Glad Bryllupsdag!

Several days ago I mentioned we would look into the wedding traditions of the nationalities that make up you both. We did Poland last Monday (Daddy's side of the family) so now we're looking into the Danish heritage from my Dad's side of the family. It's the origin of my maiden name, Lauritzen. It's like "Smith" in Denmark. There is a shipbuilding company and a bay in Antarctica both named for a Lauritzen. As for Danish wedding and reception traditions, there are some interesting ones to say the least.

One is the pine arch - called the Gate of Honor - built in front of the bride's family's house that she walks through on her way the wedding. The only other time a pine arch is used is on the couple's 25th anniversary. While we don't intend to have a Gate of Honor, there will be an arch you will marry under, so that's pretty close.

The groom picks out and pays for the bride's bouquet. Something you want to hand over to Rob?

For some bizarre reason, at the reception guests will take scissors to cut the groom's socks (just the toe part) or a piece of his tie. We have no idea why they do this and honestly recommend you skip it (or wear a cheap tie and socks).

To get the newlyweds to kiss, Danes bang their forks and knives against their plates (similar to folks hitting silverware against crystal to get kisses in American weddings). If they stomp their feet, the couple must kiss under the table. Not sure why, but interesting.

It is customary for all guests to have a piece of the wedding cake at the reception or it's considered bad luck for the couple ... so tell everyone to eat up. Danes also love to give speeches in song at weddings and receptions (like Hobbits).

In a truly strange twist, if the bride disappears (goes to the bathroom for instance), all the bridesmaids and female guests run up to the groom and kiss him. Likewise, if the groom disappears, the groomsmen and male guests kiss the bride. Um, yeah, we're thinking, "Thanks ... but no."

The most important Danish tradition is the bridal waltz (brudevals) that must be danced before midnight. All the guests dance in a circle around the newlyweds while clapping to the beat. They proceed to move in until there is no room around the couple. Told you these Danes have some interesting traditions.

So do what you want with those juicy bits. While we think most of these options are not really workable at your wedding (I mean, seriously, cutting socks?), they certainly are unique! And it is fun to learn what is important in different cultures for nuptials. What will we learn next from other countries? Stay tuned! We have a few more nationalities to go! Glad bryllypsdag (Happy Wedding Day)!

Discussion: What of any of the Danish traditions appeal to you? Were there any you are completely against?

Prayer: Lord God, we are thankful for the fun memories at weddings and receptions. We ask for your blessing on each part incorporated. In Jesus name, Amen.

Building On The Foundation

The other day in Bible study we were examining the story of the Rich Man and Lazarus found in Luke 16. The story tells about a beggar man named Lazarus who laid by the gate of a wealthy man, who lived in luxury. This beggar man was hungry and injured. Soon both men died. The beggar went to Paradise where he rested with Abraham and the rich man went to Hell. An amazing conversation ensues between the rich man and Father Abraham, which you should read about. But it was a question your Daddy asked about the destination of both men that got me thinking. Daddy asked, "Why did they end up where they were?" Obviously the answer isn't because one was rich and the other poor. Only God knows the hearts of both men and can judge those destinations, but it seemed pretty obvious what the rich fellow didn't do. Here was a poor, hungry, injured man laying outside his front door every single day, and he just walked on by. You never hear about him offering in any way to help this man. He didn't care. Here he was with all these blessings from the Lord and ignored one of God's children. His reward? Eternal agony.

We discussed in our study that our job as disciples is to reach the lost. We are to share the Word, most certainly, but we are also to share His mercy, love, compassion and caring. As He does for us, so we must do for others. Our financial successes are not given to us for frivolous purposes. They are given to us for His glory. It seems the rich man didn't get it until it was too late.

We have no idea how the Father will bless you both. Will you live in luxury? Will you live paycheck-to-paycheck? Will you live comfortably? That is for the future to determine. But this we can assure you ... you are called to care regardless. It is our prayer that you will not step over the lost ones. That you will see the sick, hurting, lonely, hungry, homeless and persecuted and reach out to them in anyway you can. Yet not even just those, but the ones nearest you who may have even tinier needs. Let your hearts be moved, be empathetic, to the world around you. Pray God opens your eyes to see the hurt around you and inspires you in whatever ways you can offer help.

God tells us in Malachi 3:2 that God is like a refiner's fire. He will look at all we do in this world and reward us accordingly. If you believe in the Christ, you are saved. But what reward you receive is based on the good you do on Earth. What kinds of good? The very things mentioned in the previous paragraph. 1 Cor. 3:11-15 says, "For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames." 

We aren't worried about your destination. We fully intend on spending eternity with you both. Our prayer is that you will have a heap of gold, silver and costly stones sitting there atop your foundation so the Lord can say to you, "Well done, good and faithful servant" (Matthew 25:21). And we'll celebrate with you.

Discussion: Where do you see the hurting in your area? What are ways you can help? Do you think you need to seek out the lost or just keep your eyes open for them?

Prayer: Lord, help us remember that all good things come from you. We pray you open our eyes to the hurting around us and enable us to be Your Light in the midst of them. Thank you for Jesus and His teachings. In His name we pray, Amen.

Flickering

It probably doesn't make a hill of beans in the strengthening of our marriage. But it sure makes each day special. That would be candlelight dinners. Years ago, I noticed when we visited my Grandma Swain she lit candles at every dinner. I must've thought it was just for our benefit as guests, but I asked her about it. She told me she lit candles at every single dinner. Something about it making every dinner with my grandfather special or romantic. I cannot even remember her exact words about it, but I remember deciding at the moment that I would light candles every meal I remembered. I try to do it at every supper (sometimes at breakfast and lunch, too). Lighting candles somehow gives some element of sweetness, love, warmth and value. Maybe it harkens back to the days of gathering around the fire to eat or back to the days with no electricity when people had to eat by candlelight. Regardless, it's a beautiful tradition both your Daddy and I enjoy.

People look beautiful by candlelight (and campfires, I might add). The flickering of the flames just warms up everyone's face and makes us feel all cozy inside. And when you think of candlelight meals, they are typically meals where something special happens ... holiday celebrations, weddings or proposals. Stress melts away, hearts are softened, people lean in closer to each other. Just makes me happier all around.

I cannot tell you how many candles and candlesticks for that matter we have gone through. Brass and glass, scented and unscented, drippy and non-drip, we've gone through many. I used to want two matching candles and candlesticks at the table, but now, I try to use a mixture (all purchased at Goodwill) and even coordinate colors to the holiday or season to change things up. I love the candlelight dinner. And I love that it reminds me of my grandparents nearly every day.

