How Do You Know?

Monday Joe Reeves was at our house with his chainsaw cutting long, thick branches into logs for our Christmas Caroling Campfire scheduled for Friday night. Out of the blue he shared a story about a man who was dating a girl and asked him, "Joe, how do you know when she's the one?" I thought Joe's response was precious. He said, "When she is the first person you think of in the morning and the last thing you think about at night. When doing for her becomes more important than doing for yourself. Then you'll know." This man married the girl he was dating.

I nearly melted when I heard him say this. Joe is married to a good friend of mine, Martina, and to know that is how he feels about her means the world to me. And knowing what a good man Joe is, I know Martina is in good hands.

That last part of his advice, "when doing for her becomes more important than doing for yourself," is key. Recently a friend posted on Facebook about how her husband gave up tickets for the SEC championship game Saturday night to help his wife out for an event at church. This fellow is a diehard Alabama fan and to know that he had tickets for this game and subsequently gave them up for his wife, speaks volumes about his priorities, his love for her, his family and God. Now, I'm not saying he didn't give up those tickets begrudgingly. I'm sure he ached a bit not being at the game, but he did it nonetheless. That's true love. And it works both ways, not just husband to wife, but wife to husband. Recently your Daddy switched a departure time on me for a trip we were taking, cutting my time by nearly 3 hours ... hours I had packed with things I wanted to get done. I flat out told him the earlier time wouldn't work because I had to get these things finished. But then I thought about it some and realized I could rearrange a bit, and if it was that important to him that we leave early, I would make it work. I did that because I love him.

We've talked before about how the best advice I could ever give you is the same advice given to me which is "Marriage is not about give and take, but about give and give and give again" and this advice from Joe enhances that. Phil 2:3 says, "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves." This advice is not just for married couples but for every human being. This is not easy when you have Satan whispering in your ear, "It's all about you," over and over again. But it's important to remember, especially with your spouse. See, since this person is always with you and always there for you, you may get to a point where take advantage of them or even be neglectful. Be sure you remember to put your spouse before yourself.

What makes Joe's advice even more special ... he was living the Word at that very moment. He was taking time out of his day to help me. 

Discussion: Share a time when you sacrificed something you wanted to do for the other person. Share about a time when you were touched when something you wanted to do took presidence. How difficult is it to put each other's needs before your own?

Prayer: Father, we thank you for the example you set in Christ Jesus about putting others before ourselves. Father help us to always remember to copy that behavior, especially with our spouse. And that we never stop. In Jesus name, Amen.