Happy Wedding Day ... A Doubly Blessed Day!

This is it. This is the day! First off, "this is the day that the Lord has made, and we will rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24). But we have an even greater reason to rejoice in it, for today our daughter will become Mrs. Robert Goggin!

This celebration has been more than a year in the making, starting with an engagement on the shore of the Atlantic Ocean in Garden City Beach, South Carolina. After ring purchasing, dress hunting, date selecting, venue picking, decoration buying, shoe shopping, flower perusing, tux sizing, gift registering, invitation designing, ceremony scheduling, music choosing, vow writing and so much more, there is little left to do except enjoy! You both will have plenty going on this day, and will be surrounded by all the family and friends you love (and some family and new friends you've not met yet) to celebrate one of the greatest days of your life. So breathe in and breathe out. Relax. Take in every single - and married - moment. Remember how you feel this day. Remember the love you feel right this very minute for your beloved. Remember the expressions on each other's faces the first time you see one another. Remember the faces of those who have traveled from so many different places to witness this special event and then party with you to commemorate it. We are thrilled for you, Rob and Ayla, on this day. We know a few tears will be shed, but not tears of sadness, not even the slightest bit of sadness. For this day God the Father will take two souls and make them one! He will intertwine your lives as only He can do, bless you both and watch with pride as His precious children, designed for one another, unite before Him. And that brings the greatest tears of all ... complete and perfect joy.

We love you both so very much. And know you may not even read this until this day has passed. We have shared all we can think to share with you both about marriage and weddings. Now, it's up to you. You will have this to look back on, should you need a reminder of the words spoken here. Just pop your subject in the newly added search box and posts will pop up to help you out with that issue. This is our gift to you. We never wanted to say that we didn't tell you everything we possible could to prepare you for this special day.
 
On this date 28 years ago, we said our I do's to one another. My Dad whispered in my ear just as he was about to escort my 22-year-old self down the aisle: "How about we surprise them all and skip." Now, I wish we would have, but his suggestion made me giggle and relaxed me just before that momentous procession. And there at the end was your breathtaking Daddy. God did a beautiful thing that day bringing us together. We have had quite a journey in our marriage, and we've shared a lot of it here. While we celebrate the beginning of your marriage today, we celebrate the anniversary of ours. For us it is, and now will ever be, a doubly blessed day.

May the Lord bless your wedding day. May the Lord bless your honeymoon. May the Lord bless your marriage. May the Lord bless your adventures together. And may the Lord bless your future family. Remember that it's all about Him and you are good to go.

Now we gotta get ready. We have some celebrating to do! Happy Blessed Wedding Day!

Discussion: What are you thinking about in anticipation of this day? As the day comes to an end, what moments stand out for you? How was God glorified in this day?

Prayer: Heavening Father, creator of marriage, we praise your name. We thank you for 365 ideas for our children as they prepared for marriage. Father we ask for your presence here on this day. May your Holy Spirit fill our children from head to toe. We pray you are glorified. It is in Jesus name we pray, Amen.

As Far As It Depends On You

Today there will be a lot of folks posting pictures of the Twin Towers in NYC on social media. For anyone who was around on this date in 2001, it matters to us all. Like our grandparents before us who remember where they were during the attack of Pearl Harbor, we remember vividly where we were when we heard a plane crashed into the World Trade Center North Tower. We remember watching the television in horror and disbelief as a second plane hit the South Tower. We were under attack, and we all knew it in that moment. And it scared us. War was brought to our homeland. And our country changed forever. Our economy, our security, our trust and our patriotism were forever altered by those events. Regardless of our backgrounds, we all had a common enemy. Regardless of our relationships, we all were brokenhearted. We wept for our lost Americans in New York City, Washington, D.C. and Pennsylvania. We saw their faces and we heard their names. The phrase, "Let's roll," became a battle cry. We prayed for our emergency responders. We prayed for our president. We prayed for the families of the lost. It took only moments, but its effects linger these fourteen years later. We will never forget.

What does this have to do with marriage, you ask? It shows how in the blink of an eye your situation can change. It reaffirms what should be your goal as a couple: to delight in the moments you have with your loved ones. Because they are fleeting. It reminds you that you are His, in His care and serving His children as if they were your own.

