewise. It's what proves we are His.

Be honest with each other. Communicate. Stay obedient to the Father. Do not under any circumstance trust yourself. If you trust yourself, you will  most certainly fail. Scripture says in Proverbs 28:26, "He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe." Trust in the wisdom of the Lord. Trust in His Word. And be obedient to it ... to love and to cherish from that day forward till death do you part.

Discussion: How important is trust to you both? Do you feel you can trust each other to be obedient to the Lord? How rock solid are marriage vows to you both?

Prayer: We thank you, Father, that You are trustworthy. We thank You for Your Law. Lord, help us to remain trustworthy. We love you so much. In Jesus, Amen.

Blunders & Bloopers

Recently a friend posted a video of a couple exchanging vows at their ceremony. The pastor asked the groom to repeat after him. He got to the part "to be my lawfully wedded wife" and the groom accidentally said, "to be my waff, lawfully..." He caught him self and then added, "and pancaky" setting his bride into a fit of giggles. He commented to the congregation "I've been scared of this my whole life" then asked the folks to give his bride a minute to to collect herself from all the laughing. It was cute, precious and priceless. I looked up that video recently and noticed it had been viewed nearly 7 million times. What was an innocent slip of the tongue - an error in the planned perfect wedding, if you will - ended up being a hilarious memory of their wedding. (You can see it here.)

There are videos that show the most epic wedding fails ever. Many are cake-tastrophies where the cake falls, is knocked over or dropped. Others are photo blunders, like the bride and groom getting wiped out by waves on a beach during a photo shoot. Several groomsmen pants fall to the ground in come clips, and in another a bride steps on the hem of her dress, tearing the bottom half off completely. (Lesson there - make sure you have on appropriate undergarments!) 

At our reception, our cake had a row of candles that climbed up the layers to the top where a beautiful bouquet sat. Right after Daddy and I cut the cake, the top candle set the bouquet on fire! It was put out pretty fast, thankfully. Again, an unfortunate event in an otherwise perfectly planned wedding.

Something will inevitably go wrong. You will work very hard to make sure all the pieces for the wedding are in place, hoping that all will be perfect, but we guarantee you something may not go just as you planned. Aside from a tragedy, the minor blunder or error, we hope, will be something you can giggle about and won't interfere with your celebration. Part of it will be to not take everything too seriously. I mean, the ceremony and reception are put on by humans, so there are going to be mistakes.

My father always says, "Expect the best, but prepare for the worst." That way if anything does go awry, you will be mentally prepared at least. And you can't possibly anticipate what could go wrong, but if you remember to proceed in grace, you should be okay.

We just hope you can relax and enjoy the day in spite of any slip ups. And pray the memories of the day will be sweet ones!

Discussion: Do you know of any wedding blunders? Ask your friends who've married recently if anything went wrong at their wedding. Is there anything you are worried about going wrong during your special day? How can you prevent or prepare for it?

Prayer: Father, we want the wedding on Oct. 16, 2015 to be perfect from beginning to end, but know realistically things could go wrong. We ask for grace to handle the day as it comes, but do pray for your blessing on every moment in it. In Jesus, Amen.

Celebrating Year-After-Year

27th anniversary

This morning your Daddy and I will be returning from our anniversary trip. Yes, our anniversary was last week, but with Daddy's work schedule of late, this was the earliest the two of us could get away for a couple of days. And we needed it.

You know very well that your father and I make sure we disappear for even just a couple of days every year on our anniversary (which is tricky since it falls in the middle of football season each year). But that is how important celebrating our wedding date is to us. We want to be focused on just each other, the same way it was 27 years ago.

1st anniversary

See, we hear about married couples all the time who just acknowledge their wedding anniversary. No celebration. No gift. No meal. No flowers. No card even. Just sad. But your Dad and I wanted to make sure we remembered that it was that wedding date that we solemnly promised our Father we would be together throughout this lifetime. And we wanted to make sure we celebrated it big. Sometimes we would even get each other a special gift, but not always, because our trip away was our gift to each other.

