In The Dog House

Saturday as Daddy and I were heading to church for Clean Up Day, we saw a double recliner (like our snuggle chair) at a garage sale. Your Daddy, who is so not a garage sale person, said, "I think that would be good for Anton and Kayla," so we stopped to haggle a bit. Within minutes the comfy couch was in the back of the homeowner's pickup truck with Daddy riding in the passenger seat to bring it home. The fellow helped us carry it into the Z Shack when he said, "If I'm ever in the dog house, do you mind if I come here to sleep for the night?" Your Daddy said it was the second such reference the man made to him. And it got us thinking ...

Do not ever use banishment to the couch as a punishment for disagreements. You may need a cooling-off period during disagreements, but kicking your spouse out of your bed solves nothing. It only perpetuates the problem. For one thing you're saying, "I don't want to be near you." For another you're saying, "No sex tonight, baby, so deal with that." Neither are loving. Neither solve the problem. When we hear about people doing this to one another we get so disappointed in that response. It is nothing at all that God would want.

We've talked before in this blog about not going to bed angry. But not going to bed together at all due to an argument should be completely off the table, too. For one thing, 1 Corinthians 7:5 says, "Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." So that opens up all new issues. Step back from your argument just long enough to have clarity and go to God for wisdom, but whatever you do, do not kick one another out of the bed. Your Daddy commented when we talked about writing this blog, "This is something that's not even on their radar yet, since they haven't had to deal with this." I commented that many of the things we've discussed in this blog are that way. But you can't say we didn't warn you and provide you with sound, godly advice for how to deal with it. So in this instance, make a mental note right now ... or better yet, just make it a rule between you both: booting out of bed is not allowed. Matter of fact, in those instances just go ahead and have sex. It may solve the problem for you.

Discussion: Do you know of a spouse who kicked their beloved out of bed due to an argument? Can you resolve as a couple not to do that? How could making love be a resolution to the problem?

Prayer: Lord God, may we never use exclusion from our bed as a solution to problems. We pray Father that the marriage bed is a sacred place. In the name of Jesus, Amen.