Magical Day

Several days have passed since your wedding. It was a blessed and beautiful event. From your snazzy outfits, beautiful wedding arch, delicious cake, Daddy's awesome sermon, fun with guests, amazing music by Stephen, perfect cloud covered ceremony and superb sunset, musical dance, yummy appetizers, sweet donut bar, bubbles, glitter, flowers with Mommy's bouquet seed pearls, hilarious Selfie Station, fun thumbprint guest book and masterful DJing by your Uncle Greg, it was a magical day. We are happy for you, Mr. and Mrs. Goggin. And now we are excited and looking forward to Anton and Kayla getting married. We wanted to share a few pictures from your happy day. We love you and praise God for all the blessings He showered on you both and all who came. Glory to Him!

Discussion: What are your favorite memories of this day? Do you have God stories about your wedding day?

Prayer: Lord, we know you were present at this wedding. We know you blessed us all with safe travel, no hiccups and a perfectly beautiful day. We love you, Father God. May you forever be glorified in this marriage! In Christ's name we pray, Amen.

Happy Wedding Day ... A Doubly Blessed Day!

This is it. This is the day! First off, "this is the day that the Lord has made, and we will rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24). But we have an even greater reason to rejoice in it, for today our daughter will become Mrs. Robert Goggin!

This celebration has been more than a year in the making, starting with an engagement on the shore of the Atlantic Ocean in Garden City Beach, South Carolina. After ring purchasing, dress hunting, date selecting, venue picking, decoration buying, shoe shopping, flower perusing, tux sizing, gift registering, invitation designing, ceremony scheduling, music choosing, vow writing and so much more, there is little left to do except enjoy! You both will have plenty going on this day, and will be surrounded by all the family and friends you love (and some family and new friends you've not met yet) to celebrate one of the greatest days of your life. So breathe in and breathe out. Relax. Take in every single - and married - moment. Remember how you feel this day. Remember the love you feel right this very minute for your beloved. Remember the expressions on each other's faces the first time you see one another. Remember the faces of those who have traveled from so many different places to witness this special event and then party with you to commemorate it. We are thrilled for you, Rob and Ayla, on this day. We know a few tears will be shed, but not tears of sadness, not even the slightest bit of sadness. For this day God the Father will take two souls and make them one! He will intertwine your lives as only He can do, bless you both and watch with pride as His precious children, designed for one another, unite before Him. And that brings the greatest tears of all ... complete and perfect joy.

We love you both so very much. And know you may not even read this until this day has passed. We have shared all we can think to share with you both about marriage and weddings. Now, it's up to you. You will have this to look back on, should you need a reminder of the words spoken here. Just pop your subject in the newly added search box and posts will pop up to help you out with that issue. This is our gift to you. We never wanted to say that we didn't tell you everything we possible could to prepare you for this special day.
 
On this date 28 years ago, we said our I do's to one another. My Dad whispered in my ear just as he was about to escort my 22-year-old self down the aisle: "How about we surprise them all and skip." Now, I wish we would have, but his suggestion made me giggle and relaxed me just before that momentous procession. And there at the end was your breathtaking Daddy. God did a beautiful thing that day bringing us together. We have had quite a journey in our marriage, and we've shared a lot of it here. While we celebrate the beginning of your marriage today, we celebrate the anniversary of ours. For us it is, and now will ever be, a doubly blessed day.

May the Lord bless your wedding day. May the Lord bless your honeymoon. May the Lord bless your marriage. May the Lord bless your adventures together. And may the Lord bless your future family. Remember that it's all about Him and you are good to go.

Now we gotta get ready. We have some celebrating to do! Happy Blessed Wedding Day!

Discussion: What are you thinking about in anticipation of this day? As the day comes to an end, what moments stand out for you? How was God glorified in this day?