Do we recommend you do it? Well, yeah, why not? It falls along the same premise as "when do you use your fine china and good silverware" argument. Why not all the time? Why can't every day be special and memorable?

One could make an argument that "well, you like controlled fire, thus the candlelight at every meal," and there would be some truth to that as well. But honestly I think it's precious and sweet and hope you both will take the time to continue that tradition. For a couple that loves food, atmosphere, presentation, ambiance and the like, I think it is a perfect fit. Plus God had candles in the Tabernacle not far from the table of showbread (Exodus 25), so He must think it's pretty special too.

Discussion: Do you light candles at supper? What do you think of the tradition?

Prayer: Father, thank You for the light of candles and the feelings it invokes in us. I pray we make each moment, each meal, a time of love and sweet sharing, not just with each other, but also with You. In Jesus, the Light of the World, Amen.

Reunited

Today I am going to be back in the arms of your Daddy after seven days apart. Let me tell you, I can hardly wait. Maybe I am weirder than other wives, but I absolutely love to be with him and delight in every moment I can be (he would argue that doesn't include baseball games, but I truly even enjoy that just to be with him). There is something about just being with him that makes my whole day brighter. And he knows it. He asked before I left for Pennsylvania, "Are you going to be okay being away from me that long?" And I answered, "nope" flat out. He doesn't mean it arrogantly, like "she just can't live without me by her," but because I have told him countless times how much I love to be with him. And we've mentioned here before about the importance of being together.

Now I am not saying that I don't enjoy time alone. I think everyone needs that. But I am so grateful to God that I still to this day get excited about being with Brad. And he makes me want to feel that way. Good gracious, he asks me all the time to marry him, why wouldn't I want to be with him? And being one flesh and all, being 16 hours away really pulls at that. Plus, with sex being such an important part of love, especially for a man, seven days without can be quite a long stretch (wink wink).

We pray you will throughout the years long to spend time together, enjoy those moments and strive to spend as little time as possible apart from each other. While they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and perhaps it makes you remember how much you love one another when you are away from one another, it's still more fun to be together. I think it is as God intended us to be. (Sigh) I can't wait to see your Daddy.

Discussion: How do you both feel when you are apart? Do you think it's necessary to spend time together for fun each day? Why do you think it's important to spend time together?

Prayer: Lord God, thank you for instilling in us a desire to want to be together. And thank you for time apart that we appreciate each other and our time together. We love you, so much, Father. In Jesus, Amen.

Jot This Down

Yesterday my mother handed me a red binder filled with Bible study and sermon notes that she'd put together from over the years. Most of the pages are worksheets with my mother's handwriting popping up in different locations, whether answering study questions or writing down a sentence or two from a sermon or lecture she wanted to remember. Sentences like "God has programmed His moral code into our hearts. When you become a Christian, changes begin to occur in our conscience" or "Life is what happens when we're making plans." It's a precious record of a section of her spiritual journey. I think it's interesting that she handed me this binder the same day that Ayla said she purchased a book to keep all her sermon notes in. "I got tired of carrying around a bunch of little bits of paper, Mommy," she said. I have another friend who takes notes on a clipboard she carries with her everywhere. Typically, I have notes written all over the inside of my Bible from sermon's I have heard over the years.

Learning through study and in worship are wonderful ways to continue to grow in our faith. They can make you understand, appreciate, obey and worship the Lord even better than you have previously. If you feel compelled to write something down that you have heard, it is a good possibility the Lord is speaking to your heart to do so. I have kept just about every Bible study I've ever taken or taught and likewise the notes. Every once and awhile I will go back and read those notes or redo the study. It is interesting to me to see the changes in my spiritual life since that first note-taking effort. Or to see what different attributes the Lord wants me to catch the second time around.

Next month, me and about 10 others are retaking a Bible study I took last fall called "Foundations in Apologetics." It is an excellent study by Ravi Zacharias International Ministries led by various theologians and professors at Oxford University designed to "introduce a comprehensive range of apologetic arguments and strategies." The lecturers speak in a variety of accents and brogues and use a number of words that I needed a dictionary for. They spoke way over my head. But I gleaned so much from the study. After we finished, most of us commented we wanted to go through all the lectures again to absorb even more ... so we are. And new folks are joining us. I am excited to see what the Lord wants me to learn and apply this time. See, I have a long way to go with regards to applying a good defense of the faith.

Proverbs 1:5 "Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance;" and Proverbs 18:15 says "An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge." Never stop learning. Never stop taking notes. Retake studies to retain and discover new information. Not only will it make you better Christians, but it will also enhance your efforts to work as a team for the Lord in the growth of His Kingdom.

Discussion: Tell about a study you have taken that you'd consider retaking. When do you typically take notes during a study or sermon? Do you ever reread your notes?

Prayer: Lord, you have given us the gift of the Living Word where we learn something new every time we read it. We thank you that you have inspired many souls to preach the Word, teach it and write studies on it for us to learn more. Help us to be diligent is wanting to make ourselves more and more like you. In Christ, our Rabbi teacher, Amen.

Szczęśliwy Dzień Slubu!

You and Rob come from different backgrounds and nationalities, so I thought it might be interesting to check into various wedding traditions from the cultures represented. Not that you should incorporate any of them into your wedding or reception, but they will give you options and ideas nonetheless.

I thought I would start with Polish traditions since most of Daddy's family is Polish. Having been to several weddings of Daddy's extended family, some of these traditions we have witnessed first hand. Others I read about but never experienced.

For example, at the reception, tradition says the parents of the bride and groom greet the new couple with a loaf of bread sprinkled with salt and a goblet of wine. The items represent health, prosperity, healing and happiness. This is something we've not seen at weddings when we were in Wisconsin.

However we have witnessed the wedding march where the bridal party forms a tunnel as they are announced into the reception hall for the bride and groom to walk through. As they go under the arms of the first couple, that couple moves to the back of the line to continue the tunnel in a serpentine path throughout the dance floor. It's a sweet honoring way to introduce the new Mr. and Mrs.

Of course, there is always at least one Polka at a Polish wedding. Your Daddy and I used to laugh that little old Polish ladies that couldn't move would still get up and dance their hearts out to a Polka. Seems everyone enjoyed dancing to that.

The first toast and song for some traditional Polish weddings was the Sto Lat, which means "100 years," wishing the bride and groom that many years together. The song translated is "Good health, good cheer, may you live a hundred years."

Another tradition we read about include the bride throwing her veil instead of her bouquet to the unmarried women at the reception, signifying the next lady to get married. Knowing the cost of that ... don't recommend it.

