The Greatest Romance In History

So I'm putting on my overalls and tank top to go outside and do some yard work right before your Daddy was heading off to work, and he walks in the bedroom to get a kiss good-bye, "Oh, you look sexy!" he says. That could be, right there, one of the greatest love quotes of all time. Here I am in my scuzzy clothes - the non-figure defining fashion faux pas #57 - and my beloved husband thinks I am sexy. It sure put a little skip in my step as I went out to wash windows and water the flowers.

Two days ago at lunch, I was watching the movie City of Angels. A fictitious story about an angel named Seth (played by Nicolas Cage) who falls in love with a doctor named Maggie (Meg Ryan). He falls from grace to become a human to be with her. Just days later she dies in an accident. Visited by an angel after she dies, Seth is asked if he had known what was going to happen to Maggie, would he still have fallen. He responds, "I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss of her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One." That is a great love quote. Another great one from that movie, is when Maggie is dying. "I'm not afraid. When they ask me what I liked the best, I'll tell them, it was you." Cue the waterworks.

Both quotes speak of the depth of their love. Quotes like "You complete me," from Jerry Maguire. and "You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on" from Pride and Prejudice. You don't question that kind of love. It's deep, and profound, and real. When you are deeply in love with someone that is what you feel. You see them in the grungy clothes, and think they are sexy. Good heavens, I think your Daddy is sexy when I spontaneously throw a ball of fresh mozzarella cheese to him at the grocery store and he catches it. I think he is sexy when he's on his knees in prayer. I think he's sexy when does the dishes. Let's face it, I am hopelessly, deliriously, excitedly, wholeheartedly in love with this man.

That is the kind of love we want for our children. We want you to feel that completeness. We want you to have the greatest romance in history. To be able to tell your children one day, "I love your Daddy/Mommy 3,000 times more than I did on our wedding day." To see your beloved at their worst and yet only see the best. To know that their heartbeat is one of your favorite sounds. That when you cuddle close, their smell is one of the most captivating you've ever breathed in. How do you feel about your beloved right now? We want that for you for your lifetime, compounded and multiplied. So love and be loved. Don't ever take it for granted. Cherish it and nurture it. It is absolutely worth it.

Discussion: Write down a statement that describes how you feel about your beloved. Do you have a favorite love quote?

Prayer: Father God, we thank you for this love of our life. We pray, Father, we never forget to show how much we love our spouse. Lord we thank you that you showed us first and foremost what love is. In Christ we pray, Amen.

Not The Sweatpants

I love it when a show can make me laugh out loud, and I did that yesterday afternoon while watching a DVR'ed episode of Duck Dynasty. Jase and Jep Robertson, brothers, were competing for something. When Jep lost, he compared losing to his brother to driving to Chick-Fil-A on a Sunday and finding it closed. Or "hoping to get lucky with Jess [his wife] ... and she puts on the sweatpants." I laughed heartily because it's something I could see Daddy saying. This could be one of those devotion posts where my kids do an "ewww," because the parents are talking about sex again, but since it's such an important part of marriage, we certainly don't want to skimp on this. But let's face it, if Brad is any indication of what the male libido is like, then men want to have sex every single day ... several times a day if possible. Now there was a study once that said men think about sex every seven seconds, but that's probably well blown out of proportion. WebMD says men think about sex at least once a day and for women once every other day. So based on that, men think about sex twice as often as women do. But to me the key part of that article is the language of intimacy. It said that women need to have a connection emotionally before they can have sex, and for men, sex is the connection.

You want your husband to be happy? Have sex. Nice and simple. And have it often. You hear the old cliche "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache," but know that when sex is denied, that emotional connection, that intimacy men crave, is lacking. So what women want in romance (date night, flowers, caring, snuggling) men want in sex. Just like a woman laments if her husband slumps in the romance department, so men lament women slumping in the sex department. Thus, when Jess Robertson dons the sweatpants, according to Jep, she's telling her hubby in a subtle way, "Not tonight, honey." Now I've never done the sweatpants thing, but you can see Brad's heart sink when he says, "You're putting on those pajamas," which must be anti-sexy. But trust me - and he can speak for this - I can even rock those slumpy jammies so they don't instantly send the anti-sex signal. Which is funny, cause then the next time I wear those jammies, Daddy's all "oooo, those jammies!"

