Getaway Car With Style

It's a southern wedding tradition Anton is not very fond of ... trashing the getaway car for the bride and groom. A car filled with birdseed, styrofoam peanuts, glitter, confetti or rice, smashed with eggs, sardines under the hood or covered in shaving cream, plastic wrap, cheese whiz, vaseline, silly string or toilet paper ... for a very unique decor check out the getaway car in the movie Steel Magnolias. For some it's endearing. For others, it seems mean. And depending on the materials, could damage the finish on the car. Depending on the extent of the "damage," the response by the wedding couple could be positive or could strain a friendship. So trashers need to be cautious.

A safer more edifying tradition is decorating the getaway car. That's been going on for years with people tying aluminum cans or shoes on strings to hang from the car bumper. In some countries, they decorate the couple's car in tulle and flower bouquets. Others will have a sign on the car saying "Just married." In the day of our marriage, the car was covered in tissue pom pons, streamers and signs. 

Some suggestions:
Tissue pom pons in the couple's wedding colors
Streamers or curly ribbon
Chalk markers to write on windows
Vinyl decals
Just Married sign
Balloons

Avoid using tin cans cause they can spark or fly off the car and hit other vehicles and that would be bad.

Usually the groomsmen decorate the getaway car (although bridesmaids and family members can take on the duties as well). Hopefully you trust your friends to embellish your transportation. If you don't ... you may want to trust the keys to someone you know who will be kind and/or hide the car until the moment before leaving.

Discussion: Have you ever seen a trashed wedding couple's car? What was the couple's reaction? Tell about the best decorated wedding car you've seen.

Prayer: Lord God, decorating a car for a newlywed couple's first drive away from the wedding or reception can be fun and honoring. We pray our decorators will have fun and respect the couples and that the newlyweds will be pleasantly surprised. In Jesus, Amen.

Token of Thanks and Appreciation

They hold bachelor and bachelorette parties for you and showers. They buy matching gowns and tuxes which they will most likely never wear again. They sometimes travel long distances to be witnesses. They buy you a gift. They help you decorate and ready yourself for the ceremony. These are the bridesmaids and groomsmen. So for all they do for you, what do you do for them?

Typically brides and grooms will give gifts to their bridal party. More often than not they will be matching gifts, like jewelry for the bridesmaids and beer steins and pocket knives for groomsmen. Some couples give each member of the bridal party a frame to put in a picture of them together from the wedding. For bridesmaids we've seen perfume, robes, slippers, candles, compacts, monogrammed bags, cups, cosmetic bags, nail polish and shoes. For groomsmen we've seen watches, money clips, belt buckles, ties, whiskey, flashlights, bottle openers, cigars, sweatshirts, suspenders, bobble head dolls, mugs and cufflinks. Anything goes, even gift cards.

Brad and I gave all the bridesmaids matching sapphire jewelry but then at our rehearsal dinner had individual gifts for each person in the bridal party representing our relationship to them. My sister got a Precious Moments statue (which she collected) of a maid of honor. My junior bridesmaid, Lizzy, got a doll (which she says her daughter plays with to this day). My brother, a groomsman, got a Walter Payton Bears jersey. My penpal got a plaque about how letters give wings to the heart. One of Daddy's friends got an 8x10 photo of himself on the California coast shot on a trip he went on with him. Each gift was unique and special from us to them. We wanted each person to know how much they meant to us and recognized them individually.

I know Ayla and Rob have both made progress on their bridal party gifts (and they are really nice). To be surrounded by your besties at this most important day of your life together is a pretty wonderful memory to have. So to leave them with a token of appreciation and an extra memory is so important. Philippians 1:3 says, "I thank my God every time I remember you." This is a precious way to do so.

Discussion: What have you thought about bridal party gifts? Have you ever received a bridal party gift? What do these gifts mean to the receiver?

Prayer: Lord God, thank you for the precious friends and family who will participating in these weddings. We thank you every time we remember their value to us. We ask for blessings on them all and protection as wedding dates approach. And pray we find them just the right thank you gift. In Christ, Amen.

