To Move Forward

Brad and I watched an ESPN show Tuesday night called E:60 that featured the story of domestic abuse victim Carmen Tarleton. Her estranged husband beat her with a baseball bat, then covered her in industrial strength lye which gave her 3rd and 4th degree burns over 80 percent of her body. She miraculously survived this horrific attack. After a three-month induced coma and 60 surgeries, Carmen received a face transplant last year. While legally blind, she can even smile a little bit now. Her ex-husband is serving a 30-year sentence for the crime of maiming. She said at his trial she is in pain every day of her life.

This story brought your father and I to tears. To see what this woman suffered, and still suffers, is heart-wrenching. But she commented in the show she would never want to go back to who she was before. She has moved forward, has a new life and, as of Monday night, a first grandbaby. Forgiveness brought her to that place. She made this comment about it:

"It freed me because forgiveness really is what you do for yourself. It's not about releasing him of what he did. Forgiveness is what you do for yourself to move forward."

If a woman who has going through what she did can forgive her attacker, do we have any excuse to not forgive those who hurt us? And for that matter, if our Savior can forgive us for the sins He carried on our behalf, again do we have any excuse not to do the same?

In your relationship you will have trials that face you, and they will be difficult. You may do or say something that is truly tough for the other to take and, for that matter, forgive. But we as Christians are called to do that. In the prayer Christ taught us to pray he said, "Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us." [Some translations have trespasses or debts for the word sin, but they mean the same.] In Matthew 6:14-15, He goes on to say, "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Ouch! Our Father will not forgive our sins if we don't forgive. That is a tough price to pay for unforgiveness.

Notice that Carmen says in her quote that her forgiveness doesn't release her attacker from what he's done. In other words, we will still pay the consequences of our sin. We are responsible for every choice we make. But praise God Almighty, He forgives us, giving us chance after chance to grow.

Praying when you both get in a circumstance where forgiveness is necessary, that you will do so wholeheartedly, graciously and expediently. Or when you are the one who requires forgiveness that you will acknowledge it and ask for it quickly and sincerely. While not always easy, as Carmen said, it frees you ... to move forward.

Discussion: Tell of an experiences in your life where you received or gave forgiveness. What did it do for you? How can the two of you be careful to make a conscious effort to forgive each other?

Prayer: Redeeming God, how do we ever not forgive when you are so merciful enough to die for us? Lord help us to be aware of situations in our lives where we may need to ask for forgiveness or where we need to forgive someone a wrong against us. In the name of the Savior, Amen.