Thanks For The Memories

Daddy and I have been married nearly 28 years and dated four years before that.We have made a lot of good memories in that period of time. Some were grand and glorious and others were subtle and precious. We decided to take a walk down memory lane at some of our greatest marriage moments. You may find some bizarre, but when we talked about this and one of us would come up with a memory, the other was nodding and smiling in agreement. Now honestly, there are so many good memories we cannot possibly list them all here, but we wanted to share a few so you can see the joy we have in all these years together.

Our egg fight - It started off with Daddy gloating about the fact that I made too many dyed hard-boiled eggs at Easter, and had so many left over weeks after. So I threw one at him. Then another and another in rapid succession. He caught every single one, but squished a bunch in the process. We laughed hysterically. It was excellent use of extra eggs ... and we got a second giggle when we found egg shells behind our couch when we moved from that apartment.

Watching Daddy play sports - I do not like to watch sports. Bores me to tears. But I love watching your Daddy play them. He is so sexy when those muscles are stretching and flexing. And the fact that he is so good at every sport he plays made it super fun for me. I'll never forget the young boys watching Daddy's work softball league and commenting "Check out the guy in the blue t-shirt. He's the best." That guy was my shortstop husband. That's right, my man.

Good meals and bad meals - I am a horrible cook. So your Daddy has lived through hockey puck pot roast and a severely under-cooked (okay, raw) Thanksgiving turkey. But likewise he's had some amazing fig pancakes, monster cookies, crepes, homemade pizza and meatloaf (okay, that last one was his Dad's recipe, but I did cook it). We have made great memories in those meals. And especially have enjoyed our candlelight dinners.

Packer cruise to the Caribbean - A dream vacation we couldn't afford that by God's grace and Daddy's sweet opportunity to write a chapter for a book on Super Bowl-winning Packer Coach Mike Holmgren gave us some bonus funds to spurge with. We had the most fun time, saw amazing sights, met fabulous people and experienced new things like parasailing which we've not done since. It was a beautiful week of our life together.

Snowball fight - Can't even remember what the argument was about. We were living in Tennessee and it snowed. We went out for a walk to talk out the disagreement and pretty soon were whipping snowballs at each other. We ended up laughing and playing in the snow.

Sugar Smacks cereal and champagne - our first breakfast together as husband and wife on our honeymoon. We got to the Garden City Beach condo and didn't have any food except that. So that was breakfast. We relived that memory when we renewed our vows on our 15th anniversary. Which leads to ...

Our 15th Anniversary Vow Renewal - Your Daddy is the king of surprises and this was a doozy. Bringing my best buddy into town to serve as my matron-of-honor, having a friend make me a gown, others made a cake, others decorated a hotel room for the night, others fixed a ring for me to wear and then to have my daughter and son walk down the aisle as we celebrated ... sigh. It was a magical day.

Neil Diamond concert - Another of your Daddy's surprises. I'm a Neil Diamond groupie. He took care of getting a babysitter and drove me to Milwaukee. On our way he told me we were going to see Neil. Awesome concert, but even better because it was a surprise by my beloved.

Great Sex - don't cringe. We have been so blessed, truly. Not going to go all triple x on you here, but just suffice it to say we have sure had fun.

Mission trip to Mexico - one of the best experiences of our lives was helping to build that concrete home in Piedra's Negras with Constructores Para Cristo. Eye-opening, gut-wrenching and heart warming. I still wear my Mexico mission boots and have a brick piece from the work site that always brings warm fuzzies.

Tatiana - Christmas Day when your Daddy surprised me with our Compassion International Child. One of the best presents he's ever given me.

Getaways - to different beaches, to Door County, to state parks, to Mackinac Island, to even camping on Assateague Island beach covered in horse manure rolling in the waves just to see wild horses. We have so enjoyed exploring new places together.