Prayer: Heavening Father, creator of marriage, we praise your name. We thank you for 365 ideas for our children as they prepared for marriage. Father we ask for your presence here on this day. May your Holy Spirit fill our children from head to toe. We pray you are glorified. It is in Jesus name we pray, Amen.

Reheasing For Tomorrow

What a fun day today will be! Today is Rehearsal Day ... the day to make sure everything is scheduled and kinks are unkinked. Everything is practiced so everyone is on the same page, hopefully eliminating any surprises for tomorrow. There will be much laughter and silliness. There will be a few mistakes, but this is the day to make them. And there will be a sense of familiarity in the process so that tomorrow will be a little less hectic. It's a fun day.

Then after the details are ironed out, we'll join together with Rob's father and step-mother to bring together families from the northeastern end of the country with folks from the upper midwest and south and the dearest of friends. This is your last night as singles before the most important day of your life. Games, good food and fellowship as folks get to know one another a little bit better in a less formal environment, and perhaps let go of a little anxiety.

What typically takes place at a rehearsal dinner?

Introductions: Take some time to say who everyone is. Name tags may be helpful for this night. Be sure to go around and meet and greet everyone.
Supper: Can be whatever you want. With Rob and Ayla, food trucks are the fare for the evening.
Thank yous: These are the verbal thank yous to everyone who helped and came.
Toasts: Since typically the best man and maid-of-honor do toasts at a reception, this is a good time for parents to make toasts.
Gifts for the wedding party: A good time to give your bridesmaids and groomsmen a token of thanks.
Last Minute Reminders so everyone will know where they need to be and at what time the next day. 

For Rob and Ayla's night they have a few games planned, as they wanted to really get folks interacting together. It's going to be a lot of fun and memorable.

So get ready to practice for the big day and delight in the company of those who love you so very much! Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you'll be married!

Discussion: What things are running through your mind on this day before your wedding? What are the things you most want to practice? What are you hoping will happen at your rehearsal dinner?

Prayer: Lord God, we pray this is a special, fun, tension-less day for our couple and the families. We pray for joy in the greetings and blessings in the memories. We love you, Father. Thank you for this day. In Christ, Amen.

Thanks For The Memories

Daddy and I have been married nearly 28 years and dated four years before that.We have made a lot of good memories in that period of time. Some were grand and glorious and others were subtle and precious. We decided to take a walk down memory lane at some of our greatest marriage moments. You may find some bizarre, but when we talked about this and one of us would come up with a memory, the other was nodding and smiling in agreement. Now honestly, there are so many good memories we cannot possibly list them all here, but we wanted to share a few so you can see the joy we have in all these years together.

Our egg fight - It started off with Daddy gloating about the fact that I made too many dyed hard-boiled eggs at Easter, and had so many left over weeks after. So I threw one at him. Then another and another in rapid succession. He caught every single one, but squished a bunch in the process. We laughed hysterically. It was excellent use of extra eggs ... and we got a second giggle when we found egg shells behind our couch when we moved from that apartment.

Watching Daddy play sports - I do not like to watch sports. Bores me to tears. But I love watching your Daddy play them. He is so sexy when those muscles are stretching and flexing. And the fact that he is so good at every sport he plays made it super fun for me. I'll never forget the young boys watching Daddy's work softball league and commenting "Check out the guy in the blue t-shirt. He's the best." That guy was my shortstop husband. That's right, my man.

Good meals and bad meals - I am a horrible cook. So your Daddy has lived through hockey puck pot roast and a severely under-cooked (okay, raw) Thanksgiving turkey. But likewise he's had some amazing fig pancakes, monster cookies, crepes, homemade pizza and meatloaf (okay, that last one was his Dad's recipe, but I did cook it). We have made great memories in those meals. And especially have enjoyed our candlelight dinners.

Packer cruise to the Caribbean - A dream vacation we couldn't afford that by God's grace and Daddy's sweet opportunity to write a chapter for a book on Super Bowl-winning Packer Coach Mike Holmgren gave us some bonus funds to spurge with. We had the most fun time, saw amazing sights, met fabulous people and experienced new things like parasailing which we've not done since. It was a beautiful week of our life together.

