Head On

While walking yesterday I had an interesting encounter with two mockingbirds. They were, I believe, engaged in a territory battle when I came upon them. As I approached, their natural instincts kicked in and they flew off. One flew in my direction then straight behind me. The other flew ahead of me. He got to the next yard, saw me catching up, flew a little further and on it went until he finally flew to a high tree branch to watch me walk beneath him. He looked like he might take flight at any second, but you could almost see him relax as I passed under realizing I had no interest in him whatsoever. So he stayed put.

I thought about these two birds as two different ways of dealing with issues. You can deal with it head-on immediately, or you can try to stay ahead of it, dealing with bits of it as you go, hoping the issue will pass you by so you don't have to deal directly with it. Let me say, based on experience, the first method is far easier. Let's face it, the bird that flew in the straight at me - head on into the problem, didn't have to keep dealing with me walking along. The other had to deal with this stranger trailing him over and over again and expended much more energy. Had he flown in the same direction as the other, the problem would have been solved.

In your marriage you are going to have issues. There will be various things that may get under your skin about your spouse. There may be communication problems. There may be different ways of doing things that cause tiny squabbles. And there may be far grander problems you have to deal with. You can dance around those issues if you'd like, hope they go away, try to stay ahead of them or out of the way ... or you can sit down with one another, pray together and tackle those issues head on in a loving manner. The latter is faster, kinder and wiser. But notice the key parts: pray and loving. If you go at your beloved in a nasty manner, you honestly are creating a new problem. No one responds well to that kind of approach. But if you go into a situation with every intention of loving the problem away together, you will see far greater and more peaceful results. But do ask yourself what your intentions are when tackling a problem head on. Is it to resolve it or is it to be proven right? If the second, then good gracious, walk away. It's not worth it. But if resolution is the plan, move forward.

You will waste a whole lot of time and emotion avoiding resolution. Do yourselves as a couple a favor and solve problems as they happen, together, with love, in prayer, for the mutual edification of one another and for the sake of peace. Because those problems don't typically go away. They eventually catch up with you. And then you have to deal with them anyways, so might as well deal with it head on.

Discussion: Have you ever let an issue with someone continue on rather than resolve it? Tell of a time when you handled a problem swiftly and lovingly.

Prayer: Father, we pray we always remember to go to you for guidance in dealing with problems between us. Help us to always look to each other's interests before attempting to assert our own. May we always remember to love first. In Christ, Amen.