Financial Future

The bill collectors are calling. When you are within the 10 day countdown, final payment is due on lots of things: cake, venue, photographer, flowers. People are getting paid for services about to be rendered. It can be overwhelming for the one holding the purse strings, because all of a sudden all your penny pinching, all you've scraped together, all you've saved is now flying out the window in many directions. Some big gulps are taken as you watch the savings account dwindle, then realize it's not over when you need a little here and a little there for those last minute bits. For some of us, you are left with little at the end, but hopes for a beautiful, wonderful memorable day.

Unless you have saved for years and years for this or are independently wealthy, this is the nature of the wedding beast, unfortunately. Weddings are expensive. There are many folks who go into debt to pay for them (not the best practice for starting a marriage and budgeting). But I know my kids. I know they've worked hard to make wise wedding choices and purchases and to stay within budget. And knowing it's time to ante up just means the wedding is right around the corner, and it's almost time to celebrate.

Post wedding you will have new financial things to think about:

1. Merging bank accounts and changing names on utilities and other now common responsibilities and property.
2. Creating a budget for the two of you.
3. Creating an emergency fund for when the unexpected pops up. Financial advisers recommend three or six months of your salary in savings for this.
4. Setting goals for your future. Will you start saving for a house or a car or vacations ... or children. What kind of retirement plan do you have?
5. Avoiding debt. Zero debt is the goal, but not always a possibility (especially with house purchases), but make every effort to eliminate outstanding debt and prevent new debt. 
6. Pray. Give God your finances and every decision you make with your money. Remember every penny is His to start off with. Ninety percent of it is yours to do with what you want. Those first fruits, the full tithe, is His (Malachi 3:10).
7. Be content with where the Lord has blessed you financially (Philippians 4:12) and be sure to give whenever you can. Know that the Lord has blessed you to be a blessing to His children.

Well, my darlings, we're down to the wire. We are keeping you close in our prayers, hearts and minds and look forward to finishing up plans and celebrating soon. Find joy in every moment of this last week before your wedding. On this day, in one week Rob and Ayla will join as husband and wife. And we cannot wait to glorify God with you in it.

And then start putting money away for the next wedding!

Discussion: Did you anticipate correctly how much your wedding would cost? How difficult has it been paying for parts of the wedding? Do you have a financial plan for after the wedding?

Prayer: Lord God, all we have is yours and we thank you for it. Father, we pray you are praised and glorified in the wedding. We pray your children in attendance will see you everywhere in be in awe of you. Father we ask for your direction on our future finances, that we are wise with what you have blessed us. In Christ we  pray, Amen.

Premarital Counseling

For Daddy it was with our friend David Woods, a pastor in Tennessee. For me it was with Jerry Landry, a pastor in Pennsylvania. We're talking about premarital counseling. We would have done it together if we could have, but your Daddy was already living in Tennessee working at his new job and I was still in Pittsburgh in the months leading up to the wedding. But the minister marrying us insisted we go to premarital counseling prior to the wedding date. This was in the days before Skype or Facetime and in the days of high charges for long-distance calling, so we couldn't even communicate digitally for our counseling. Your Daddy says he remembers many conversations about sports (seems you meet with a sports writer and that's what happens). I remember discussing wedding details and marriage issues.

Daddy and I have treated this blog as a year-long premarital counseling journey for our children. We are sharing our experiences with you about various subject matters in marriage itself and different aspects of the wedding and reception. We are hoping we leave no stone unturned in this 365-day blog. At the same time, both of you couples will be having premarital counseling with a pastor leading up to your wedding date. And we highly recommend it, even after we've shared all this information these last 10 months. The Journal of Family Psychology published a survey which showed that couples who had premarital counseling were more satisfied in their marriage and had a 30 percent less likelihood of divorce over five years. We want you to ask the hard questions. We want you to glean wisdom from God through His servants about what marriage requires and what you can do to strengthen it. It's good to have an objective Christian moderator to hear you both out on issues like money, sex, raising a family, problem solving, health, faith, habits, careers, responsibilities, etc. We want you to be as prepared as you can for life's bumps in the road and different issues as experienced by wise folks who have been there and navigated through them. You can always learn more.

So look forward to your premarital counseling ahead. If you have concerns you want to dig into, write them down to bring up at counseling. If you have questions where you want to learn more, write that down, too. Don't hesitate to ask. This is a prime location to get that discussed and get godly advice.

Discussion: What are some subjects you want to talk about with your premarital counselor? What is important to you about counseling?

Prayer: Father, we thank you for all the souls who have gone before us in marriage that can give us advice on what makes a good, strong marriage. We pray the premarital counseling these couples go through is beneficial and a blessing to their happiness in marriage. In Christ we pray, Amen.