Northeast America trip - this vacation with you kids was actually a business trip for Daddy that we parlayed into a vacation-of-a-lifetime seeing Washington D.C, Philadelphia, Gettysburg, Niagara Falls, the Baseball Hall of Fame and Cedar Point. It was a whirlwind and perfect at the same time. We will never forget it.

Penthouse at Super Bowl XXIX in Miami - We got to our hotel room and it smelled like vomit. I told your Daddy I was going to the front desk to ask for another room. Your Daddy doesn't like change, so he was upset that I was going down to complain. Next thing you know we're in the penthouse, the entire top floor surrounded in glass with a 360° view of Miami. I could see the fireworks from the Super Bowl from the hotel. It's worth asking for quality customer service.

Pregnancies of both children - we will never forget how we learned of both pregnancies, hearing their heartbeats for the first time, the deliveries of both children and holding those sweet newborns. Truly two of the greatest moments of our lives. And every subsequent memory with our children ... including their engagements!

Getting our first ...  - washer and dryer: that may sound petty, but after years of taking clothes to the laundromat, we so appreciated the convenience of our very first set. We would get done with one load and run around the apartment looking for anything dirty just to wash it; air-conditioned car: which we got when I was pregnant with Ayla. To have that in Tennessee was a jewel. Loved that little white Dodge Aries; house: we made a list of everything we wanted in our first home and found it in Antioch, TN. We lived in that home less than a year before moving to Wisconsin, but made such sweet memories in that short period of time there.

Handprints on the Z Shack - when you live far from family, having something of them permanently with you is precious. Those handprints have brought us so much joy. And this is our second handprint wall - the first was in Georgia.

Firepit parties - Getting that fire ring for our 22nd anniversary is one of the best things we've ever done. The fires alone take me back to my childhood camping days, but our Christmas Caroling Campfires have been such a hoot.

Walks together - Sunday walks to Overlook park, moonlit walks, Reid golf course, snow walks, creek walks, walks for ice cream. Each one is precious, especially when we are holding hands.

Couple other Daddy surprises - 49th birthday surprise when you kids came to Seaside beach which shocked me to tears and the 72-hour Valentine Daddy planned for me in Green Bay. He had every moment planned with flowers, dinner, etc. He is amazing at surprises. Every time I think, "He will have trouble topping this," he goes ahead and does it.

Well, we could go on and on, but you get the picture. We sure have had fun. When you make memories that touch you in a special way, you may want to find some way (scrapbook, journal) to capture those moments. Gosh, this has been a blessed 28 years. What new memories will we make next? What new memories will you make? Sure going to be fun finding out!

Discussion: What are some of your favorite memories together thus far? What are some things you would like to do together?

Prayer: Father, we thank you for the opportunities we've had to make such precious memories. We are so grateful for those time. We love you so much! And we pray more lovely memories are ahead. In Jesus we pray, Amen.

Financial Future

The bill collectors are calling. When you are within the 10 day countdown, final payment is due on lots of things: cake, venue, photographer, flowers. People are getting paid for services about to be rendered. It can be overwhelming for the one holding the purse strings, because all of a sudden all your penny pinching, all you've scraped together, all you've saved is now flying out the window in many directions. Some big gulps are taken as you watch the savings account dwindle, then realize it's not over when you need a little here and a little there for those last minute bits. For some of us, you are left with little at the end, but hopes for a beautiful, wonderful memorable day.

Unless you have saved for years and years for this or are independently wealthy, this is the nature of the wedding beast, unfortunately. Weddings are expensive. There are many folks who go into debt to pay for them (not the best practice for starting a marriage and budgeting). But I know my kids. I know they've worked hard to make wise wedding choices and purchases and to stay within budget. And knowing it's time to ante up just means the wedding is right around the corner, and it's almost time to celebrate.

