Regional American Wedding Traditions

We have taken a look at wedding traditions all over the world. We've looked at traditions from Poland, Denmark, Seminole, Italy, Ireland, Russia, Scotland, Choctaw, Portugal, Czechoslovakia, England and Hungary among others. And we've touched on a number of American traditions as well, but we wanted to look at each of the regions/states of America to see if there are any traditions unique to the cultures there.

Now here are a few, but they are not all tried and true, especially since we've been a more mobile society in the last century, but you'll find some traditions that more frequent in one area that another. 

For example:

South: The groom's cake got its start here. Many couples in the north have never heard of a groom's cake. Sometimes the groom's cake is eaten at the rehearsal dinner and sometimes at the reception. Some weddings in the South may be held in the church, followed by a short reception of cake, mints and nuts - no meal, drinks or dancing. Also, wedding showers are never held by the mother of the bride, but rather friends of the MOB or bride. There also may be several showers.

Midwest: Bride's often have a personal attendant. This gal will be the go-to person for the wedding, running errands, holding onto emergency kits, making sure the bride is picture ready, etc. Usually this is a close friend of the bride that is not a member of the bridal party.

The Grand March is also a Midwest traditions,where the bridal party and guests form a tunnel that the couple go through at their reception.

North: The Dollar Dance is very popular where guests pay to dance with the bride and groom. In some areas of the county, if you pay to dance, you get a shot of whiskey to drink before the dance. And typically all weddings include a grand reception with a meal, drinks and dancing.
 
California: More often the not the wedding and reception will be at the same venue, and usually not a church.

New Orleans: They're going to have a wedding cake with cake pulls or the Ribbon Pulling Ceremony. Charms are baked into the bottom layer of the wedding cake with thin ribbons sticking out of the cake at the bottom. Single gals get to pull the charm out. Each of the charms has some meaning to predict the future of that single gal. An anchor means adventure awaits; a star means your wish will come true; a ring means you're the next to get married, and so on. 

In New Orleans they also have something called the Second Line signifying the newlyweds beginning their life together. It's a walk from the wedding ceremony to the reception venue. The groom holds a black umbrella and the bride holds a white umbrella. Guests wave white handkerchiefs and the couple, typically following a jazz band, will walk to the reception.

Pennsylvania: This state gets it's own designation for the cookie table. Relatives of the couple are asked to bring a few dozen cookies, which are all put on one table at the reception. You won't go to a reception in PA and not see the famous cookie table. 

New York City: Most weddings will have a Cocktail Hour at the beginning of the wedding and a Viennese Hour at the end. The Cocktail Hour is hors d'oeuvres and specialty drinks, and the Viennese Hour is desserts and after dinner drinks.

Northeast: Usually one bridal shower is held for the bride combining both families and all friends and co-workers. So a bridal shower may have 30-60 guests. Usually the bride's family hosts this.

Texas: Three letters ... BBQ.

Southwest: Expect to see some western elements like cowboy boots or a cowboy hat at some point in the ceremony. 

Hawaii: Everyone wears a lei. Oftentimes the bride and groom will switch leis during the ceremony. The feast includes poi, laulau, poke and a kalua pig. And often the Hawaiian Wedding Song (made popular by Elvis Presley in the movie Blue Hawaii) is played.

Northwest: Only saw one piece of information on this, but apparently Northwest weddings are very laid back and oftentimes the reception is potluck. 

Again, these traditions have blended a bit and may not be strictly to region now, but for many this is where they got their start. You can mix and match and pick and choose whatever you like!

Discussion: Are there any traditions above you've never heard of? Are there any you'd like to try?  

Prayer: Lord God, what interesting traditions are found within our own country. Father, we thank you for the uniqueness of these traditions, and pray each ceremony will be unique to our couples. In Christ, Amen.

Boldog Esküvo Nap!

We haven't done one of these for awhile, but as Kayla has some Hungarian in her, we decided to take a look at some of their wedding traditions.

