Not The Sweatpants

I love it when a show can make me laugh out loud, and I did that yesterday afternoon while watching a DVR'ed episode of Duck Dynasty. Jase and Jep Robertson, brothers, were competing for something. When Jep lost, he compared losing to his brother to driving to Chick-Fil-A on a Sunday and finding it closed. Or "hoping to get lucky with Jess [his wife] ... and she puts on the sweatpants." I laughed heartily because it's something I could see Daddy saying. This could be one of those devotion posts where my kids do an "ewww," because the parents are talking about sex again, but since it's such an important part of marriage, we certainly don't want to skimp on this. But let's face it, if Brad is any indication of what the male libido is like, then men want to have sex every single day ... several times a day if possible. Now there was a study once that said men think about sex every seven seconds, but that's probably well blown out of proportion. WebMD says men think about sex at least once a day and for women once every other day. So based on that, men think about sex twice as often as women do. But to me the key part of that article is the language of intimacy. It said that women need to have a connection emotionally before they can have sex, and for men, sex is the connection.

You want your husband to be happy? Have sex. Nice and simple. And have it often. You hear the old cliche "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache," but know that when sex is denied, that emotional connection, that intimacy men crave, is lacking. So what women want in romance (date night, flowers, caring, snuggling) men want in sex. Just like a woman laments if her husband slumps in the romance department, so men lament women slumping in the sex department. Thus, when Jess Robertson dons the sweatpants, according to Jep, she's telling her hubby in a subtle way, "Not tonight, honey." Now I've never done the sweatpants thing, but you can see Brad's heart sink when he says, "You're putting on those pajamas," which must be anti-sexy. But trust me - and he can speak for this - I can even rock those slumpy jammies so they don't instantly send the anti-sex signal. Which is funny, cause then the next time I wear those jammies, Daddy's all "oooo, those jammies!"

I have many friends who have told me they rarely make love. One once told me it had been seven years. Seven! Others have told me once a week or every couple of weeks or even once a month. Say what?! Why? Barring physical issues, something is breaking down in these couples romantically and passionately. Both parts are equally valuable. So couples, get to know each other intimately. Find out what brings the other pleasure both physically and emotionally. Make it about pleasing your spouse and not yourself. It comes back in spades anyway ... a true win-win situation!

So girls, watch what message your are sending your fellows sex wise. And fellows, romance, romance, romance those girls. I promise you it will reap benefits. Have sex and have fun (we know, weird advice coming from your parents) - of course, remember, after the wedding. And maybe skip the sweatpants in the bedroom.

Discussion: Ask your fiance what they find sexy. Ask your fiance how often they think of sex? What is their idea of romance or intimacy?

Prayer: Lord God, how blessed we are they you have created love making for married couples. We thank you for this gift and pray we can delight in it often, lovingly, romantically and passionately. In Christ we pray, Amen.