My sweet darlings, our prayer is you will never, ever see something like that again in your lifetimes. That your children will live in a world of peace and love, empathy and forgiveness, grace and caring. The chance of that, based on our history and sinful natures, is not good. But we'll be praying for it nonetheless. Romans 12:18 says, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

Strive to love each other passionately, deeply and sacrificially. Delight in your moments together. These are precious times. Regardless of the number of minutes, days or years you have, those times together are such a gift. Enjoy them. And remember that truly, we are all one huge family on this planet with one amazing Father God. Remember to love those family members as such.

I have a friend whose only child, a son, was born on this date in 2001. While the world was changing, a sweet face entered it. While she remembers what happened in our country that day, she sees in her son, the hope of our future. And while there may be heartache in that future, there will be joy, too. Seek it.

We have learned a lot as a nation and as people since this date in 2001. Praying it pushes us, inspires us, warns us and softens us. And praying it's enough.


Discussion: What do you remember about 9-11? Did you learn anything as a result of it? Do you think Americans have?

Prayer: Bless us, O Lord, for we have heavy hearts when we remember what happened on this date. We see, Lord, our failings and, Father, the moments of joy and blessings in the midst of it. Lord, we thank you for never leaving us. And we thank you for being our God in control of everything. May all come to know and love you and love your children. In Christ, Amen.

Let The Faithful Correct Me

I was getting ready to print individual pages of a document and when typing in which numbered pages I wanted printed, I accidentally typed a letter instead of a number. A warning popped up which said, "Unacceptable character." It caught me off guard at first because I didn't know what I had done to get the warning, but then I chuckled when I thought how interesting it would be if that popped up when our personality flaws reared their ugly heads. You know, when we say that cuss word we shouldn't have. When we gossip. When we're jealous. When we selfishly put ourselves before others. When we lie. When we have a short fuse. When we're impatient. The list goes on. During those moments, we could hear a whisper in our ear: "Unacceptable character."

The things is, we know what unacceptable character is. God tells us what the acceptable character traits are: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, generosity and self-control. Those are the fruits of the Spirit as explained by Paul in Galatians 5:22. But sometimes those unacceptable things slip out before we think. In Psalm 141:3 it says, "Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. Do not turn my heart to any evil." And later in that Psalm in verse 5, "Let the faithful correct me." So if you have a brother or sister in Christ offering you counsel, lean in, listen, repent and implement.

Set yourself to a higher standard. We are God's children and therefore should behave as such. It's better if we catch ourselves and change before others do the intervening. And the best way to stay on top of that is to be in the Word. Be in prayer. Examine our ways against the ways of Christ. The only way you know what Godly behavior is if you read what God says it is. 

Be especially cautious to be of good character with your betrothed. Often we take advantage of that relationship, and they don't deserve it. Don't they deserve the very best part of you? So be sure your character reflects the Lord of love.

Discussion: What are some character traits you need to work on? What would help prevent you from slipping into bad character habits?

Prayer: Lord God, you showed us through your son Jesus how we are to behave. We pray, Father, that we imitate Him and show people through our behavior that we belong to you. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Sing Praises! Sing Praises!

The other day I was hanging a shadow box I made for your Daddy in his newly redesigned man cave/office. The shadow box is heavy, thus has two hooks on the back for hanging. I typically hate hanging these particular pieces of artwork because you need to measure the distance from the top of the frame to the hook and the distance between the hooks to level the frame ... which for me more often the not requires a second time for correction after the nails have already been pounded in. Then you have to hope the hooks can catch on each nail perfectly. So here I am hanging something way above my height, trying to get these hooks to catch ... and they just won't. Over and over I'm lifting the heavy frame attempting this, sometimes getting one to catch, sometimes it catching and pulling the nail out of the wall. I was already uncomfortable with the height and weight of what I was doing and getting increasingly frustrated, then angry. And that's when I looked over to my right and saw there an engraved wooden copy of the lyrics to How Great Thou Art hanging on the wall. So I started to sing the song out loud. I felt a peace come over me that can only be explained by the Holy Spirit. Singing praise to my Father in heaven during this frustrating experience, calmed and centered me ... and the shadow box hooked right on. Yeah, it wasn't level, so I had to redo it, but it didn't matter. I was praising God in the midst of it.