Snowball fight - Can't even remember what the argument was about. We were living in Tennessee and it snowed. We went out for a walk to talk out the disagreement and pretty soon were whipping snowballs at each other. We ended up laughing and playing in the snow.

Sugar Smacks cereal and champagne - our first breakfast together as husband and wife on our honeymoon. We got to the Garden City Beach condo and didn't have any food except that. So that was breakfast. We relived that memory when we renewed our vows on our 15th anniversary. Which leads to ...

Our 15th Anniversary Vow Renewal - Your Daddy is the king of surprises and this was a doozy. Bringing my best buddy into town to serve as my matron-of-honor, having a friend make me a gown, others made a cake, others decorated a hotel room for the night, others fixed a ring for me to wear and then to have my daughter and son walk down the aisle as we celebrated ... sigh. It was a magical day.

Neil Diamond concert - Another of your Daddy's surprises. I'm a Neil Diamond groupie. He took care of getting a babysitter and drove me to Milwaukee. On our way he told me we were going to see Neil. Awesome concert, but even better because it was a surprise by my beloved.

Great Sex - don't cringe. We have been so blessed, truly. Not going to go all triple x on you here, but just suffice it to say we have sure had fun.

Mission trip to Mexico - one of the best experiences of our lives was helping to build that concrete home in Piedra's Negras with Constructores Para Cristo. Eye-opening, gut-wrenching and heart warming. I still wear my Mexico mission boots and have a brick piece from the work site that always brings warm fuzzies.

Tatiana - Christmas Day when your Daddy surprised me with our Compassion International Child. One of the best presents he's ever given me.

Getaways - to different beaches, to Door County, to state parks, to Mackinac Island, to even camping on Assateague Island beach covered in horse manure rolling in the waves just to see wild horses. We have so enjoyed exploring new places together.

Northeast America trip - this vacation with you kids was actually a business trip for Daddy that we parlayed into a vacation-of-a-lifetime seeing Washington D.C, Philadelphia, Gettysburg, Niagara Falls, the Baseball Hall of Fame and Cedar Point. It was a whirlwind and perfect at the same time. We will never forget it.

Penthouse at Super Bowl XXIX in Miami - We got to our hotel room and it smelled like vomit. I told your Daddy I was going to the front desk to ask for another room. Your Daddy doesn't like change, so he was upset that I was going down to complain. Next thing you know we're in the penthouse, the entire top floor surrounded in glass with a 360° view of Miami. I could see the fireworks from the Super Bowl from the hotel. It's worth asking for quality customer service.

Pregnancies of both children - we will never forget how we learned of both pregnancies, hearing their heartbeats for the first time, the deliveries of both children and holding those sweet newborns. Truly two of the greatest moments of our lives. And every subsequent memory with our children ... including their engagements!

Getting our first ...  - washer and dryer: that may sound petty, but after years of taking clothes to the laundromat, we so appreciated the convenience of our very first set. We would get done with one load and run around the apartment looking for anything dirty just to wash it; air-conditioned car: which we got when I was pregnant with Ayla. To have that in Tennessee was a jewel. Loved that little white Dodge Aries; house: we made a list of everything we wanted in our first home and found it in Antioch, TN. We lived in that home less than a year before moving to Wisconsin, but made such sweet memories in that short period of time there.

Handprints on the Z Shack - when you live far from family, having something of them permanently with you is precious. Those handprints have brought us so much joy. And this is our second handprint wall - the first was in Georgia.

Firepit parties - Getting that fire ring for our 22nd anniversary is one of the best things we've ever done. The fires alone take me back to my childhood camping days, but our Christmas Caroling Campfires have been such a hoot.

Walks together - Sunday walks to Overlook park, moonlit walks, Reid golf course, snow walks, creek walks, walks for ice cream. Each one is precious, especially when we are holding hands.