What's Mine Is Yours

The other day I heard a woman say this about her husband, "He spends his money on crazy things. That's why he has his money and I have my money." She was explaining the two of them have separate checking accounts. When I hear couples share that (the second couple I've heard say this in a month), it always makes us cringe.

See Daddy and I believe that anything we earn is our money. Everything goes into one checking account. All our bills, entertainment, medical visits, food, etc all comes from the one account. The only other account we have is our savings account. We combined accounts immediately after we were married.

Now you do what you feel as couples that works for you, but it always seemed to me that people who kept separate accounts were preparing for a future that I never want to think about ... divorce. Because that way monetary assets are already split up. Many second marriage couples I know keep separate accounts because they had "already been burned and didn't want that to happen again." But for Daddy and I, we believe that since God tells us "two become one flesh" in Genesis 2:24 (and Jesus reiterates that in Mark 10:8), that personal property is part of that. It's our house, our cars, our books, our furniture, our electronics and our money. Our intention is to never, ever divorce. We do not want to even slightly entertain the idea, so to keep separate anything to us seems like keeping that in your back pocket.

If you have issues with how your future spouse spends the money they have now, that is something you need to sit down and discuss immediately. And preparing a budget with what you have will certainly help with that. Write down what you make together. What are your bills: electric/gas, water, cellphone, mortgage/rent, cable/internet, car insurance, loans and credit card balances. What will you give to the church? What percentage will you save each month? What amount will you set aside for emergency situations? What is for entertainment or incidentals. If you can, create a budget without debt or eliminate any debt you have as soon as possible. Pay cash when you can (when you actually watch those dollar bills in transactions, you really think about where they are going). With this planning, keeping separate accounts should be unnecessary because you both will know where the money is going. It's being responsible.


Know that one of the biggest issues for arguments for couples is money. And that of all the topics Jesus talked about, money came second only to the Kingdom of God. That's how important this topic is. So give your finances to the Lord. Pray over what you spend. Discuss your budget needs.

We know perfectly happy couples who have separate accounts for whatever reason, but it is our personal opinion that "what's mine is yours." We are one, our assets are one. Plus, when you are newly married it is pretty wonderful to see a checking account with both your names at the top.

Discussion: Have you looked at each other's finances to create a budget between you? What are your thoughts on checking accounts? Do one or the other of you overspend? What are ways you can carefully monitor where your excess money will go?

Prayer: Father, we pray we will be wise with what you bless us. Help us to be responsible with our money. We pray we will always go to you for wisdom in spending. And we thank you for this mystery that is "two become one." In Jesus we pray, Amen.

Makes Cents

"Money, money, money. It's a rich man's world" say the lyrics of the Abba song. I don't know that's it's a rich man's world or that "Money makes the world go around," as Liza Minnelli and Joel Grey sing in Caberet, but I do know that wise application of it certainly helps in living in the world. A good budget will certainly go a long way. You need to know what you have, where it's going, what your goals are and still save for emergencies with what the Lord blesses you. Now you know I am horrible with math, budgeting, balancing and the like, but I can definitely tell you who is good at it: Dave Ramsey.

Ramsey has a class called Financial Peace University that I am going to recommend you both take together. The class teaches you how to manage your money, beat debt and build wealth. It teaches you to pay in cash, have emergency funds in savings, how to invest and budget. It's a fabulous class. Your Daddy and I commented that we wish we would have taken a class like this when we were first married rather than when we were in our 40s, but regardless, even at our late date, it certainly helped us. In Luke 24:28, Christ says, "Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it?" Planning is key. The slogan for the class is "If you live like no one else, later you can live like no one else." It teaches you how to build credit, without a credit card, how to give, spend and plan. It's a wonderful course. It is costly to take, but it is worth it. You can take it online or even do a home study, but we recommend taking it in a small group because of the feedback and advice you get. There is more information at daveramsey.com/fpu.

Money is not the goal. It is not the be all, end all. Having loads of it is not the answer to all problems. Daddy said in worship Sunday that Jim Carrey once said, "I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of, so they can see that it's not the answer." The answer is Christ. The goal, focus, the be all end all, is Him. Scripture tells us that you "cannot serve both God and money"(Matt. 6:24). 1 Timothy 6:10 says, "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs." And in Hebrews 13:5 says, "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So serve God, do not love money, and be content.

Learn to make good financial choices. In the long run, it will be such a blessing to you both. And getting a head start in the wisdom of it before you get married, makes cents ... ahem, sense.

Discussion: Do either of you know how to budget? What do you think of credit cards? Would you be interested in taking an FPU class?

