You Get More Out Of It

The year before Ayla was born a movie came out called Parenthood. It starred Steve Martin, Mary Steenbergen, Keanu Reeves, Rick Moranis, Jason Robards, Dianne Wiest and many more. It's a classic movie with quotable line after quotable line in its dialogue. And it looks at many different, goofy things about family. It is a movie that will make you laugh, question and cry. It's precious.

Many scenes are favorites, but there one in particular that really hit home for us. It is a scene later in the movie when it seems like everything is going wrong for the lead character, Gil Buckman: job, family, extracurricular activities, parenting skills. It is at this moment that Grandma walks in. She's been portrayed at this point in the movie as having a little bit of dementia and a number of jokes are made at her expense. She walks in during the middle of an argument Gil is having with his wife. Grandma interrupts and says, "You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster ... Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride! I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it." Gil patronizes her as she leaves the room, but his wife completely gets the sweet woman's allegory. Life is a rollercoaster. Fun, thrilling, exhilarating, scary, fast, rickety, wild and - if you're on the Thunderbolt in Kennywood in West Mifflin, PA - partially in the dark. There is a lot of screaming, laughter, nausea, increased heart rate ... talking about life now, not the roller coaster.

It is that way. Sometimes it can be the most amazingly beautiful, happy, perfect time and at others terrifying, frustrating, unfair and complicated. But that is life. It is no merry-go-round. Or at least it doesn't stay that way for long.

You sweet ones have had so much happen to you in your young lives. You've seen the things mentioned above. And I would love to tell you that after you marry that whole "happily ever after" thing comes true, but the fact is, that's not the case. There are going to be some not-so-happy times. Matter of fact Scripture tells us there will definitely be suffering. 1 Peter 4:12-13 says, "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed." Romans 5:3-4 says: "Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." As Grandma explains above in preferring the roller coaster to the merry-go-round, "You get more out of it."

So suffering will happen, but it's how you react to those times that matters. It will grow you, but ultimately it will lead to the very last thing mentioned in that Roman's verse above ... hope.

I think that is the blessing of being a Christian in marriage. Because you know you're not going through life alone. And I'm not talking about having each other. You are on this journey with, and to, Christ. He will "never leave you or forsake you," Deut. 31:6 says. And in Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." 

There is a poem by Mary Stevenson called "Footprints" which she wrote in 1936. It tells of a man dreaming of walking the beach with God and seeing his journey in life. At the lowest points in his life he doesn't see two sets of prints, but rather one and wonders why the Lord has abandoned him in his time of need. The Lord sets him straight and tells him where he sees one set of prints is when the Lord was carrying him.

How appropriate that the two of you are currently planning on marrying on the beach, a place where you will see your footprints behind you down the aisle just after you are named husband and wife, side-by-side. Know that the Father is walking with you. Keep your eyes on Him always. Lean on Him. Ask him to guide your steps. And know that wherever you go and whatever twists and turns, climbs, plummets, loops, dark tunnels, ridiculous speeds and abrupt stops you go through on this rollercoaster, He is along for the ride and has you in His tender care.

Discussion: Tell about some of the actual roller coasters you have ridden. Tell about some roller coaster moments in your life. Would you prefer the merry-go-round?

Prayer: Lord God, we have no idea what tomorrow brings. We pray as we go on this journey together, that you are right there with us. That we constantly go to you, not just in the tough times, but in the joyous moments as well. Help us to grow through our experiences and through it all glorify Your name. In Jesus who carry us, Amen.