Couple other Daddy surprises - 49th birthday surprise when you kids came to Seaside beach which shocked me to tears and the 72-hour Valentine Daddy planned for me in Green Bay. He had every moment planned with flowers, dinner, etc. He is amazing at surprises. Every time I think, "He will have trouble topping this," he goes ahead and does it.

Well, we could go on and on, but you get the picture. We sure have had fun. When you make memories that touch you in a special way, you may want to find some way (scrapbook, journal) to capture those moments. Gosh, this has been a blessed 28 years. What new memories will we make next? What new memories will you make? Sure going to be fun finding out!

Discussion: What are some of your favorite memories together thus far? What are some things you would like to do together?

Prayer: Father, we thank you for the opportunities we've had to make such precious memories. We are so grateful for those time. We love you so much! And we pray more lovely memories are ahead. In Jesus we pray, Amen.

In The Dog House

Saturday as Daddy and I were heading to church for Clean Up Day, we saw a double recliner (like our snuggle chair) at a garage sale. Your Daddy, who is so not a garage sale person, said, "I think that would be good for Anton and Kayla," so we stopped to haggle a bit. Within minutes the comfy couch was in the back of the homeowner's pickup truck with Daddy riding in the passenger seat to bring it home. The fellow helped us carry it into the Z Shack when he said, "If I'm ever in the dog house, do you mind if I come here to sleep for the night?" Your Daddy said it was the second such reference the man made to him. And it got us thinking ...

Do not ever use banishment to the couch as a punishment for disagreements. You may need a cooling-off period during disagreements, but kicking your spouse out of your bed solves nothing. It only perpetuates the problem. For one thing you're saying, "I don't want to be near you." For another you're saying, "No sex tonight, baby, so deal with that." Neither are loving. Neither solve the problem. When we hear about people doing this to one another we get so disappointed in that response. It is nothing at all that God would want.

We've talked before in this blog about not going to bed angry. But not going to bed together at all due to an argument should be completely off the table, too. For one thing, 1 Corinthians 7:5 says, "Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." So that opens up all new issues. Step back from your argument just long enough to have clarity and go to God for wisdom, but whatever you do, do not kick one another out of the bed. Your Daddy commented when we talked about writing this blog, "This is something that's not even on their radar yet, since they haven't had to deal with this." I commented that many of the things we've discussed in this blog are that way. But you can't say we didn't warn you and provide you with sound, godly advice for how to deal with it. So in this instance, make a mental note right now ... or better yet, just make it a rule between you both: booting out of bed is not allowed. Matter of fact, in those instances just go ahead and have sex. It may solve the problem for you.

Discussion: Do you know of a spouse who kicked their beloved out of bed due to an argument? Can you resolve as a couple not to do that? How could making love be a resolution to the problem?

Prayer: Lord God, may we never use exclusion from our bed as a solution to problems. We pray Father that the marriage bed is a sacred place. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

What We've Learned

We are four short days away from this wedding and down to the wire on this blog. I was talking to Daddy about what we had left to say to your young couples and he said, "What about what you've learned through this blog?"

So here it goes. In the last 361 days, these are the things I've learned since writing this blog:

