Let The Faithful Correct Me

I was getting ready to print individual pages of a document and when typing in which numbered pages I wanted printed, I accidentally typed a letter instead of a number. A warning popped up which said, "Unacceptable character." It caught me off guard at first because I didn't know what I had done to get the warning, but then I chuckled when I thought how interesting it would be if that popped up when our personality flaws reared their ugly heads. You know, when we say that cuss word we shouldn't have. When we gossip. When we're jealous. When we selfishly put ourselves before others. When we lie. When we have a short fuse. When we're impatient. The list goes on. During those moments, we could hear a whisper in our ear: "Unacceptable character."

The things is, we know what unacceptable character is. God tells us what the acceptable character traits are: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, generosity and self-control. Those are the fruits of the Spirit as explained by Paul in Galatians 5:22. But sometimes those unacceptable things slip out before we think. In Psalm 141:3 it says, "Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. Do not turn my heart to any evil." And later in that Psalm in verse 5, "Let the faithful correct me." So if you have a brother or sister in Christ offering you counsel, lean in, listen, repent and implement.

Set yourself to a higher standard. We are God's children and therefore should behave as such. It's better if we catch ourselves and change before others do the intervening. And the best way to stay on top of that is to be in the Word. Be in prayer. Examine our ways against the ways of Christ. The only way you know what Godly behavior is if you read what God says it is. 

Be especially cautious to be of good character with your betrothed. Often we take advantage of that relationship, and they don't deserve it. Don't they deserve the very best part of you? So be sure your character reflects the Lord of love.

Discussion: What are some character traits you need to work on? What would help prevent you from slipping into bad character habits?

Prayer: Lord God, you showed us through your son Jesus how we are to behave. We pray, Father, that we imitate Him and show people through our behavior that we belong to you. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Gently Correcting

The other day, Ayla shared a story about how Rob corrected her on something. She was frustrated, and Rob noticed her negative response and pulled her back to a place of clarity and understanding. He did it in a cute way, something Ayla really appreciated. In the sharing of this story she showed how they already are quite the team in the sense that Rob knew her well enough to see the direction she was going and could gently pull her back to where she needed to be.

That is something I greatly appreciate about Brad. He knows me so well that he knows exactly what to say or do to - in a sense - protect me from myself before going down the road to anger or frustration. And I likewise can do the same for him. But that blessing can also be a curse. Knowing what to say to kindly correct means you know what to say to bluntly or even cruelly correct or, sadly, aim to hurt. Since we have that intimate connection to one another, we have a responsibility to protect one another's hearts. Truth should always be said in love.

Both of you couples will correct each other a gazillion times in your marriages. Sometimes that correction will come at the height of frustration and thus will come out in the least kindly manner. Do your very best to remember this is the love of your life and to approach one another gently and lovingly with the intention to uplift, not tear down. If that means you need to walk away until you cool down, do it. If that means you need to pray first and ask the Father to prepare the heart of your loved one before you offer your suggestion, do it. If you are trying to help your betrothed be the best they can be, then be the best you can be. By the way, you will fail at this a bunch of times, cause the evil one loves to use those who love you most to hurt you most, so don't give him a foothold.

And if you are on the listening end of the correction, take it to heart. Ask yourself if there is truth in it and make changes. Scripture tells us in Proverbs 15:32b, "He who listens to reproof gains intelligence." Proverbs 9:8b-9 says, "Reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning." Notice that the wise and righteous man (or woman) accepts reproof, instruction and teaching.

It is an honor to love and be loved so much that you can be close confidants and accountability partners for one another. So don't take advantage of that. Be kind, be sweet, be gentle, be encouraging and most importantly be truthful in love. Together you can hold one another up as you grow closer and closer to Christ.

Discussion: Share a time when your betrothed corrected you in a way that really helped you? Do you have trouble with correction? How do you feel when you are corrected harshy? How about when you are corrected gently?

Prayer: Father we thank You for the many patient and subtle ways You correct us. If only we paid closer attention to those moments. Lord, we pray we are attentive to hear You correct us and heed the gentle correction of others. We also pray we likewise are loving and truthful in our correcting. In Jesus we pray, Amen.