Prayer: Lord, you have blessed us indeed with what we have. Help us to be good stewards of it. Lord, where we have opportunities to learn about managing the resources you have given us, open up the time and finances for us to invest in that learning. We love you, Lord, and pray you bless us to be a blessing to others. In Jesus, Amen.

Just A Little Something

I will never forget the day years ago your Daddy told me before I left to get groceries, "You have $100." Money was tight - it typically was, but this pay period it was particularly tight. I remember wondering how I was ever going to feed a family of four on just $100 for two weeks. I was pretty panicked honestly, to the point of getting nauseated. How would I make this work?

I started going around the grocery store, putting items in the cart, and truly getting sicker and sicker as the buggy got full. Finally, I just stopped where I was and prayed. I don't remember my exact words, but I do remember asking Him to please help me get what I needed for our family and stay within the limit. Then I heard my Father speak directly to my heart. He said, "Get only what you need." I opened my eyes and looked into my cart. Cheese puffs, pop tarts and bags of cookies were in the cart. I started slowly removing items that were more wants than needs and made my way up to the register to check out. Continuous beep after beep as the items were scanned, I could feel myself getting more nauseated. Then the total from the cashier: "One hundred sixty two."

"One hundred and sixty two dollars?!" I said feeling my stomach drop. "No," she said, "$100.62." I started weeping right there at the check out. I could handle 62 cents. My Father had me covered.

Our whole marriage, we have lived pretty much paycheck to paycheck. We foolishly didn't follow a budget in our early years and each had credit cards. While never having credit card debt, we always spent more than we had each month. After taking Financial Peace University by Dave Ramsey - a wonderful class on budgeting and money management we highly recommend - we cut up those credit cards. Those first three months were the toughest as we played catch up. We ate a lot of canned ravioli and stayed home a lot. But we have since built up an emergency fund savings account and hope to be better at allocating what our Father has blessed us with. But living as we have, we are well aware of Who takes care of us. Repeatedly we have seen the Lord take care of us financially. One particularly tight month when I didn't think we'd have supper on the table, a friend's freezer died. She had pounds of beef, chicken, pork and fish she couldn't keep and asked if I would want some. I don't know if she realized it, but that saved our family that month.

Brad loves to tell this story. Just after he and I married and he was diagnosed as diabetic, after insurance, the hospital bill came to $518. Brad wondered how we could possibly pay this bill with no money to our name. I told him we just needed to pray about it. Over a series of a few days we received $500 in the mail from family members who said they felt "we could use it." $300 came via my mother, who received a check from a woman in her neighborhood, who told her, "God said you might need this," to which my mother replied, "I don't, but my daughter does." I brought Brad's attention to this precious God of ours who provided for the bill. Brad's snarky comment back: "If it was God, where's the other $18?" That day, Grandpa Zimanek sent us a letter with a check for $20 which said, "Had a good night at poker." There. Bill provided for.

One time when Ayla was about 8 or 9 and we were struggling that month financially, she caught me weeping and praying about it in my basement office. She came downstairs and handed me a sweet card that on the front said, "Just a little something!" Inside she had cleaned out her piggy bank and given me a few dollars sticking out of a slit inside the card. It said, "From someone who loves you. Hope it will help." Even just those few dollars certainly did. I have that card to this day. I never forgot her sweet, sacrificial spirit giving as her Father in Heaven would. It was a lesson for all of us.

God has been precious that way for us every time. He cares for our needs. And we are reminded by the author of Hebrews in 13:5, "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you. Never will I forsake you.'" And in Phil. 4:11-13, Paul wrote from prison, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

Know that when you hit hard times financially, God will take care of you. Go to Him in prayer about every need. Notice that I said "need," but the Lord will listen to your wants also. He is a kind, loving and generous God and may choose to grant those also. 

I am currently reading a book called "Answers to Prayer" by George Mueller. Mueller opened an orphanage in 1835 with the intent on taking care of these children through prayer and faith. He recorded miracle after miracle of God's provision for those children for over 60 years. And you've read of our examples above.

Be fiscally wise. Budget. Do not spend more than you have. Pay off debt. Give 10 percent to the Father. But first and foremost, make God Lord of your finances. Be grateful to him in plenty and generous with His children. Go to Him in prayer when you are in want. And then watch what He'll do!

Discussion: Do you trust that God will take care of you? Do you have stories where God took care of you. What are some changes you need to make in your budgeting? What are some particular financial needs or wants you should go in prayer for.

Prayer: Thank you, Father, for providing for us. Help us to be good stewards of all you have blessed us with. Father we thank you that you give us our daily bread. We pray we can be a blessing to others in Your name and for Your sake. In Jesus, Amen.