Dripping Rain

"Why do you do it that way?
"How much did you spend on that?"
"When are you going to finish this?"
"Do you always have to do that?"
"Why am I always the one to do this?"

Can you feel the weight of the above questions? It's grating, isn't it? Like scratching away at the outer lever of who we are. Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag. Another word for it is "pestering." Sometimes it's even called "hectoring," which means to bully, intimidate, harass and browbeat. Did you know the Bible warns against it? Proverbs 27:15-16 says, "A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one's right hand." We know Solomon wrote most of Proverbs, and with 700 wives, I'm guessing he dealt with quite a few quarrelsome wives, thus the verse above. But while it refers to a quarrelsome wife, that could just as easily be flopped to refer to the husband. And for that matter from parent to children. And who wants to have continual dripping?

So why the nagging? Every married couple stoops to it at one point or another. And honestly, it probably gets its start when a spouse has originally asked kindly about something to no avail and proceeds to the repetitive asking, then onto nagging. So how to avoid it?

Well, to start off, from the receiving end, try to deal with the item at hand as soon as you agree it. It shows responsibility and respect for the other spouse. But if you can't get to it right away or don't want to do what is requested, explain why and set a time period for it's completion or an alternative suggestion. This is just common sense and kindness, honestly.

From the dishing end ... just don't. How's that for simple? You don't like to be nagged, so don't nag. Back off. Think about what you're saying before it comes out of your month. If your spouse is not doing something you like or to the speed with which you'd prefer, ask yourself how you would like to be informed of such a thing. Proceed with caution and love, gentleness and respect. Let's see, how's that Bible verse go? Oh yeah, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." It's called the Golden Rule and comes straight out of the Sermon on the Mount.

You know what continual dripping does? Aside from making everything all wet, over time, it erodes. You don't want to erode your spouse. Something not to your liking? Pray about your approach. You'll save a lot of time, weariness and grief over the mundane.

Discussion: Do you nag at one another? What usually brings yourself to the point of nagging? What is something you can do to keep yourself from nagging? Is there anything you do or don't know that spurs your fiance to nag?

Prayer: Lord, You tell us to let our conversation be full of grace (Col. 4:6) and to imitate You (Eph. 5:1). May we say and do reflect as such. May we love, respect and edify one another. In Jesus name, Amen.