Sing Praises! Sing Praises!

The other day I was hanging a shadow box I made for your Daddy in his newly redesigned man cave/office. The shadow box is heavy, thus has two hooks on the back for hanging. I typically hate hanging these particular pieces of artwork because you need to measure the distance from the top of the frame to the hook and the distance between the hooks to level the frame ... which for me more often the not requires a second time for correction after the nails have already been pounded in. Then you have to hope the hooks can catch on each nail perfectly. So here I am hanging something way above my height, trying to get these hooks to catch ... and they just won't. Over and over I'm lifting the heavy frame attempting this, sometimes getting one to catch, sometimes it catching and pulling the nail out of the wall. I was already uncomfortable with the height and weight of what I was doing and getting increasingly frustrated, then angry. And that's when I looked over to my right and saw there an engraved wooden copy of the lyrics to How Great Thou Art hanging on the wall. So I started to sing the song out loud. I felt a peace come over me that can only be explained by the Holy Spirit. Singing praise to my Father in heaven during this frustrating experience, calmed and centered me ... and the shadow box hooked right on. Yeah, it wasn't level, so I had to redo it, but it didn't matter. I was praising God in the midst of it.

When we are in the heat of circumstances that frustrate us, if we immediately went in prayer or burst into glorious songs of praise, we might have far fewer arguments, outbursts and failures. There is something overpowering about songs of praise, and the Bible is chock full of them. They are called Psalms. Every time I come across a Psalm with the word "sing" in it or "praise," I underline it. Working for a Christian radio station, I love to see those words in Scripture, as that is what the artists do on The River. Matter of fact, many of the songs we hear on The River come directly from Psalms.

• "From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised." Psalm 113 and Sing Your Praise To The Lord by Rich Mullins.
• "For great is your love, higher than the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies." Psalm 108 and Your Love O Lord by Third Day.
• "Praise the Lord, O my soul. O Lord my God, you are very great." Psalm 104:1 and How Great Is Our God by Chris Tomlin.
• "Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise His holy name." Psalm 103 and 10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman.
• "Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth, burst into jubilant song with music." Psalm 98:4 and Shout To The Lord by Darlene Zschech.
• "O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!" Psalm 8:1 and How Majestic Is Your Name by Michael W. Smith.

And those are just a few. You want to be uplifted in spirit? Go to the Psalms. Searching for just the right words to be in praise to the Father? The Psalms have that. Even looking for words of prayer? Yep, the Psalms are your go-to place. Let that be where your soul goes in times of struggle, frustration, sorrow and anger ... singing in praise to the One True God. When the two of you get into an argument, perhaps one can start to sing in glory of our Father. Imagine how quickly the argument will come to an end!

"I will praise the Lord all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live." Psalm 146:2
Amen and amen.

Discussion: What is your favorite praise song? Is there a time when you were frustrated and a song to God brought you peace? Do you have a favorite Psalm?

Prayer: Father, how good it is to sing praises to you. (Psalm 147:1). I will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness. (Psalm 145:7). I will sing you a new song of praise. (Psalm 149:1). I will give thanks to you for you are good! (Psalm 106:1) I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High." (Psalm 9:1-2). In the sweet name of Jesus, Amen.

Rising Irritation

The other day I was getting so frustrated with things around me not working they way they were supposed to. The refrigerator wasn't cooling correctly. An order I made online didn't come correctly. We were mischarged on our cellphone bill. I spent a good part of the day fixing things. By the end of the day, I'd had it. I was so angry, some expletives surfaced when I started to text and autocorrect was doing everything but correcting. Then I took it out on Brad. He was not at fault for any of the above things, but in my frustration, my snippy little comments landed on the love of my life. In grace, he walked away and patiently waited for me to calm down. Right before I went to bed, I wrapped my arms around him and asked him to forgive me. "I knew you would come back to hug me. I was waiting. I just knew it," he said. How I love this man. And what an idiot I was. He should not have had to be the brunt of that.

Now before you think this is one-sided, Brad has done the very same thing to me when faced with bizarre circumstances. That doesn't make either of us right. It's ridiculous. It's honestly shameful. Sometimes I think the evil one lurks right behind us encouraging us to take out life's woes on the one who means the most. But when we do that, it's like verbal daggers to the heart. It's uncalled for, unnecessary, hurtful and ludicrous. When you feel the irritation rising in you, what should you do?

Pray. Recite Scripture. Walk away from the annoyance. If our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, we are subjecting it to some crazy stuff in our anger. Why not let the Holy Spirit rule instead?

You will be exasperated repeatedly in your marriage, possibly even at your spouse. And you can respond the way the evil one, the father of lies, wants you to or the way our Father, who loves us deeply, wants us to. It just takes some refocusing and self-control. Don't let your beloved be your punching bag. Sincerely work on your efforts to display Godly attributes, even in the frustrating times. So that you don't have to go back later and apologize.

Discussion: What are some things that frustrate you? What are some positive ways you've handled annoying situations? Have you ever taken out your frustration on your beloved?

Prayer: Lord God, please forgive us for those times when circumstances incite us to sin. Father, we want to be Yours completely and reflect who You are. Please help us stay centered on You and not hurt those closest to us. In Jesus we pray, Amen.