One tradition I read about listed as a Polish tradition is the Dollar Dance, which is interesting since I just thought it was Pennsylvania reception tradition. We had a Dollar Dance at our wedding. Guests pay to dance with the bride. In some cultures, you drink a shot of whiskey or other liquor before dancing with her. The last person to dance with the bride in the Dollar Dance is the groom, who then whisks her off her feet and carries her out of the reception and onto the honeymoon. It is usually a pretty lucrative dance as many folks will pay more than a dollar to dance with the bride. We recommend that one.

Other traditions I read about include having change instead of rice thrown at the bride and groom (which they then have to pick up); a pre-wedding blessing; having Polish foods like pierogi, golumpki and kieska; and the fact that wedding celebrations can last three days (pretty sure your Grandparents Zimanek wedding lasted that long).

So there you go. Plenty to choose from. Could be fun! Szczęśliwy dzień ślubu (Happy Wedding Day)!

Discussion: Have you heard about any of these Polish wedding traditions? Is there one you think would work for your wedding?

Prayer: We thank you, Father, for different cultures and nationalities and the traditions they have had throughout the years. We pray you are glorified in all the wedding and reception events. We love you, Lord God. In Jesus, Amen.

A Couple That Prays Together, Stays Together

My mother gave me a booklet by Norman Vincent Peale - one of my favorite authors and servants of the Lord - called "Help Yourself With God's Help" printed in 1976. [A side note: my mother is good friends with Norman's daughter, Maggie]. There are various bits of information throughout the booklet about 14 different "problems," advice of which is on the front and back of one page each. One such problem is "How To Have a Successful Marriage." Peale gives several bits of marriage advice, many of which we've already discussed, but one in particular stood out to me. It said this under #9:

"NIGHT: Pray together before going to sleep every night. Pray together about all decisions and about all problems. The couple who prays together will grow together and stick together and win victories together."

Amen to that. I  know when you first started dating, you did that very thing. You called each other long distance to pray before you went to bed. I love that. I do not know if you continue to do that, but I sure hope so. Peale is right. Couples who pray together to end the day have given it and everything in their lives over to the One who controls it all. Matter of face, it doesn't hurt to begin the day with prayer as well. Showing you are a team, serving the one true God, counting on Him to care for you needs and solve your problems, praying together is a beautiful unifying ritual that I think every married couple should do. Matthew 18:19-20 says: "Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst." To be in the presence of Christ and know based on His word that anything you ask together will be done for you, is pretty reassuring. Now that doesn't mean he will answer your prayer as you wish, but He will definitely answer it.

Your Daddy and I pray together as often as we can, but I would like to make it a more regular occurrence, even when we are apart from one another, that we might connect with each other and with our Father ... so we can continue to grow, stick and win victories together.

Discussion: Do you pray to start or end you day together?  Is it important that this is a regular occurrence for you as a couple? Do you notice a difference in your relationship when you pray together?

Prayer: Almighty Father, thank you for prayer and Jesus' guidance on it. Lord, I pray we as a couple will realize the value in prayer together and do so daily. Bless our efforts to do so. In Jesus, Amen.

Apples Of Gold

The other day, I was out to breakfast with several friends and we were chatting away sharing all the things going on in our lives. There was much laughter as our stories were pretty goofy. Next to us was an elderly couple who had obviously been together for years. They sat in silence eating their scrambled eggs and hashbrown casserole. They may very well have been listening in to our conversations, which would have provided them with much comic relief. But I couldn't help but wonder if they didn't know each other so well that they just didn't have anything to say to one another. And it made me a little sad. I thought to myself that I hoped your Daddy and I would never, ever be sitting together having a meal where we didn't have anything to share with each other.

Aunt Jodi and I were talking about that, and she made a very interesting comment. She said, "I would rather see an old couple together not speaking than a young couple together both on their cellphones." Woo hoo, isn't that the truth? I see many, many people of your generation sitting at meals together not interacting with one another but rather focused on the technology a hand. Most people are wise enough to realize that focusing on electronics while in the company of others is flat out rude. The Father designed us to enjoy social interaction, thus the love of social networking, but as God knew this generation of high-tech communication was coming (nothing surprises the Lord), I do not think he wants us to ignore the souls in our presence for those who are not (unless, of course it is an emergency).

You may want to make it a rule to not use cellphones at the dinner table, so you can focus on each other. It is just common courtesy. But let's say that is the rule already for you ... at the beginning of this devotion I commented about the fact that this older couple was not speaking to one another. I pray you always have something to share with each other. If that means you take up a new hobby or volunteer somewhere, do it. You want to have new things to share with one another.

Communication is so important, and as you are each other's best friends, make an effort to invest in it sharing stories and uplifting one another. If you have to create a conversation jar with questions in it, do so. Proverbs 16:24 says, "Pleasant words are a honey comb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." And Proverbs 25:11 says, "A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." Have sweet conversations. It's fun, you will learn more and be socializing as we were intended.

Discussion: Do you have any problem having conversations? Do you think silence when you are together is a good thing? What are ways you can drum up conversations? Do you have trouble putting down electronics when together?

Prayer: Father, we are blessed to be able to communicate with you through prayer. Lord, I pray we make an effort to be in the moment and enjoy the company of those around us. In Jesus name, Amen.

Fidelitas

Last night, Gaga showed me an old white photo album with black construction paper pages. She asked me if I wanted it. Inside was a bunch of square-shaped, color photos, some faded with age, all tacked to the page by tiny mounting corners. They were pictures of my Mom and Dad's wedding and honeymoon. Precious photos of a bride who looked a little nervous; of a young crew-cut groom with the hugest smile; and then pictures of the two of them exploring New York City and Cape Cod together. They looked like they were having so much fun. So much anticipation and excitement for the adventure ahead.

I asked Gaga if she had any advice for you both in marriage and this is what she said, "I would say that trustworthiness is the number one priority. It's the most important thing. I had so much confidence in my vows. That is how I meant it to be. The commitment to those vows and to the Lord would fill me with tears knowing how much I wanted to be faithful to them. It was the same way I felt at each of you kid's christenings, making those vows to God about raising you to love Him and trusting He would always be there for you and would teach me to raise you. That trust is so important. To me trust in a marriage is the same as trusting in the Lord."

God never breaks promises. Ever. Everything He promised in Scripture He has made good on (or is yet to come). He promised He would never leave us or forsake us. He promised to redeem us. He promised to make our paths straight. He promised to send us the Holy Spirit. We have trusted in Him and He is faithful.

