Gently Correcting

The other day, Ayla shared a story about how Rob corrected her on something. She was frustrated, and Rob noticed her negative response and pulled her back to a place of clarity and understanding. He did it in a cute way, something Ayla really appreciated. In the sharing of this story she showed how they already are quite the team in the sense that Rob knew her well enough to see the direction she was going and could gently pull her back to where she needed to be.

That is something I greatly appreciate about Brad. He knows me so well that he knows exactly what to say or do to - in a sense - protect me from myself before going down the road to anger or frustration. And I likewise can do the same for him. But that blessing can also be a curse. Knowing what to say to kindly correct means you know what to say to bluntly or even cruelly correct or, sadly, aim to hurt. Since we have that intimate connection to one another, we have a responsibility to protect one another's hearts. Truth should always be said in love.

Both of you couples will correct each other a gazillion times in your marriages. Sometimes that correction will come at the height of frustration and thus will come out in the least kindly manner. Do your very best to remember this is the love of your life and to approach one another gently and lovingly with the intention to uplift, not tear down. If that means you need to walk away until you cool down, do it. If that means you need to pray first and ask the Father to prepare the heart of your loved one before you offer your suggestion, do it. If you are trying to help your betrothed be the best they can be, then be the best you can be. By the way, you will fail at this a bunch of times, cause the evil one loves to use those who love you most to hurt you most, so don't give him a foothold.

And if you are on the listening end of the correction, take it to heart. Ask yourself if there is truth in it and make changes. Scripture tells us in Proverbs 15:32b, "He who listens to reproof gains intelligence." Proverbs 9:8b-9 says, "Reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning." Notice that the wise and righteous man (or woman) accepts reproof, instruction and teaching.

It is an honor to love and be loved so much that you can be close confidants and accountability partners for one another. So don't take advantage of that. Be kind, be sweet, be gentle, be encouraging and most importantly be truthful in love. Together you can hold one another up as you grow closer and closer to Christ.

Discussion: Share a time when your betrothed corrected you in a way that really helped you? Do you have trouble with correction? How do you feel when you are corrected harshy? How about when you are corrected gently?

Prayer: Father we thank You for the many patient and subtle ways You correct us. If only we paid closer attention to those moments. Lord, we pray we are attentive to hear You correct us and heed the gentle correction of others. We also pray we likewise are loving and truthful in our correcting. In Jesus we pray, Amen.

Over The Threshold

Ever have this happen where you need to go get something and you get to the other room and forgot what you were there to get? So you go back where you came from and you remember. Psychologists say it's because you went over a threshold. Apparently our minds see a threshold as a border or closing to the events that just happened. Which is why when you go back in the room you remember. It's almost like you left your thought there.

Ancient cultures would say it's because evil spirits lie in wait in the threshold. And it's this same reasoning for why grooms would carry their brides over the threshold into their new home or wherever their first night of their honeymoon was. You sure didn't want evil spirits to mess with that first wedding night. Plus, if the bride tripped over the threshold it was considered bad luck.

Other traditions say the groom carried the bride in because she dragged into the bridal chamber kicking and screaming. In days of arranged marriages, we could see this making sense. They weren't in any hurry to get to "know" their husbands.

A threshold, the dictionary says, is more than just a strip of wood across the bottom of a doorway ... it's a point of entry or a beginning. And for weddings this couldn't be more true in starting a marriage.

Carrying over the threshold requires a groom able to carry his bride. I remember your poor Daddy struggling to carry this bride and her full wedding gown (let's attribute the extra weight to that, shall we) out of the reception hall. If it's a bit much, perhaps you both could jump the threshold.

So whether you are protecting your bride from threshold gremlins or being debonaire in keeping the tradition, might be time to do muscle building in preparation ... you sure don't want to fall and injure each other.

But it is a sweet sign of protection, so charming and a wonderful reminder of the Footprints poem where Jesus explains that where one set of footprints were seen along the beach is where He carried us in our low moments. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up the other; but woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help." Isn't a marriage a sweet example of this?

Discussion: Do you plan on being carried over the threshold? What do you think of the tradition?

Prayer: Father we thank you that in our low moments you carry us, protect us and love us so much. May we likewise be there for each other to support and uplift. In Jesus name, Amen.