Inconveniences

Inconveniences are a pain. You know, when you hit every single traffic light. Or for that matter traffic is heavy. Or when something breaks down. Or you get injured. It can be exasperating. When you are going through it, seems nothing can make it right. Sometimes you even want to brush off the well-intentioned soul who says to you, "There must be a reason for it."

But the truth of the matter is, there probably is a reason for it. Think of the miraculous stories of people who were delayed to an event only to hear about an accident at the exact time you were to be there. Or was the delay intended by God to teach you patience? Or were you a piece in a far grander lesson for another soul in their spiritual journey. You may never, ever know why you are going through specific inconveniences, but it sure gives us a better perspective when we know Who is in control of it all.

I know Ayla had some frustrations with her Save The Date cards. They were to arrive more than a week ago, but somehow got lost in the FedEx delivery world. Online it said the package was delivered. Managers said it was still on the truck and on the way. The driver said it was left at the apartment door. So the folks in charge were confused as to whether or not the cards had been delivered at all. The end result was a do over at the expense of the delivery service, but not before many phone calls and frustrating wait times. What was the point?

Perhaps it was meant to see if kindness would be expressed in the face of irritation? Perhaps it was to call into question the responsibility of a particular delivery person. Perhaps it was the check on the integrity of the company? We may never know, but we can know without a doubt God knew it would happen long before it did. It is comforting to know our Father knows everything before it happens and can provide the way out, a solution, peace and the guidance we need in the midst of those "inconveniences" when we think to ask.

There will be many inconveniences in your lives together, simple and some major challenges as well. And no matter what the circumstance, we are called to be thankful (1 Thessalonians 5:18) and trust in the Lord (Proverbs 3:5-6). Responding with grace will help also.

When you have been blessed in those circumstances to see the power of God at work, to completely understand the reason for the inconvenience and how the Lord worked through it, acknowledge Him and be sure to tell the testimony. For that may be the main reason you went through it at all ... that another may hear of the His amazing works.

Discussion: Can you think of a time when an inconvenience turned out to be a blessing? How can we uplift each other in these circumstances?

Prayer: Father, when we are in the middle of a challenge, it is sometimes hard to see the blessings in it. And sometimes, Lord, we never do. Give us grace in every situation. Help us to be righteous in the midst of it, gracious and loving. Thank you for your Son, Jesus Christ. In His name, Amen.

Unbottling the Bottled Up

You are going to have bad days. You are going to have several bad days in a row. You may have several bad months in a row. It may be stress at work, coupled with things breaking in the house and even health concerns. I guarantee at some point this will happen (you've already experienced this a bit). But this is the point: Do not under any circumstances take it out on your spouse.

Now in your doey-eyed, lovesick engagement, this may not make sense. Why would you ever take something unrelated to your spouse out on them? Well, you will and there are several reasons that play into that. 1) You know your true love will be with you no matter what. 2) You don't have to be on your best behavior or put on airs, as they will accept you as you are. And 3) it could be that you can't vent frustrations at work towards a boss or coworkers or even at home at inanimate objects, so the venting ends up on the one who loves you unconditionally. The problem is, sometimes when you are in the thick of the "bad" you may not recognize that you are lashing out, venting, miscommunicating, passing blame or transferring feelings from one area to another. So what do you do to prevent or combat this?

First off, if you recognize stress or frustration from work, LEAVE IT THERE. Do not bring it home. You are welcome to share your thoughts with your spouse, just don't transfer it. Give yourself a chance to calm down, center and shake off the day. Folks with a commute, often use this time for that. I recommend praying during this time. Think about all that happened and give it to God to process. He can take it. This goes for frustration with something not working at home or health issues as well. Pray, pray, pray. For that matter, pray together. Discussion is fine. Getting feedback or advice if requested, is fine. It's dumping and yelling at your loved one that's unnecessary and even mean. Most folks don't notice they've done this until after and have to go back and apologize for their behavior. It's better to cut it off before it happens. Familiarize yourself with what you are feeling physically and mentally during these times, so that when it starts to happen you can pull back from it and put life in context.

Here's the thing, venting is good and necessary. It's important to get that out. You can talk it out, exercise it out, write it out, whatever works for you. Just get it out before what's bottled up comes out on the one you love in a completely unrelated context. Proverbs 29:11 says, "A fool gives full vent to anger, but the wise quietly holds it back."

You will be blessed to have each other there to get you through things are that are oftentimes difficult to go through alone, just be careful not to take advantage of each other. Remember to treat each other in love always, and these issues will be rare and minimal. The good news is, if your spouse is truly there for you in the good and bad, they will love you enough to forgive you, too.

Discussion: Have you ever taken out the frustrations of the day on each other? What do you do to deal with stresses in life? What do you notice happens to you mentally or physically when stressed? How can you include your loved one without taking it out on them?

Prayer: Lord, our lives are filled with busyness and sometimes that is coupled with things that go wrong. We ask for grace to deal with these circumstances and when having to let it out, that we choose appropriate ways to do so. Help us to be loving and kind to one another. In Jesus name, Amen.