Pick A Side

A friend was sharing a story about her relationship with her mother-in-law recently. She said when her mother-in-law said jump, her husband asked how high. The mother-in-law would come over to their house and completely rearrange the furniture. When I asked what her husband said during those times, she said, "Just keep her happy while she's here." Immediately after her mother-in-law left, she would put the furniture back the way she wanted it. At Christmas the mother-in-law would insist on certain celebrations to which her son would instantly agree. When I asked if her husband ever supported her in these exchanges, she said no.

It was interesting that this story came on the heels of some marriage advice the pastor at Trinity UMC told me about more than a week ago. He said when he has marriage counseling with a couple, he always tells the groom the rehearsal dinner is pivotal. In his words, "I tell him that there will inevitably be a discussion about some part of the wedding where the mother of the bride will want one thing and the mother of the groom will want another. I tell him it is important at that moment for him to turn to his future bride and ask what she wants and support it, telling the other two his bride's decision is final." Brother Ken said way the groom lets both mothers know the couple is a team and that his wife will have his complete support. After hearing my friend Jackie's story above, I see the value in Ken's advice. Apparently some couples forget they are now responsible for their own homes and decisions and kowtow to their former parent. And if you are younger, you fear disagreeing with your parent will be disrespectful.

So there you go - stay tough and support each other, better yet, as the Bible says, "cleave to one another" Gen. 2:24. And on this end, as a future mother-in-law I will try to stay out of the way. :)

Discussion: Do you think there will be any difficulty in dealing with parents after you are married? Do you resolve to support one another, even if it may be against what your parents would suggest or want?

Prayer: Lord, we know you are our first priority and that our spouse if to become our second priority before any other person. We pray we remember to work as a team in support of one another. In Jesus Name, Amen.