1. You can write blog every day for a year. It is absolutely possible. When we set this goal, I had some misgivings, honestly, wondering if it would be something we could complete. No worries now. There are plenty of things to talk about with regards to marriage and weddings.
2. Everyday experiences provide countless lessons. If you go back and look at many of these posts, you will see we're relating what we experienced in a day that gave us fodder for marriage lessons. Many started with "Yesterday" or "The other day." I loved how God reminded us of something within marriage through those experiences.
3. Some of our best posts were written under deadline. When we didn't remember until 11 p.m. and were scrambling to write something, and God gave us this amazing idea. Those were pretty cool.
4. That we have had such a blessed marriage. This has been a walk down memory lane for us (more about that Wednesday), and I have truly seen in writing this blog what a joy it has been, even in the trials. Plus I was able to dig up old wedding photos that I haven't looked at in years.
5. There are some funky wedding traditions around the world. I know a few of you have said the different nationalities' wedding traditions were not your favorite posts, but, wow, I learned a lot in those posts ... including how to say Happy Wedding Day in several languages.
6. Art may be hard to come by for posts, but that is when I got to be most creative. I had lots of fun searching for just the right picture or slogan to go with posts. And especially had fun creating the one with Daddy speaking to his 22-year-old self.
7. We learned gobs of new Bible verses that supported so many of these marriage posts. God is so good and His Living Word is inspiring.
8. We enjoyed getting marriage advice from our friends and family to share with you. Our friends have some great and funny ideas.
9. We cried together remembering stories, memories, people and our love for each other. What a wild ride.
10. And lastly, that marriage is a wonderful, beautiful, blessed creation of our Father God, which we need to work at every single day, but will certainly reap the benefits of. 

While this has been a formidable challenge, it sure has been rewarding. Praying, my sweet ones, that you have benefited from it as much as we have.

Discussion: Do you have a favorite blog post? What is something new you've learned in this last year?

Prayer: Father God, we just want to thank you personally for giving us so many different ideas for writing posts for this blog. We pray you have been glorified and that our children have absorbed all we wanted them to know about marriage. Father may they be blessed by the words written here. In the name of your precious Son, Jesus, Amen.

Head On

While walking yesterday I had an interesting encounter with two mockingbirds. They were, I believe, engaged in a territory battle when I came upon them. As I approached, their natural instincts kicked in and they flew off. One flew in my direction then straight behind me. The other flew ahead of me. He got to the next yard, saw me catching up, flew a little further and on it went until he finally flew to a high tree branch to watch me walk beneath him. He looked like he might take flight at any second, but you could almost see him relax as I passed under realizing I had no interest in him whatsoever. So he stayed put.

I thought about these two birds as two different ways of dealing with issues. You can deal with it head-on immediately, or you can try to stay ahead of it, dealing with bits of it as you go, hoping the issue will pass you by so you don't have to deal directly with it. Let me say, based on experience, the first method is far easier. Let's face it, the bird that flew in the straight at me - head on into the problem, didn't have to keep dealing with me walking along. The other had to deal with this stranger trailing him over and over again and expended much more energy. Had he flown in the same direction as the other, the problem would have been solved.

In your marriage you are going to have issues. There will be various things that may get under your skin about your spouse. There may be communication problems. There may be different ways of doing things that cause tiny squabbles. And there may be far grander problems you have to deal with. You can dance around those issues if you'd like, hope they go away, try to stay ahead of them or out of the way ... or you can sit down with one another, pray together and tackle those issues head on in a loving manner. The latter is faster, kinder and wiser. But notice the key parts: pray and loving. If you go at your beloved in a nasty manner, you honestly are creating a new problem. No one responds well to that kind of approach. But if you go into a situation with every intention of loving the problem away together, you will see far greater and more peaceful results. But do ask yourself what your intentions are when tackling a problem head on. Is it to resolve it or is it to be proven right? If the second, then good gracious, walk away. It's not worth it. But if resolution is the plan, move forward.

You will waste a whole lot of time and emotion avoiding resolution. Do yourselves as a couple a favor and solve problems as they happen, together, with love, in prayer, for the mutual edification of one another and for the sake of peace. Because those problems don't typically go away. They eventually catch up with you. And then you have to deal with them anyways, so might as well deal with it head on.

Discussion: Have you ever let an issue with someone continue on rather than resolve it? Tell of a time when you handled a problem swiftly and lovingly.

Prayer: Father, we pray we always remember to go to you for guidance in dealing with problems between us. Help us to always look to each other's interests before attempting to assert our own. May we always remember to love first. In Christ, Amen.