When we are in the heat of circumstances that frustrate us, if we immediately went in prayer or burst into glorious songs of praise, we might have far fewer arguments, outbursts and failures. There is something overpowering about songs of praise, and the Bible is chock full of them. They are called Psalms. Every time I come across a Psalm with the word "sing" in it or "praise," I underline it. Working for a Christian radio station, I love to see those words in Scripture, as that is what the artists do on The River. Matter of fact, many of the songs we hear on The River come directly from Psalms.

• "From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised." Psalm 113 and Sing Your Praise To The Lord by Rich Mullins.
• "For great is your love, higher than the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies." Psalm 108 and Your Love O Lord by Third Day.
• "Praise the Lord, O my soul. O Lord my God, you are very great." Psalm 104:1 and How Great Is Our God by Chris Tomlin.
• "Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise His holy name." Psalm 103 and 10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman.
• "Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth, burst into jubilant song with music." Psalm 98:4 and Shout To The Lord by Darlene Zschech.
• "O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!" Psalm 8:1 and How Majestic Is Your Name by Michael W. Smith.

And those are just a few. You want to be uplifted in spirit? Go to the Psalms. Searching for just the right words to be in praise to the Father? The Psalms have that. Even looking for words of prayer? Yep, the Psalms are your go-to place. Let that be where your soul goes in times of struggle, frustration, sorrow and anger ... singing in praise to the One True God. When the two of you get into an argument, perhaps one can start to sing in glory of our Father. Imagine how quickly the argument will come to an end!

"I will praise the Lord all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live." Psalm 146:2
Amen and amen.

Discussion: What is your favorite praise song? Is there a time when you were frustrated and a song to God brought you peace? Do you have a favorite Psalm?

Prayer: Father, how good it is to sing praises to you. (Psalm 147:1). I will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness. (Psalm 145:7). I will sing you a new song of praise. (Psalm 149:1). I will give thanks to you for you are good! (Psalm 106:1) I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High." (Psalm 9:1-2). In the sweet name of Jesus, Amen.

Infectious Character

Recently Daddy and I spent some time with a couple who were not getting along. The bitterness, snippiness and arguing was getting wearisome. While it exhausted the two of us, that wasn't the worst thing to come out of the encounter. After visiting with them, Daddy and I started snipping at each other. In the middle of this, I commented to your Daddy, "Whatever demon was egging them on, was infectious and is taking a turn at us. We need to stop this right now." We took a step back from the ridiculous conversation we were having and realized the attitude of our friends was rubbing off on us. It was a lesson for us on many levels.

First, to be choosy about who you hang out with. Be sure to spend time with friends who are encouraging, uplifting and make wise choices. Who you spend time with will certainly affect your behavior. If you hang around people who are negative, argumentative, gossipy, bossy or unsupportive, it can be influential in your own relationships. Yes, you can be the shining light for them, but you want to be careful they aren't bringing you down instead. And second, that there truly was a lying demon at work doing some whispering and persuading to try to get Daddy and I pick at one another. We know this because the arguments were ridiculous, unfounded and such a waste of time. It was the only explanation that made sense. When you look at situations from a spiritual perspective, you can see it from a more holy and wise place. Like our post on July 6 about our battles against the "spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 6:12), we knew this situation was of that ilk. It just had an evil feel about it.

So first examine yourself. What is your demeanor? Are you joyful? Are you encouraging? Are you empathetic? Are you kind? If you can answer those questions positively, then take a look at the people you are spending the majority of your time with. Ask those same questions of them. If you get negatives about any of those, perhaps you needn't spend as much time with them. You can, of course, start praying for them that their attitude change. The Bible has many verses about selecting companionship carefully. Proverbs 12:26 says, "The righteous gives good advice to friends, but the way of the wicked leads astray." Proverbs 13:20 says, "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools suffers harm." Proverbs 22:24-25 say, "Make no friends with those given to anger, and do not associate with hotheads,or you may learn their ways and entangle yourself in a snare." 1 Corinthians 15:33 says, "Do not be deceived: 'Bad company ruins good character.'”