Trust is an important element in marriage. Husbands and wives trust that they will remain committed to the vows they make on their wedding day. And the reason they trust in them is because those vows are made before the Creator of the Universe. If the Creator does not go back on His promises, then we, as His obedient children are commanded to do likewise. It's what proves we are His.

Be honest with each other. Communicate. Stay obedient to the Father. Do not under any circumstance trust yourself. If you trust yourself, you will  most certainly fail. Scripture says in Proverbs 28:26, "He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe." Trust in the wisdom of the Lord. Trust in His Word. And be obedient to it ... to love and to cherish from that day forward till death do you part.

Discussion: How important is trust to you both? Do you feel you can trust each other to be obedient to the Lord? How rock solid are marriage vows to you both?

Prayer: We thank you, Father, that You are trustworthy. We thank You for Your Law. Lord, help us to remain trustworthy. We love you so much. In Jesus, Amen.

Thank You For Being A Friend

We have a style dress for the bridesmaids! I understand we had a tie between two dresses that the bridesmaids liked and Cristina, the maid of honor, broke the tie. Style F14867, long sheer chiffon dress with beaded neckline won the vote! I love how the girls all tried the dresses on and took pictures to show you what they looked like. The girls will be gorgeous in them. Now it is just a matter of sizing and ordering for each of them. They will look lovely standing on the deck off the Manatee River as witnesses to your wedding.

Your Daddy and I were talking about how each girl has had such an impact in your life. I love that each will be wearing a different color, but all will be wearing the same style. To me it compliments your relationship with them. They all have the same special place in your heart, but each one became a friend with you on this journey of life in different locales, has a different personality and has made sweet memories with you. Lindsey as the precious cousin from Iowa you grew up with as two "squirrels in a pot;" Rebecca, your middle school through senior year buddy from Wisconsin; Mary, Emily and Shay, all college friends and roommates that you met in Charlotte; and Cristina your bestie whom you met in Rhode Island. Proverbs 17:17 says "A friend loves at all times," and I know how much you love these girls and how much they love you. You have personal jokes and stories about each one. I love that they will represent all those different phases of your life. It was similar with me at our wedding with my cousins I grew up with, a childhood friend, penpal and precious sister as my bridesmaids.

You are not done making friends, that I guarantee. You have already added Lindy and Erica to your list of good buddies that you've met in Florida. And there will be many, many more to come, each that will play a part in your life. And more for Rob also. And adventure of new friendships awaits. And the best way to make friends is to be a friend. So I know you both will have them in abundance. This moment with your bridesmaids and groomsmen will be the starting point of a grand new adventure together in friend making. But the best part is, the ones you have, aren't going anywhere.

Discussion: Talk about the different people you've befriended throughout your lives and what they mean to you? What characteristics do you look for in your friends?

Prayer: Lord we thank you for the souls you've had us cross paths with on this journey of life. May we, Father, reach out in love to new friends around us and love them with the love you show us. In Jesus, Amen.

Munificent

Today your Grandpa Lauritzen is 75 years old. Three-quarters of a century! What a reason to celebrate! And we will! He has lived a long and eventful life, filled with crazy experiences (from a bit-off tongue to a frozen esophagus). He is witty, generous, logical (almost to a Spock standpoint), a perfectionist, can repair just about anything and out eat just about any human being while maintaining his slender build. When he laughs, he does so heartily. When he is concentrating on something, I dare you to break it. He's a sesquipedalian so when he speaks, keep a dictionary nearby so you can look up the big words. When he drives, he takes chances no one else would dare and somehow comes out unscathed. He loves his Lord passionately and never ceases to study the Word. He seeks mission opportunities that utilize his many skills. He has his Tom-isms, like "Expect the best and prepare for the worst," and "Who ever said life's fair?" And he gives the best hugs ever ... ask anyone.

That is your grandpa. Oh there is so much more to him, but if there is anything I would want you as a couple to take from him it would be his selflessness and generosity. I don't know where he learned both, but if I had to guess it was probably his maternal grandfather. He speaks of his Grandpa Holmes with much respect. I believe this man had the greatest influence on your grandpa, and I look forward to meeting him one day in Paradise. Regardless, your grandfather will certainly put your needs and wants before his own. It is something to emulate. One of my favorite stories to share about him is his love of Snicker bars, but not so much the love of them as the sharing of them. I remember many times seeing that candy bar sitting before him, my mouth watering, and him saying before taking a bite to help myself. Were I in the same position, I am just not sure I could be so generous with chocolate. It spoke volumes to me. I think, like him, we need to look at what we have as never really being ours in the first place, but rather the Lord's, and therefore share it. That doesn't just mean things or money, but even our talents. What is ours is ours to give and share.

Your grandfather is also a poet. I found this in a treasure box of mine. He wrote it to/for me Aug. 21, 1979. It says: 

A Prayer For Daughter

Thanks, Lord, for being with me yesterday

As my daughter did sincerely pray

My daughter understands, I guess

That prayers are always answered; blest,

What's really important to me however,

Is that my daughter knows forever

You will be constantly at her side

If only You she will let abide

I pray her happiness, unending;

Peace and joy beyond comprehending.

But, most of all, Lord, I pray she'll love.

We know tis the best gift from above!

Go faith, hope and love, these three her way

I pray ... and, Lord, mostly love, always.

                                                     Amen. 

 We pray this for you both as well. Happy Birthday, Dad.

Discussion: Do you have specific memories of your Grandpa? What are some traits above you see in yourself? How can you be generous with what you have?

Prayer: Father, thank you for the life and health of Thomas Phillip Lauritzen. Thank you for his example, wisdom and love. We pray for blessings for him on this his birthday. In Jesus name, Amen.

Mr. Fix It

This one is for Rob. It's for Rob because it's a guy thing. And if he is unaware of it, he will thank us later for bringing it to his attention. It will save him a ton of time, heartache and confusion. So before we get started ... you're welcome.

Here is our advice. You do not have to fix it. Now we're not talking about the Honey-Do list. Those things you most definitely have to fix. At least whatever you will be capable of fixing, anyways. We're talking about whatever issues, problems or conflicts Ayla is having in her life. You do not have to fix it. But you will want to.

See for men, that's what they do. They fix things. They are problem solvers. She has a problem; you have the answer. And you might. But here's the thing, a woman might not want you to fix it and may not think your suggestion is the best idea anyways. What she probably wants 95 percent of the time, is for you to just listen and let her vent. Now, that will be hard for you as a man to just let that happen. You'll be listening and instantly will say to yourself, "Ah - I know what she should do!" and proceed to tell her. But you can't. You just need to listen.