I think Rob would have liked this Hungarian tradition, but when couples are engaged, both the bride and groom wear rings. They wear them on their left hand during their engagement and at the ceremony move them to their right hand to signify marriage.

In rural villages, the bride processes with her family and bridal party from her home to the groom's home, where she drinks a glass of wine and breaks the glass by throwing it behind her. She may also break an egg to insure healthy children. Sometimes she is given sweet bread, coins or will break dishes for good luck.

A civil ceremony is necessary before the church ceremony. While the bride wears white for her wedding, Hungarian traditional embroidered wedding dresses are red, covered in flowers and includes an apron and elaborate headdress. Often times the bride may change into the traditional dress at the reception around midnight. The bride gifts her new husband three or seven handkerchiefs (three and seven are lucky numbers) and the groom gives the bride a bag of coins.

Wedding are usually in the late afternoon. Guests participate in singing, reading poetry or sharing stories about the couple as part of the ceremony. Names are interesting in Hungary in that the last name comes first. There is no Mr. and Mrs. prefix, so to show the bride is married she adds an "né" (meaning "wife of") at the end of her husband's name. So Ayla would become Goggin Robertné and Kayla would be Zimanek Antonné. Although these days, the bride can have her own first name combined with her husband's surname - which still comes first.

During the reception a huge feast is offered with lots of paprika to spice things up. Paprika is considered to have magical powers. After the meal, there may be traditional Hungarian folk dancing.

Sometimes a guest will steal the bride's shoe, which is held for ransom. The groom usually has to drink champagne out of the shoe to get it back (ew, ick) leaving the bride with a sticky, soggy shoe for the rest of the night. The Dollar Dance is popular at the reception as a way to raise money for the honeymoon (where guests pay to dance with the bride or groom). Usually just before the groom gets to the bride, she's kidnapped by the bridal party. Again the groom must do some activity to prove he is worthy of her to get her back and head for the honeymoon.

Because the party lasts all night, breakfast is offered to guests in the morning as they watch the sunrise on their new life together.

Boldog Esküvo Nap! (Happy Wedding Day!)

Discussion: What of the above traditions do you find interesting? Which are not appealing to you?

Prayer: Lord God, we give you glory and stand in awe of the different cultures found in this world. We thank you for all the differences and as for your blessing on the traditions used in our children's weddings. In Jesus name, Amen.

The Dollar Dance

 It's called The Dollar Dance. In some cultures, it's expected. In others, they've never heard of it. In still others, it's considered an inappropriate request for money from guests who've already given a gift or, in some cases, driven far distances to come to the wedding. What it actually is a last minute opportunity for guests to dance and say good-bye to the bride and groom. As their last dance, they will dance with anyone ... for a dollar. Each person has about a minute or so with the bride and groom to say their good-byes before the groom whisks the bride off her feet and out of the reception. What it does guarantee is the guest will get some one-on-one time with the bride and/or groom before they leave. In some cultures, the guest gives a dollar to the maid-of-honor or best man who then hands the guest a shot to drink before they dance with the bride or groom. In other cultures, dollar bills are thrown at the bride and groom on the dance floor as they dance together just themselves. In others, the bills are pinned to the bride or groom as they dance. So you can see there are different twists. What is interesting is I read it actually started in the 1900s in Poland, so it's in the Zimanek nationality history.

Brad and I had a money dance. It's very cultural in Pittsburgh where we married. My mother made a beautiful satin and lace apron which my sister wore as she collected the dollars in a deep pocket in the front. I personally loved the dance because it gave me a chance to cherish moments with people I might not otherwise have had. While exhausted by this time of the night, it was a wonderful uplifting moment before saying good-bye to folks, some of which I never saw again (we had moved to Tennessee after this). We didn't do the shots. Just the dancing. Lots of tears were shed that I recall, especially when I danced with my Mom who I had been living with for the five previous months. I knew how much I would miss her.