The righteous is a guide to his neighbor, But the way of the wicked leads them astray. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Choosing-Friends#sthash.NvfWhpNU.dpuf

The righteous is a guide to his neighbor, But the way of the wicked leads them astray. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Choosing-Friends#sthash.NvfWhpNU.dpuf

The righteous is a guide to his neighbor, But the way of the wicked leads them astray. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Choosing-Friends#sthash.NvfWhpNU.dpuf

The righteous is a guide to his neighbor, But the way of the wicked leads them astray. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Choosing-Friends#sthash.NvfWhpNU.dpuf

The righteous is a guide to his neighbor, But the way of the wicked leads them astray. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Choosing-Friends#sthash.NvfWhpNU.dpuf

Surround yourself with high caliber people. And even better, people who love Jesus Christ and are obedient to His Word. People who are happily married and with good communications skills. People who speak well of their spouse or significant other. People who love first. Because just as the ugly is infectious, so is the beautiful. And that makes our relationships so much more blessed.

Discussion: Share a time when the attitude of someone you were spending time -whether good or bad - with rubbed off on you. Are there any friends you spend time with who are not beneficial to your emotional well being?

Prayer: Lord we thank You for the sweet friendships in our lives. Those who love us and whose attitudes are examples of goodness. We pray we will be picky about who we spend too much time with that they will be encouraging to us as we are to them. In Christ we pray, Amen.

The Game of Life

Last weekend, Daddy, Anton, Kayla and I played a couple games of Life. You remember the board game: Little plastic cars, pink and blue peg people, paper money, and - in our case - a spinner that wobbled and never quite spun smoothly around. Anton won almost every single game we played. His strategy: skip college, get stock and buy all the insurance you can.

With this board game you draw from two decks of cards for a career and salary. If you have a college degree, you can choose three and pick the best. You sometimes land on a space which allows you to trade salaries with any player. You get married, buy a house, have children and go along the winding path of life through all the travails and successes the journey brings. And when you retire, you end up on some estate surrounded by piles of money. Ahhhh, yes, just like real life.

Obviously that last bit was sarcasm. Not everyone ends up in the lap of luxury in their golden years. Daddy instead likes to call it the "laugh of luxury" as in it's a big joke. You may be blessed financially, but you may also be like the majority of the world and work paycheck to paycheck for a living. But the game is pretty accurate with regards to the spin of the wheel. You just never know what space you're are going to land on. Sometimes there is a fork in the road and you can pick which way you want to go. And sometimes you land on a space that takes a chunk of change out of those stock piles. You just never know what may come your way.

And honestly that's the way of it. Daddy and I have had some bizarre things happen in our marriage. The filled septic tank that backed up into our Georgia basement. Our grease-filled pipes and the drive-by shooting in Tennessee. Car accidents. Medical emergencies. Making new friends. Betrayals by old ones. Those many job and location changes with their salary ups and downs. Plus awards, adventurous vacations, unique pets, grief, mission trips and precious children. It's been a wild ride.

There is no happily ever after. I don't want to pop your Disney fairytale balloon, but it will not always be happy. It will not always be successful or profitable. It will not always be sunshine and roses. But we will tell you what it always will be. It will be to God's glory. As Romans 8:28 says, "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose." It may not be the good you expect or hope for, but it will good to God's fame and glory and purpose. Everyone of the trials we experienced taught us something and made us stronger. Each in their own way brought us closer to our Father or to His children. Our joys came not just with successes and financial growth, but in love, persevering and conquering.  

You two blue and pink peg people will hop in your cars and begin this journey together very soon. And we pray you will have more highs than lows together. But regardless of the spin of the wheel, know that you are in Good Hands of the One who is in control of all things. 

Discussion: What do you think is the key to success in the game of life? How is it possible that trials can actually be good? How do you measure success?

Prayer: Father we give our lives to You and pray you watch over us in the years ahead, through the ups and downs of our life journey. And we pray through it all, that people will know to Whom we belong as we give all glory to you. In Christ, Amen.

Pressure Washing

The other day I finally tried out my pressure washer. I got it for next to nothing at TJMaxx around Christmas and was excited to try it out on the driveway or sidewalk. Thought I would try it out on the walkway to the side door first. It worked. Through the direct intense pressure of the water, the dark stains on the cement walkway lifted and washed away. But let me tell you something, the nozzle is very narrow, so the area cleaned in one pass was maybe a half inch in diameter. Imagine going back and forth over every single half inch of a walkway to clean it. It took forever to do it. It looked fabulous, but I wondered if I would ever use it to do the entire driveway or sidewalk. It wasn't until after I finished that I discovered the washer came with a second nozzle with a wider spray. Sigh.