So here's what we suggest. First off - Ayla, begin conversations like this: "This is not something I need advice on or for you to fix. I just need you to let me speak." That will help Rob in the listening process. And Rob, your answer to everything she says is, "That must be very difficult for you" or "I am so sorry you are going through this." If, and only if, she asks "Do you have any suggestions?" should you offer any. Because you are entering shark infested waters. You are likely to get a sharp, "I really don't need you're help, just listen to me." Proverbs 18:13 says, "If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame." And James 1:19 encourages us to be "quick to listen, slow to speak." Proverbs 18:2 says, "A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."

There is a hilarious video that explains this situation from a male's perspective called "It's Not About The Nail" by Jason Headley. It explains perfectly what we've described above. Watch and enjoy. Your solution to her problem may be perfect, but it's about loving enough to sit and listen. Now that will be hard, we know. but do it. You will come across as the hero, and you want that. So patiently listen. And that goes for you, too, Ayla. Because let's say he does present a solution. Even if you just want him to listen, you, too, need to pay attention because he truly may have God-inspired advice for you. Ask for his help when you need it, but don't discount it if it's offered even when you don't ask.

As we said above, you're welcome.

Discussion: Have you ever had conversations where listening was the intent and a solution presented was the result? What ways will work for you both with regards to discussions issues in your life?

Prayer: Lord we are thankful that You are capable of fixing everything! Glory to You, Oh Lord! And we thank you for creating men and women differently and for wanting to love and help one another. Help us to be listeners and love first. In Jesus, Amen.

Like A Sunset

It started with a bouquet. I think that may have been the first picture you sent me after your engagement. When I asked what your wedding colors would be, you texted me a bouquet picture you have saved for years. Oranges, pinks, yellows and sea blues danced in this bouquet. So we had a starting point. You wanted all the colors as part of the wedding. And knowing how you've always loved bright colors, this did not surprise me. Then came the question: What will the bridesmaids wear? I should have known one color wouldn't do. So the debate went on between seablues and coral pinks for the bridesmaids. The solution: "Mommy, I want them to look like a sunset." So, off Anton and I went to David's Bridal to combine colors and see what six colors blended into a beautiful sunset. After several mixes and matches with colors that had names like ballet, persimmon, begonia and cherry, we settled on watermelon, punch, guava, coral reef, tangerine and sunbeam. A beautiful sunset of
chiffon, flowing dresses. We had our colors. Then the question: which girl would wear which color? And which dress design would be chosen? I know you left the choice up to the girls. You asked the girls to try on the three styles you selected to see what they liked the best and asked them what color they wanted to wear. Now they haven't yet tried on the dress styles, but they all have selected the color they liked best ... and the amazing thing ... they each picked a different color! What are the chances! So Lindsey in watermelon, Shay in punch, Emily in guava, Mary in coral reef, Rebecca in tangerine and Cristina in sunbeam. Unbelievable. Of course, now we have to see what the consensus will be on design.

I looked up wedding colors to see what the significance was. The Perfect Palette said couples who choose aqua blue want a wedding near a body of water and those who select coral have a tropical, beachy feel. Check, check on both of those counts. You have both. Color Psychology says folks who pick orange are fun-loving, uplifting, creative and social; yellow is illuminating, warm and cheerful; seablue shows ambition and friendliness and coral expresses love. Again,check, check, check, check. There is no way one color could possibly express you both, so this combination is perfect.

This could be one of the most beautiful weddings I will ever go to from a color standpoint. Bright, lively, fun, inviting and joyful are the thoughts and feelings they bring to mind. And what better words to describe the union of two people who love the Lord, love each other, love the folks they are asking to be in the wedding and attend and want to celebrate big. We sure are going to have fun.

Soooo, what are the boys wearing?

Discussion: What of the color meanings above, do you think best describe you both? How will you use those colors in the wedding and reception?

Prayer: Creator God, you have painted the sky in breathtaking ways over and over again when the sun rises and sets. How appropriate that this occasion should have the sun setting on this couple's singleness and rising on their new life together. May you be glorified in it all. In Jesus, Amen.

Where You Go, I Will Go

At supper last night when discussing Anton's post-graduation future, Daddy asked Anton, "If you got a job in some obscure place, and you end up marrying Kayla, would she go with you?" To which Anton responded, "If I got a job in Irma, Wyoming, yes, she already told me she would go anywhere with me."

Now for the record, there is no Irma, Wyoming, but his point was that wherever the Father led him, Kayla - were they married - would support that move and go wholeheartedly.

I can understand that. After all, I followed your Daddy to Tennessee, then Green Bay, WI, then Athens, GA, then Appleton, WI and now Montgomery, AL. I didn't always want to move to a different location, but I knew I always wanted to be with him.

In the book of Ruth, Naomi tells her daughters-in-law, whose husbands have both died, to go back to their families, as she was planning herself to go back to her homeland from Moab where she currently resided. One daughter-in-law, Orpah, went home. The other, Ruth, made a very profound and often quoted statement in 1:16 “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God." While this is a daughter-in-law to her mother-in-law, it is absolutely applicable to husbands and wives. 

When I was growing up, people rarely moved away. You lived near your extended family and celebrated all holidays and birthdays with them. All of my family, except my paternal grandparents, were in Pittsburgh. Now for your Daddy, while he grew up 6 hours away from extended family, every bit of them was in and around Green Bay, WI. The days of adult children not living near extended family are becoming more common. Most of my friends' kids have moved hours away from home and started families of their own. My own daughter is more than 9 hours away, and hoping someday to move back to New England. And who knows where God will lead Anton. But as you, Ayla, once so wisely said to me after we moved to Alabama, "I have learned that home isn't where you were born or the state you grew up in, but where your family is." Amen to that.

I am excited to see what adventures and new locations lay ahead for my children. While in an ideal world we wouldn't be too far away so we could visit, I think your Daddy and I realized long ago that when our little birds left the nest, they would not build their own in a tree nearby. But as long as you in your married life are together in those moves, all is well.

We know many couples who have tried the long distance marriage thing after job relocations, and honestly, while some are successful and unavoidable, we don't recommend it. When your Daddy got a job, I never stayed behind. I always went with him, even if our home hadn't sold. It was important to me that we be together. Marriage is difficult enough without adding distance to it. Make it a priority to stay together. God intended for you to be together, so make every effort to do so. Even if it's Irma, Wyoming. 

Discussion: Would you go wherever your future spouse goes? Is there a place where you would not want to go? What do you think of long-distance marriage?

Prayer: Father, we do not know the future or where you will send us all, but we know you are in control. Lord, we pray you guide our steps and make the path smooth enough that we can journey together. In Christ, Amen.