I have many friends who have told me they rarely make love. One once told me it had been seven years. Seven! Others have told me once a week or every couple of weeks or even once a month. Say what?! Why? Barring physical issues, something is breaking down in these couples romantically and passionately. Both parts are equally valuable. So couples, get to know each other intimately. Find out what brings the other pleasure both physically and emotionally. Make it about pleasing your spouse and not yourself. It comes back in spades anyway ... a true win-win situation!

So girls, watch what message your are sending your fellows sex wise. And fellows, romance, romance, romance those girls. I promise you it will reap benefits. Have sex and have fun (we know, weird advice coming from your parents) - of course, remember, after the wedding. And maybe skip the sweatpants in the bedroom.

Discussion: Ask your fiance what they find sexy. Ask your fiance how often they think of sex? What is their idea of romance or intimacy?

Prayer: Lord God, how blessed we are they you have created love making for married couples. We thank you for this gift and pray we can delight in it often, lovingly, romantically and passionately. In Christ we pray, Amen.

Romance Me

Most women love romance. Love it. We want to be wooed. We want to be surprised. We want to be cherished. We want to know our spouse is making the effort to think about us enough to plan something special to celebrate us. We like sweet gifts like flowers, jewelry, balloons, love notes, cards, dinner out, a show and chocolate. And with Valentine's Day tomorrow, it is important that men are prepared.

We girls were once alone on Valentine's Day. We were the ones not receiving the sweet Valentine's gifts above. And we didn't like it. We didn't like watching other women receive those kinds of things and feel left out of the love fun. So now that we have a special someone, we want the full Valentine's experience ... even the ridiculously huge fluffy stuffed bear that takes up space and you can do nothing with. It just means we were loved and thought of that day.

But the romance should not just happen on Valentine's Day or on your anniversary. Romance should be all year round. Monday, while sitting at my desk working, my sweet husband came up behind me and laid a bouquet of bright pink tulips in front of me. It was the sweetest gesture! I was completely caught off guard and it brightened my day. I asked, "Is this my Valentine bouquet?" To which he preciously responded, "You said it was Valentine's Month." Indeed I did. I always say February is the Love Month. But not just for spouses by the way. It's for everyone. It is especially a good time to shower some love and sweetness on friends and family who may not otherwise receive it. It is a month to have fun!

Remember the other day when we said "Men need sex to have love and women need love to have sex?" That love we speak of for women has two parts to it: that selfless love where men help us out and care for us and that romance love that goes above and beyond. When couples are dating, guys will go out of their way to get flowers, write notes, get little gifts, etc, but oftentimes the guy figures once he's proposed or married, he's got the girl, so that romance stuff goes by the wayside. If a guy goes out of his way to make his lady feel special, she will certainly go out of her way to make him feel special, wink, wink. The romance should never stop. And honestly, some guys like the romance stuff, too, so girls go for it. Find out what your fiance/spouse likes and meet that need.

• Does she like flowers? What kind? What color?
• Does she like chocolate? Dark, milk or white? What brand?
• Does she like dinner out? Seafood, steak, salads, burgers?
• Does she like jewelry? Dainty or bulky? Real or costume? Blingy or thematic?
• Does she like cards? Mushy or humorous?

And on it goes. Don't just know what she likes ... know details. It shows you care. And that goes the other way around, ladies.

I will never forget the 72-Hour Valentine my husband planned for me when we lived in Wisconsin. The kids were little, and he went all out planning my every hour for several days. It was so precious and meant the world to me. Try to top that one, fellows! So keep the romance coming. Have fun! Enjoy bringing joy to each other! You will both reap the benefits of it, trust us.

Discussion: What do you particularly like to receive from a romance standpoint? Do you like to be surprised? Tell about a moment when your fiance was particularly romantic? What is your idea of a perfect Valentine's Day or weekend?

Prayer: Thank you, Father, for love. We love because You first loved us we're told in 1 John 4:19. Thank you for setting the example of pure beautiful love. May we do likewise and never forget to sweep our loved one off their feet. In Jesus, Amen.