Iron Sharpens Iron

We have groomsmen ... for both weddings! Rob will have his brother, Anton and two friends. Anton will have his best buddy, Carter, three other friends and Kayla's brother, Tommy. So the guys are covered. Now it's tux, shoes, cummerbund, tie and boutonniere deciding time.

Like the bridesmaids, groomsmen were selected to confuse evil spirits or enemies as to who the groom was, thus they all dressed like the groom. They groomsmen would protect the bride and bridesmaids from any potential kidnappers.

Nowadays, they are pretty much responsible for supporting the groom (keeping him relaxed, having fun, running last minute errands, reminding him of what he needs), holding a bachelor party for him, seating people and accompanying the bridesmaids down the aisle. The best man is responsible for holding the wedding rings (unless there is a ring bearer) and giving a toast at the reception.

These fellows are an important part of the ceremony and reception, because guys need all the support and encouragement they can get on this special day. But not only that, guys need friends, support and encouragement throughout their lives. God has men as the spiritual heads of their home, providers and leaders. It's a tall order for men, so to have a support group of friends in these endeavors is very important.

Scripture tells us in Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another," showing how important it is to have male friends in your life that can hold you accountable, don't hesitate to correct you and can support you when you need it. A friend like that is a treasure indeed and needs to selected carefully. In Proverbs 12:26 it says, "The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray." Then in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." Everyone needs a good friend.

Thankful that both Anton and Rob will be surrounded by men they count as dear friends and family.

Discussion: For the guys, who is the one person you count as your closest friend (aside from your fiance) and why? Why are close friendships important?

Prayer: Lord, we thank You for close friends that we can count on. Thank you for bringing those souls into our lives that mean so much to us. We pray that we can be the friends you ask us to be, loving at all times (Prov. 17:17). In Jesus, Amen.

Wedding Witnesses

Last week when your bestfriend Cristina visited you from California, you presented her with a ring pop and asked "Will you be my maid-of-honor." It was a sweet, unique and personal way to ask your "media naranja" (for the non-Spanish-speaking folk reading this: "the other half of your orange") to step forward in this special position in your wedding. She said yes as I expected even commenting that her future fiance would have to work hard to top that proposal. And I so enjoyed seeing the cards you made for the young ladies you have selected to be your bridesmaids. While each girl received a card with the same background on the front, you made each card unique to each girl, from the title on front, to the note inside, to the salutation at the end. Inside jokes abounded as you preciously asked each one to serve. You wanted each young lady to have her own personal invite, taking you much time as you created each one.

Choosing bridesmaids or groomsmen is mostly a selection of close friends these days. The bridesmaids plan showers and bachelorette parties, help the bride with decisions prior to the wedding and assist her during the wedding. The groomsmen are supposed to similarly assist the groom.

But years and years ago, being a bridesmaid or groomsman was a scary prospect. Roman law required 10 witnesses to a wedding, five looking like the bride and five like the groom. This was done for two reasons: One was so that evil spirits would be confused as to which was the bride and groom to prevent cursing them; Another was so that kidnappers wanting to hold brides for ransom for their dowries wouldn't know which woman was the actual bride. The groomsmen were to help the groom fend off attackers and protect the bride. Tough job! Cursed or kidnapped?! Brave young women said yes to the bridesmaid request centuries ago. It's far safer now. The toughest part these days is coming up with the funds for the dress, tux or shoes!

When you and I were talking about who would be in your wedding party, I said, "Select friends who value that this is a bond before God and will hold you accountable in your marriage." Ephesians 4:1-6 says "I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all." That witness before God to us is the most important part of their jobs. I think you have certainly done well in selecting folks to do that for you. And I believe as you have served in several weddings, you have done the same. How fun it is to face the love of your life and say your vows as your dearest friends stand with you to back you up and rejoice with you. How blessed you both are to have such wonderful friends to count on!

Now the next tough part ... what will they wear?

Discussion: Tell each other why each person was selected to be part of the bridal party. How have these individuals inspired your spiritual journeys?

Prayer: We thank you, Father, for the sweet souls you have brought across the paths of Rob and Ayla, who have uplifted them in this journey of life. And we thank you in advance for those who will serve on the wedding party. We ask for blessings for all of them as each will have quite a journey to make next fall to get to the wedding. We love you so much. In Jesus, Amen.