Acknowledge The Lord

We titled this blog "Betrothed In Faithfulness" based on a verse in Hosea, and if you know anything at all about Hosea, you know he was definitely faithful. He was faithful to his wife and more importantly he was faithful to God. God asked Hosea to marry a prostitute and on top of that, a prostitute who would be unfaithful to him. Hosea's life imitated the relationship between God and the Israelites, who for years were not faithful in their worship of Him. Like God who continued to woo and win his people, Hosea does the same with his wife, Gomer. Hosea was faithful to God through it all, just as God has been faithful to those who love Him.

Faithfulness is key in a successful marriage. Faithfulness to God and His laws and faithfulness to one another. Without either, the marriage will truly struggle and perhaps collapse.

To keep faithfulness to God, regular time in Scripture reading, time in church and in prayer are all ways to keep God at the forefront of your life. Know what He requires and adhere to it. Remember Potiphar's wife, in the book of Genesis, pursuing Joseph? She tempted him daily. His response to her was filled with faithfulness to the Father: “Look, with me here, my master has no concern about anything in the house, and he has put everything that he has in my hand. He is not greater in this house than I am, nor has he kept back anything from me except yourself, because you are his wife. How then could I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?" Gen. 39:8-9. Don't think for a second Joseph wasn't tempted. Joseph refused to even be it the same place with Potiphar's wife, according to verse 10. He was eluding temptation. But Joseph's greatest concern was about pleasing God.

If we made it our aim to always please God and be obedient to Him, marriages would be rock solid. Couples need to arm themselves daily with the Word to be prepared for Satan's attempt to derail us. When you marry, Satan will not give up. He will look for any opportunity to destroy it. Know that. He wants to destroy your faith, your integrity, your trust and your unity. And he will use whatever he has available and any weaknesses you show to accomplish it.

Make faithfulness your aim. When you are all googly eyed about each other, it is hard to imagine you could possibly be unfaithful to the one you love. But there are countless divorced people around the world proving Satan's success. You belong to the Lord. Be sure your behavior reflects that always. When you commit to one another in marriage, that commitment is for life. Our Father doesn't give up on us, so do not give up on one another.

The Hosea verse is this: "I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord." (2:19-20). The ultimate goal in this marriage is that you both acknowledge, love and obey the Lord. Be faithful to Him.

Discussion: Share examples of relationships that were not faithful. How did it change circumstances for the couple? People around them? Share examples of relationships that were faithful. What are ways you can use to support your faithfulness to one another?

Prayer: Lord God, you are so in love with us, and we thank you for that love. We pray we love you back equally so and show it through our obedience to you. Thank you for not giving up on us. Thank you for Jesus. In His name we pray. Amen.

A Time To Dance

When I first met your Daddy I asked him if he could dance. His response was, "Someone once told me as long as you move your hips, you can dance." Now he has never had a professional dance lesson ever, but he can certainly move on the dance floor. He just loves to dance. But when we're out there together, it's pretty frightening. I guess the point is, we don't care, cause we have fun.

However, there is that first wedding dance, now isn't there? That time when the bride and groom are front and center at the reception dancing together for the very first time with everyone watching. Your Daddy and I danced to Always by Atlantic Starr. We did the My-Arms-Around-His-Neck/His-Around-My-Waist Sway. Hey,don't knock it, it works in a pinch. Of course these days, people have all kinds of choreographed dances. I think we can thank Dances With The Stars for this movement.

The Lord loves for us to dance. It's all over Scripture. "David danced before the Lord with all his might." (2 Samuel 6:14). Psalm 150:4 says, "Praise him with tambourine and dance." Ecclesiastes 3:4 says "There is a time to dance." It always makes me sad when I hear of Christian denominations that discourage dance. Just watch a baby when music starts. They immediately begin to dance. God loves to watch us dance. We just need to have taste when we do. I don't think he's overly fond of twerking, for example. But I'll bet he loved to watch Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly dance.

At our wedding, one of your Grandpa Lauritzen's best friends, John Sale, was at the reception. John can dance. I mean really dance. My Dad asked him to dance with me. It was one of the most fun dances I have ever been a part of in my life. He could move so well, that I just needed to follow his lead and hang on tight. He made me look like I knew what I was doing. Half way through the dance he said to me, "Don't quit on me." I was thoroughly exhausted, but had an exhilarating time.

So our advice ... dance like no one's watching, as the saying says. If you are uncomfortable with how you dance, get a lesson or two. I know there are several places in your area that provide lessons for engaged couples, like Empire Ballroom Studios, Arthur Murray Dance Studio, Fred Astaire Dance Studio and Bradenton Dance Center. So look into them and see what specials they have. And remember ... the man leads, so let him do so.

And have fun! I know your Daddy and I will be. So right there you should feel quite comfortable on the dance floor, cause lots of folks will be watching us aghast at our pitiful moves in exactly nine months. But we won't care, cause there's a time to dance, and we will be.


Discussion: Do you know what you want to dance your first dance to? Do you plan to take lessons? What do you think of dancing?

Prayer: Father, we thank you for instilling in us a desire to dance, and we especially thank You for those opportunities to dance in praise to you. Father, is it so much fun to dance (and good for us). We pray we have a good - and safe - time dancing at Rob and Ayla's wedding! In Jesus' name, Amen.

Glorify God In Your Body

You both are in the food industry. You have been educated on how to cook, what tastes good, what goes together, how to make it look amazing and, most importantly, what's healthy. And that is what we want to focus on today.

My mom is in the hospital with intestinal issues. She's had these issues for more than 20 years. Some is genetics and some is poor eating habits. Now you can't do much about genetics, but you can do something about eating right.

Aunt Jodi and I were talking yesterday about how schools do not make nutritional eating a part of education. Not just teaching about the food groups and the number of servings you should have, but what exactly is healthy and unhealthy. There are so few folks who read labels on food, not realizing they are putting chemicals, and in some cases poison, in their bodies to eat. Your Daddy and I did The Daniel Plan last year (we continue to implement its teachings) and learned what we need with regards to good metabolism, what carbohydrates, proteins and vegetables enhance health and what we should avoid. Now if a product has more than five ingredients in it, we put it back on the shelf. If sugar is one of the first three ingredients, we consider it a dessert.

And if we see any ingredients we cannot pronounce, we will not purchase it. Let me tell you that makes grocery shopping more of a scavenger hunt. To find even one jar of spaghetti sauce with around five ingredients is tricky. But it can be done. And it can be delicious. When we eat right, we sleep better, have more energy, look better and feel better. When Daddy first started The Daniel Plan, he cut his insulin intake in half, so that is saying something. But it takes constant, every day planning. We only have one day at a time, so that's how we tackle it. But it is so important if you want to not only live long, but live healthily. 