One of my favorite Dollar Dances I've ever participated in was actually at my sister's wedding. My brother was dancing with Aunt Jodi and I was so touched by watching them dance, I cut in with them. After a few minutes of just the three of us dancing, our parents and then husbands joined us. Here we all were as a family dancing at the end of the reception to Celine Dion's "The Power of Love." I remember weeping a lot during that dance and I think about that precious moment every time I hear that song.

So I think it is up to the couple as to whether or not you want to do a Dollar Dance. I think Brad and I were gifted with over $200 during our dance (I think a few folks paid more than $1 to dance with us) which was really helpful on our honeymoon. It was completely optional for anyone who wanted to dance with us. Fun and emotional at the same time. We just wanted to make you aware of it to decide if you want to include it. The apron is ready if you do.

Discussion: What are your thoughts on a Dollar Dance? What songs would you want playing during such a dance? Have you ever seen a Dollar Dance at a reception before?

Prayer: Father God, we thank you for sweet memories and precious traditions. Lord, we pray whether or not there is a dance to say good-bye that our sweet couples will have time to cherish good-byes with their guests. In Jesus name, Amen.

Szczęśliwy Dzień Slubu!

You and Rob come from different backgrounds and nationalities, so I thought it might be interesting to check into various wedding traditions from the cultures represented. Not that you should incorporate any of them into your wedding or reception, but they will give you options and ideas nonetheless.

I thought I would start with Polish traditions since most of Daddy's family is Polish. Having been to several weddings of Daddy's extended family, some of these traditions we have witnessed first hand. Others I read about but never experienced.

For example, at the reception, tradition says the parents of the bride and groom greet the new couple with a loaf of bread sprinkled with salt and a goblet of wine. The items represent health, prosperity, healing and happiness. This is something we've not seen at weddings when we were in Wisconsin.

However we have witnessed the wedding march where the bridal party forms a tunnel as they are announced into the reception hall for the bride and groom to walk through. As they go under the arms of the first couple, that couple moves to the back of the line to continue the tunnel in a serpentine path throughout the dance floor. It's a sweet honoring way to introduce the new Mr. and Mrs.

Of course, there is always at least one Polka at a Polish wedding. Your Daddy and I used to laugh that little old Polish ladies that couldn't move would still get up and dance their hearts out to a Polka. Seems everyone enjoyed dancing to that.

The first toast and song for some traditional Polish weddings was the Sto Lat, which means "100 years," wishing the bride and groom that many years together. The song translated is "Good health, good cheer, may you live a hundred years."

Another tradition we read about include the bride throwing her veil instead of her bouquet to the unmarried women at the reception, signifying the next lady to get married. Knowing the cost of that ... don't recommend it.

One tradition I read about listed as a Polish tradition is the Dollar Dance, which is interesting since I just thought it was Pennsylvania reception tradition. We had a Dollar Dance at our wedding. Guests pay to dance with the bride. In some cultures, you drink a shot of whiskey or other liquor before dancing with her. The last person to dance with the bride in the Dollar Dance is the groom, who then whisks her off her feet and carries her out of the reception and onto the honeymoon. It is usually a pretty lucrative dance as many folks will pay more than a dollar to dance with the bride. We recommend that one.

Other traditions I read about include having change instead of rice thrown at the bride and groom (which they then have to pick up); a pre-wedding blessing; having Polish foods like pierogi, golumpki and kieska; and the fact that wedding celebrations can last three days (pretty sure your Grandparents Zimanek wedding lasted that long).

So there you go. Plenty to choose from. Could be fun! Szczęśliwy dzień ślubu (Happy Wedding Day)!

Discussion: Have you heard about any of these Polish wedding traditions? Is there one you think would work for your wedding?

Prayer: We thank you, Father, for different cultures and nationalities and the traditions they have had throughout the years. We pray you are glorified in all the wedding and reception events. We love you, Lord God. In Jesus, Amen.