While using the pressure washer I thought of myself as a sinner in God's eyes and how often He uses various circumstances in my life to blast away the sin. Things will happen to force me to take a good look at myself, my behavior and choices. If they are not in line with what Scripture recommends, it's time for a good cleaning. But like the pressure washer, it's tackles just a bit at a time. Made me really grateful for Jesus. In one swoop, He made me whiter than snow. Does that mean God won't utilize a little pressure to get us to take notice of particular sin in our life? No, He most certainly will. He wants us to make good choices and grow ever closer in imitating our Lord. Sometimes it takes a bit of pressure to make that change.

In Deuteronomy 8:3 Moses tells the Israelites, "So He humbled you, allowed you to hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the LORD." In 2 Corinthians 2, Paul talks about a "thorn" in his flesh to keep him from becoming conceited.

This used a lot as an example, but look at the diamond. Once a lump of coal, after years of pressure, it's become the hardest substance on earth and when faceted, is breathtakingly beautiful. I think that is what God wants of us.

So when you undergo circumstances in your marriage and life that may not seem fair, or life throws various trials at you, take stock of the situation and truly examine first what might need to change in your life. The circumstance may have nothing at all to do with you, but then again, it might. So go in prayer to the Father and ask for wisdom. James 1:5 "If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you." He will give you clarity. There are many trials ahead, but in the words of James 1:2-4 "Whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing." And hang in there. If a diamond is the end result, you will be breathtakingly beautiful.

Discussion: Tell about a trial or circumstance you faced that made you a better person?

Prayer: Father, we don't welcome trials in our life, but know they make us better. When they come, we pray you give us discernment and strength. May we through them become mature and complete. We love you. In Jesus, Amen.

No Question

I have a Christian fish on my car. And a Bible verse (Deut. 6:5). And a cross hanging from my rearview mirror. And a bumper sticker of The River, Christian radio station. And a decal that says He>i. When you see my car, you should have no question the driver is a Christian.

There is a cross hanging outside our home. There are crosses all over the inside and Bibles in just about every room. There are Bible verses hanging on the walls and oftentimes Christian music playing in the stereo. When you come into our home, you should have no question Christians live here.

This should be the same case when you meet us ... you should have no question when watching us and speaking to us that we are Christians. We want it to be obvious. If someone accuses us of being Christian, we hope there will be plenty of evidence. And not just "Oh, she wears a cross necklace" or "They go to church every Sunday" or "I've caught him reading her Bible." We would prefer people catch us in the act of being a Christian. Loving someone, serving others, letting our speech reflect our faith.

We are living in a culture perpetually pulling us away from what God has called us to be ... reflecting those Fruits of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control as found in Galatians 5:22-23. Are you loving? Are you peaceful? Are you generous? Are you kind? Are you joyful? Are you patient? Are you faithful? Do you have self-control? Are you gentle? There may be one or more of those that you will say "no" to ... well, then, work on it.

We will have countless opportunities within our marriages and in our daily life to blow it. To not be godly. To not reflect Christ. We need to reach beyond our human failings and strive to be what God expects of us. We need to catch our minds when they traverse into spiritually unhealthy areas. We need to stop ourselves before we respond in unrighteous anger. We need to "take every thought captive to obey Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5). Stop inappropriate responses and words from leaving your lips. Quash feelings of jealousy. Forgive over and over again. Love our enemies and pray for them. Care for the poor and sick. Visit the lonely. Love, love, love, love, love.

It doesn't matter what you stick on your car, hang in your house or wear on your body. What matters is what people see in you. The old hymn says, And they'll know are Christians by our love, by our love. Yes, they'll know we are Christians by our love." Let there be no question.

Discussion: What evidence can people give to prove you are a Christian? Which of the Fruits of the Spirit do you need a little work on?

Prayer: Father, let not just our outward appearance, but also our inward heart be an advertisement of Your great love. Father, every day is a challenge. Help us remember to take our thoughts captive to You, praise and glorify You. In Jesus, Amen.