Genetics already give you a disadvantage in some aspects - in our case diabetes from your Dad, diverticulosis and high blood pressure in my family - so eating healthy should be a no brainer. We want you both, at this early stage of life, to take care of yourselves. To eat right, exercise and get enough sleep. If our job is to further the kingdom of God, and our bodies are a temple to the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19), it is important to keep that temple in good working order to effectively do the first part. Scripture says in verse 20 after the above, "For you were bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body." That was a very high price Christ paid for us. Don't we owe it to him to take immaculate care of what He died for?

Doing it right at this stage of the game will help you immeasurably later. When I learned of my mother's diverticulosis, I made a decision that I would have 25 grams of fiber every single day. It means I eat Fiber One - a cereal not exactly known for its tastiness, but certainly for its fiber content - every day. Like Mr. Smooshy, my pillow, Fiber One goes with me on vacation. It's that important.

We are "fearfully and wonderfully made," Scripture says in Psalm 139:14. And in 1 Corinthians 10:31 "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." Before anything gets to our mouths, we need to ask if it will aid us in glorifying God. (And before you ask, yes, chocolate indeed helps me glorify Him; I just can't eat a zillion pounds of it.)

Take care of you. Take care of each other. Don't bring home foods that you know your loved one has little self-control with in regards to eating and drinking. Be supportive. And be healthy. You know how to do it, so do it well.

Discussion: Are there foods that are difficult for you to eat proportionately? Is eating healthy difficult for you? What are things you can do together to take better care of your bodies?

Prayer: Lord you have created us in Your own image, and how we abuse this body we've been given. We pray for help from the Holy Spirit as we face each day from a health standpoint. Inspire us to eat healthy, exercise and get plenty of rest, so that we may glorify you fully. In Jesus, Amen.

Unconditional Surrender

When asked what a first kiss as a married couple should be like in the movie The Wedding Singer, Drew Barrymore's character, Julia, says the kiss should be "thin, partially open, no tongue," then later adds some tongue may be okay, calling it "church tongue." Basically what she ends up demonstrating on her unsuspecting future husband, played by Adam Sandler, is a soft, gentle, sweet kiss. Works, cause Julia melts after it.

Anton and I were watching an episode of Say Yes To The Dress Atlanta (him begrudgingly), and they always end the show with a wedding. They showed the couple's first kiss in this episode (they usually do), and it was a tiny peck of a thing. Not even sure if their lips touched. Tone thought it showed little feeling. It reminded me of a scene from the movie She's Having A Baby when the pastor says "You may now kiss the bride," then adds, "but don't mess up her hair or her face because she still has to have her picture taken." That was my comment to Anton about this wedding we watched on the TV show: "I bet they just don't want to mess up her make-up." I think when folks are worrying about those things they've missed the point of that first kiss. I mean, let's face it, everyone loves that part.

History shows the wedding kiss had a couple of possible meanings: the exchanging of souls as two become one and the sealing of the contracted union between husband and wife. Whether one or the other - or even just because you wanna kiss - it should look good. I actually read something that it should be a five-second kiss to give everyone a chance to get a picture. I am trying to imagine a bride and groom counting in their heads, "one Mississippi, two Mississippi..."

Now we're not saying get all mushy and über sloppy, passionate up there making the guests uncomfortable, but good heavens, it should be tender, loving and have some staying power.

The very first kiss I landed on your Daddy was just that. He is way taller than me, and I kinda jumped up to kiss him. I think he almost got a fat lip over it. But it was a memory. Not one he's likely to ever forget. We got better at it of course. Our wedding kiss was a winner for sure. We hope that your first kiss as a wedding couple will be as sweet as some of the kisses we've seen you both share already.

Then don't ever stop. Keep those kisses coming ever after. When your Daddy and I leave each other any reason, we kiss goodbye. If I am in the middle of something, I have occasionally given him the quick peck on the lips, to which he responds, "That's no good! What if one of us dies today? Is that the last kiss we want to remember?" So then I make an effort to give him a better one. He's sweet that way. A kiss goodnight. I kiss good morning. A kiss hello. A kiss I missed you. A kiss I'm sorry. A kiss I love you. And the hubba hubba kissing (which I read burns 6.4 calories/minute ... you'll have to count up to 60 Mississippi for that though, hee hee).

Each kiss is special and important. Don't forget to kiss often. It makes you happy, lowers stress (even lowers blood pressure according to CNN), stirs the heart and some even say fights illness, helps in dental hygiene and is good exercise for your face muscles ... not even kidding.

So pucker up. Standing right there in Sarasota is a 25-foot-tall tribute to a famous one at the end of World War II: Unconditional Surrender ... yep, that's how we'd describe the perfect kiss.

Discussion: Do you remember your first kiss? What do you want your first kiss as husband and wife to be like? How important is kissing to you?

Prayer: Father. Paul told the faithful to "greet each other with a holy kiss" (Romans 16:16, among others). And a kiss after the wedding certainly is one of the most holy as two become one. We pray, Lord, even in the kiss, that you are glorified. In Jesus, Amen.

Makes Cents

"Money, money, money. It's a rich man's world" say the lyrics of the Abba song. I don't know that's it's a rich man's world or that "Money makes the world go around," as Liza Minnelli and Joel Grey sing in Caberet, but I do know that wise application of it certainly helps in living in the world. A good budget will certainly go a long way. You need to know what you have, where it's going, what your goals are and still save for emergencies with what the Lord blesses you. Now you know I am horrible with math, budgeting, balancing and the like, but I can definitely tell you who is good at it: Dave Ramsey.

Ramsey has a class called Financial Peace University that I am going to recommend you both take together. The class teaches you how to manage your money, beat debt and build wealth. It teaches you to pay in cash, have emergency funds in savings, how to invest and budget. It's a fabulous class. Your Daddy and I commented that we wish we would have taken a class like this when we were first married rather than when we were in our 40s, but regardless, even at our late date, it certainly helped us. In Luke 24:28, Christ says, "Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it?" Planning is key. The slogan for the class is "If you live like no one else, later you can live like no one else." It teaches you how to build credit, without a credit card, how to give, spend and plan. It's a wonderful course. It is costly to take, but it is worth it. You can take it online or even do a home study, but we recommend taking it in a small group because of the feedback and advice you get. There is more information at daveramsey.com/fpu.