Post wedding you will have new financial things to think about:

1. Merging bank accounts and changing names on utilities and other now common responsibilities and property.
2. Creating a budget for the two of you.
3. Creating an emergency fund for when the unexpected pops up. Financial advisers recommend three or six months of your salary in savings for this.
4. Setting goals for your future. Will you start saving for a house or a car or vacations ... or children. What kind of retirement plan do you have?
5. Avoiding debt. Zero debt is the goal, but not always a possibility (especially with house purchases), but make every effort to eliminate outstanding debt and prevent new debt. 
6. Pray. Give God your finances and every decision you make with your money. Remember every penny is His to start off with. Ninety percent of it is yours to do with what you want. Those first fruits, the full tithe, is His (Malachi 3:10).
7. Be content with where the Lord has blessed you financially (Philippians 4:12) and be sure to give whenever you can. Know that the Lord has blessed you to be a blessing to His children.

Well, my darlings, we're down to the wire. We are keeping you close in our prayers, hearts and minds and look forward to finishing up plans and celebrating soon. Find joy in every moment of this last week before your wedding. On this day, in one week Rob and Ayla will join as husband and wife. And we cannot wait to glorify God with you in it.

And then start putting money away for the next wedding!

Discussion: Did you anticipate correctly how much your wedding would cost? How difficult has it been paying for parts of the wedding? Do you have a financial plan for after the wedding?

Prayer: Lord God, all we have is yours and we thank you for it. Father, we pray you are praised and glorified in the wedding. We pray your children in attendance will see you everywhere in be in awe of you. Father we ask for your direction on our future finances, that we are wise with what you have blessed us. In Christ we  pray, Amen.

Call It Even?

Your Dad and I have done it before. Especially during the super lean years. You know the old, "Let's not get each other gifts this year. We know how we feel about each other." And there are have pluses to this suggestion and some minuses. So we want to look at this.

I had a friend say "Don't save money deciding you don't need to exchange gifts or go on vacations. [That is a] bad tradition to establish. Find the time and money to surprise each other, get away with each other and celebrate your life together." She brings up the saddest part of the not-exchanging-gifts idea and that is neglect. It's forgetting the spontaneity. Forgetting to cherish. Forgetting to edify. Forgetting to romance. Because you are always there for one another, it can be easy to say, "Let's call it even," but honestly it's not very honoring to neglect to look for something special for one another. If you pay even the slightest bit attention to your beloved, you will see their needs, catch their unspoken desires and want to fulfill them. I know Anton purposefully got a Pinterest account to see what his beloved Kayla pinned that she was interested in so that he would know without asking what she liked or wanted. It shows your beloved is a priority.

Now I said there are positives to not giving gifts as well. See for Daddy and I there were some years when we didn't know if we'd have enough money to get you children and our extended family gifts for Christmas, so we'd forego our gifts in their favor. Or we'd just get each other one small thing. And for our anniversary, we would go out to eat or away on a trip together instead of buying a present. The trip was our present to one another. For our birthdays, just three days apart, we would make it a special day for one another without having gifts. Especially in Georgia which would require car taxes to be paid on your birthday each year (seriously, who came up with that idea?). We sometimes did the coupon booklets where we promised a dinner out, massage, movie night or fun day together. Neither of us felt slighted during those times. It was what was best for our family. And we found many other ways to make each other feel celebrated.

But we understand the concern of just skipping those moments in gift giving. After all, who is the most important person to you? Why should they be skipped? So do what is best for you. So if there are lean years, perhaps a tiny token, or a joint gift. Find clever ways to celebrate each other. This way you are acknowledging the priority of your spouse without straining the budget. Besides special times and gestures will far outweigh special gifts almost every single time.

Discussion: Do you plan on getting each other gifts for birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas? Do you have a plan if the budget is tight? What is the best gift your beloved gave you?

Prayer: Dear Lord God, we pray we never neglect our beloved. That we strive to surprise, delight and celebrate the one you've gifted us with. We especially thank you for the gift of your Son. Its in His name we pray. Amen.