The Inlaws

I asked Daddy yesterday, "What do we blog about for tomorrow?" and he said, "We going to have to write one about the in-laws." And we both giggled. See in-laws can get a bad rap. You have two folks coming from two different environments where they were part of one family and now are bringing those two families together so to speak. And while one is blood related, the other isn't related at all. And when you marry your loved one, interestingly, you're kinda marrying the whole family and every crazy personality involved in it. That can be a blessing and a challenge.

But here's the thing: bringing this a little closer to home ... a) we love our daughter, b) Rob loves our daughter; c) and while Ayla stands on her own personality-wise, what Rob loves about Ayla, we've had a bit of a hand in developing over the years. Just as Tony and Barb helped mold Brad, and Tom and Thelma helped mold Jill, so it follows from a formulatic standpoint that Rob should love us. And you can work that the other way for Ayla with Rob's family. Nice and simple right? Perfect happy extended family. Well, not always. There are conflicts of personality, but it does help to remember from a loving Christian standpoint that your loved one wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the parents who reared him/her.

Ayla is very close to her parents. We love her very much. Her well being is of utmost importance to us. We raised her to be an independent, wise, God-fearing, loving, young lady. We were strict parents and we expected much from our children. We laid the foundation based on what God taught us in His Word. What she does with what was taught her is all her. We have a very open line of communication, making sure that she knew she could come talk to us about anything, good or bad. We were certainly not perfect parents by any means, but we did the best we could and thankfully each had parents that set the bar high for us to emulate. We, too, are very close to our respective parents. We were both blessed in that each set of in-laws loved us as one of their own. Jill felt instantly welcomed and loved by Tony and Barb, and Brad likewise was loved and welcomed by Jill's parents. (Brad was so welcomed by Jill's extended family, that her Aunt Nicki felt quite comfortable laying a doozy of a fart on him when she first met him. You gotta hear that story.) Did we have conflicts, yes, but none that couldn't be learned from, and none that were relationship breakers. We just knew we were loved and loved everyone right back.

Respect your in-laws. Love them, honor them, understand the role they played in your loved one's life. You don't have to always agree with them. You don't even have to pretend to understand what they do, but know their intentions are most likely lovingly motivated.

From our perspective, because Rob loves our daughter, we love him. You are already a special, precious part of our family. That may be weird to you, but it's completely true. We feel the same way about Anton's girlfriend, Kayla. Matter of fact, we have loved all our children's friends as if they were our own children, so imagine how we feel about someone they love most of all.

Here's what we can tell you about us. Once you are married, we will not be all up in your business unless you invite us in. We might be a little in your business prior, but only cause you aren't married yet, so technically, she's still ours. :) And we say little, only because she's an independent young lady who can take care of herself. But if she makes a decision we don't necessarily agree with, we won't hesitate to express our concern in the matter. She's still free to do as she pleases. Our parents have set a beautiful example of this for us over the years. Again, if you ever want our advice, option or help in the future, we will gladly provide it, but probably not unless you ask for it. Unless it's unsafe, in which case, we'll probably step up and say something. Whether or not you agree with us, we will still love you.

Thus to make this all nice and easy for you - Rob, please know that we would love for you to call us Dad and Mom if and when you are comfortable with it. We love you very much and are so excited to welcome you as our son, with or without the "in law" attached. With love from your crazy about-to-be In-laws.

Discussion: Share your feelings with each other about your in-laws. Is there awkwardness? Do you feel welcomed? Do you see future conflicts? What traits of your in-laws do you see in your loved one?

Prayer: Lord we are blessed in that you love us so very much. We are your children and you loved us enough to die for us. We thank you for the beauty in blending to families in a marriage and pray that blending will be peaceful, respectful and loving. In Jesus' name, Amen.