When you kids were little, we might only be able to get out for a fancy meal, show or one night away. But any chance we got, we would get a sitter and disappear to be together. As you got older we tried to get away for a couple of days. And we made memories in Door County, the Smoky Mountains, the Caribbean, state parks, gardens, Mackinac Island and most recently various gulf coast beaches. We wanted you and Anton to know that after God, we came first to each other.

18th anniversary

Something else we have always done when we went on these trips was search for a church. We would renew our wedding vows before God in these hallowed places to reaffirm what we promised that wedding day. And you know we've had vow renewal ceremonies twice at both our 15th and 25th anniversaries.

Next year, your Daddy and I are taking an anniversary trip to Anna Maria Island in Florida where we plan on watching you both exchange vows. We pray this date becomes as special and beautiful for you both as it has been for us and that you will take time, make time, to make it important, holy and honored every single year. That means taking off work, prioritizing and, in the future, leaving the kids at home.

By the way, when you both head off on your honeymoon next year, don't be surprised if we also sneak off afterwards to be alone. It's our anniversary after all.

13th anniversary

Discussion: What are some ways you can keep your wedding date special in future years? How would you like to celebrate?

Prayer: Father, we know that special dates and celebrations are holy to you, as you have set specific feasts and celebrations throughout Scripture (Lev. 23:44). Thank you that we can remember this holy day as well, a time when you joined us as one. We love you so much and thank you for each other. We pray Rob and Ayla will remember to honor their wedding date, vows and each other every single year in some special way. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Three Strands

On our anniversary several nights ago you both asked Daddy if he would officiate your wedding. He is truly so excited about this opportunity. I think originally he just wanted to be the Father of the Bride and walk his baby girl down the aisle. But I spoke to him one night about it, telling him that his relationship with both of you would give him such a precious personal connection when you are united in Christ in this three-strand marriage.

I think that is something many couples forget when they get married. They think they are being united together in a contract with just each other. But that is only 2/3rds true. A marriage is a contract between the two of you and God.

You are vowing before God to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part. And when you make a vow to God, it's solid and unbreakable. Christ's exact words in both Matthew 19:6 and Mark 10:9 were "What God has joined together, let no man separate." God will do the joining. Your Daddy may officiate, but God will do the bonding, so much so that Christ prior to the above statement says this "They will become one flesh so that they are no longer two, but one flesh." That's one heck of a bond.

So we say three-strands, like a braid: the two of you and God. And God takes those vows seriously. Think about every promise God has made in Scripture. He promised Noah via a rainbow that He would never destroy the world again by flood. He promised Abraham that He would make him a great nation. He promised Moses the Israelites would be freed from Egypt. He promised Joshua he would go with him wherever he went as he led the Hebrews into the Promised Land. And he promised us a Redeemer to save us from our sins. And God never, ever went back on His promises, praise His name. Knowing that, He holds His children to the same standards. He says in Numbers 30:2 "If a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth." And in Ecclesiastes 5:4: "When you make a vow to God, do not delay to fulfill it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to make a vow than to make one and not fulfill it."  It is comforting to know, as it says in Ecclesiates 4:12: " A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." There is strength there, knowing our Father is woven in that cord.

Interestingly, you both were betrothed on the Grand Strand in South Carolina. What perfect symbolism, as our Father is certainly the Grand Strand in what will be this marriage of not just two, but three. And you will have those invited to the marriage to witness it, those standing with you as groomsmen and bridesmaids to hold you accountable, your Daddy to bless it all ... and your Father in Heaven holding the contract. Praying for your everlasting, ever-loving marriage ahead.

Discussion: How much weight do you put on your marriage vows? What are things you can do to make sure you both stick to these vows you will make to each other before God.

Prayer: Praise you, Lord God, for keeping the promises You have made to us. Let that be our example as to how we are to regard promises we make. Thank you, Lord, in advance for the witnesses who will watch this union. We pray they will do their part in praying for and uplifting this marriage. And we thank you for the strength of three strands. In Jesus name, Amen.