Money is not the goal. It is not the be all, end all. Having loads of it is not the answer to all problems. Daddy said in worship Sunday that Jim Carrey once said, "I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of, so they can see that it's not the answer." The answer is Christ. The goal, focus, the be all end all, is Him. Scripture tells us that you "cannot serve both God and money"(Matt. 6:24). 1 Timothy 6:10 says, "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs." And in Hebrews 13:5 says, "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So serve God, do not love money, and be content.

Learn to make good financial choices. In the long run, it will be such a blessing to you both. And getting a head start in the wisdom of it before you get married, makes cents ... ahem, sense.

Discussion: Do either of you know how to budget? What do you think of credit cards? Would you be interested in taking an FPU class?

Prayer: Lord, you have blessed us indeed with what we have. Help us to be good stewards of it. Lord, where we have opportunities to learn about managing the resources you have given us, open up the time and finances for us to invest in that learning. We love you, Lord, and pray you bless us to be a blessing to others. In Jesus, Amen.

A Duo

Daddy shared an article with me that he read the other day about a man who was on his death bed singing a song to his wife that he'd written for her long ago. Some of the last words this man spoke to his beloved were the words of his song. The story really touched your Daddy when he showed it to me. I said, "Write me a song," to which he responded, "I don't think I can do that." I said, "It's okay, we already have one." Instantly I started singing,

We're a duo, a duo,
a pair of lonely ones who were meant to be a two.
Oh, a duo, it's true-o,
if we're ever in a stoop,
we know we can make it through,
cuz you've got me and I've got you! 

Your Daddy sang the whole chorus with me. The song comes from An American Tail, a cartoon about a immigrant mouse, Fievel, who ironically sings this song with a cat named Tiger. Interestingly, another song from that movie was sung by your Aunt Jodi at our wedding. The song is called "Somewhere Out There." We love this song because we came from different backgrounds, different environments and different parts of the country and it captures the depth of the love we have for each other. Its lyrics are:

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight
Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there
And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky
Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true 

Our dreams have come true. We have a loving, passionate marriage, a home, precious children, jobs we love and fascinating memories of the journey. I don't know if the two of you have a song that you sing together with sweetness to each other or even a goofy song like "Little Arrows:"

 

Here they come pouring out of the blue
Little arrows for me and for you
You're falling in love again
Falling in love again.

Little arrows in your clothing
Little arrows in your hair
When you're in love you'll find
Those little arrows everywhere
Little arrows that will hit you once
And hit you once againLittle arrows that hit everybody
Every now and then.

It's said if people get forgetful in their old age, the one thing they do not forget are lyrics to songs. It makes me wonder if people shouldn't put all their words of love to music so that they stay firmly put in the deep recesses of the mind always ready for recollection. 

Our marriage has been a song. Sometimes up tempo, sometimes in the minor keys, sometimes rocking, sometimes a melancholy ballad, but always a song. Your Daddy and I may never be able to write a song to one another, but we'll always be singing nonetheless. Cause "we're a duo, a duo, a pair of lonely ones who were meant to be a two."

Discussion: Is there a love song that speaks to you? Is there a song you've sung to one another? Do you have a song together?

Prayer: Father, we bless you and thank you for music and for sweet songs of love. And we thank you that lyrics and tunes can be permanently etched in our memories. Father, we love you so much. May we sing to you, "sing praises, even with my soul" (Psalm 108:1).

Schmetterlings Küsse

I am sitting here with tears in my eyes as I read the lyrics to the Bob Carlisle song "Butterfly Kisses." I remember the first time I heard it on Christian radio in 1997 and how I shared with friends, "Watch this be a huge hit." And it was. It went to #1 on the Adult Contemporary chart, won a Dove Award for best song and won a Grammy for best country song. There are several recorded versions of the song, including a German one by Cliff Richard called "Schmetterlings-Küsse" (that's fun to say). I remember Daddy and I both giving you butterfly kisses at night, where you flutter your eyelashes against another's cheek. Soft like butterfly wings, it tickles. This sweet song was written by Carlisle for his daughter's 16th birthday. He refers to his daughter in the lyrics as "one part woman, the other part girl." Beautiful description of a Sweet 16. But it's the wedding portion of the song that brings me to tears. It says:

She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.
She asked me what I'm thinking and I said,
"I'm not sure-I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."
She leaned over
Gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk me down the aisle, Daddy-it's just about time."
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don't cry"
Oh, with all that I've done wrong I must have done something right.
To deserve her love every morning and butterfly kisses
I couldn't ask God for more,
Man, this is what love is.
I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember
Every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses...

 Your Daddy is going to have a big part in the wedding: walking you down the aisle, officiating and the Daddy-Daughter dance. I know he is going to be blubbering at some, if not many, points during the day, because all those things Bob Carlisle wrote about above, he will be feeling. You are his sweet baby girl and he is handing your care over to Rob Goggin, a man we both love very much.

A few days ago, my friend Kathy Rackley posted a video to my Facebook page. It was a speech by a daddy to his about-to-be son-in-law, Philip, just after he'd walked his daughter down the aisle. He comically shares about asking God to make his newborn daughter like his wife; then after he felt left out, like him; then when his negative traits showed up in her, like God. Lastly he asked the Lord to make his daughter happy, at which point Philip entered her life. He talks about the look of happiness his daughter now has because of him and ends his speech by saying how hard he and God "worked to get her ready" and for him not to "screw it up." Laughter and tears during that speech. It is precious. I know your Daddy feels that way too.

Daddy-daughter bonds are tight. Daddy is a daughter's first love and hero. And daddies are very protective of their daughters. So when a man comes along, says he loves his daughter and wants to care for her, to give her hand over to another to care for is truly an act of courage for a Daddy.

There is another song I love about daddies and daughters called "King of the World" by Point of Grace. The chorus says:

"Dance me! Dance me around
Till my feet don't ever touch down
There's nothin' better than bein your girl
And if I am your princess than daddy
You are the king of the world!"

 On Oct. 16, my Prince Charming, your daddy, is going to be dancing you around as the new Mrs. Robert Goggin. Now I don't have any idea what song you and your Daddy will be dancing to at your reception, but I know either of those two above are good ones. And it will be a special precious time, just as the first moment he held you. We truly believe, as the "Butterfly Kisses" song says, that you were sent here from Heaven for us, just as we believe Rob was sent here for you. We look forward to watching you "spread your wings and fly" together.

Discussion: What does your Daddy mean to you? What song would you like to dance to at the reception with your Daddy? Share a butterfly kiss.

Prayer: Lord, you are the King of the World and we thank You for the example You have given us on how daddies are to be. We thank You for precious moments of watching our children grow up. And we thank you for the ones they choose to love, sent by You. We ask you blessings on their future marriage. In Jesus, Amen.