Nuts Job

Christmas day was a true test of couples communication. Daddy and I, Kayla and Anton and Ayla and Rob played in teams in the card game of Nuts (I have heard it described as Solitaire on steroids). It was hilarious watching each couple determine who should do what part in strategy. One would handle the 10-card Nuts deck or one would operate the leftover Solitaire deck and both would work the center Aces. It was fascinating to see how couples communicated with one another about who would get those jobs, how the jobs were being handled and how folks thought the play the game was going. For your Daddy and I, we played well together, but we had different strategies, and I could see Daddy getting frustrated with mine, saying that it "handcuffed us." I watched as Rob and Ayla's success led to a little peck of a kiss after each hand and a whisper of "good job." How Kayla and Anton had not established a job for each person at the beginning, which led to confusion during the play of the game as each tried to do both. As soon as that was determined, everything went well.

You could see during the play of the game who the decision makers were, who got frustrated easier, who was the encourager and who was more competitive. It was a fascinating study on each couple's chemistry, love for one another and roles each played. Initially all three couples struggled with both role accepting, communication and control of the game, but each slipped into what worked for them pretty quickly. It was not always successful in the play of the game, but the dynamics were fine.

Scripture says for wives to be submissive to their husbands for the husband is the head of the wife. And for husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church. It's all in Ephesians 5:25-33 as written by Paul. It's a beautiful symbiotic relationship which when out of kilter, doesn't promote growth. A lot of women will balk at the above instruction by Paul, including myself sometimes, but it truly works beautifully. If the husband gives completely of himself for his wife, what wife wouldn't submit to her husband's guidance?

Now that is nice and simple, but wives and husbands have different talents, thus each will take the lead in various circumstances that need taken care of. Just as Ayla was about to hang her new key hook on the wall she commented, "I don't think I have the technical skills for this. I'll wait for Rob to get back and do this." And to watch you both in the kitchen determine who makes better this or that, is a hoot. But you will find your rhythm. If anything needs fixed in our house, I'm going to be the one to do it. If anything needs planned or packed, it's going to be your Daddy that handles it. You will be a team and it's important that you work well together. From what I saw Christmas day, all looks well.

Now if I could just figure out Daddy's strategy in Nuts ...

Discussion: What are each of your strong traits in life? What do you think of the Scripture in Ephesians 5?

Prayer: Lord you have brought two folks with two completely different personalities together. You have designed marriage to be a lovely flow of strengths to compliment each other. Help us to find what works for us and to be encouragers of each other. In Jesus name. Amen.