Holiday Celebrations

Growing up, our family did holidays big. Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween ... we had fun. The relatives got together and we would giggle with our cousins till the dreaded "Kids it's time to go," would be shouted by the parents. The memories I have of those celebrations are wonderful. Birthday cakes decorated by my mother. Bountiful feasts for the holidays. Decorations everywhere. They were happy times. When I met Brad, his family celebrated holidays a little differently. Since his immediate family lived away from grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, the celebrations weren't nearly as big, unless they made the trip to Wisconsin to be with them.

Consequently when Brad and I married, we were joining two very different ways of celebrating together. Like Brad's family, we lived far from our extended families, so unless we traveled to Iowa or Pennsylvania (or they traveled here), our holidays became personal affairs, oftentimes including church families in celebrations. We celebrated many Thanksgivings and Easters at parties described as "for families without families." Our Christmas Caroling Campfire has included anyone and everyone (neighbors, church friends, co-workers, co-volunteers) who wanted to celebrate the newborn Christ. We never took our costumed kids to trick-or-treat at their grandparents on Halloween because they didn't live near by. July 4th was always with friends usually swimming in someone's pool then off to the fireworks. Brad and I never forgot to celebrate our anniversary and Valentine's Day in a special and romantic way. And birthdays are a big deal ... all about the person celebrating. With our kids we had birthday parties every single year as they were growing up (lake parties, quinceanera, sweet sixteen, scavenger hunts, water slides, pinatas, princess parties, sports themes). I wanted our family celebrations to be as big and wonderful as I remembered mine as a child. And I think, with our church families and friends, we accomplished that.

I am a big proponent of making memories ... every day if possible (Brad says I need it on a T-shirt: "Make A Memory"). So getting together with family and friends to celebrate is a big part of that. Each holiday only comes around once each year, so I believe in really enjoying each one. Brad wasn't as crazy about big celebrations except on Thanksgiving (let's face it - feast and football, what's not to love?), but, bless him, he not only put up with my big shebangs, but even planned a few (15th Anniversary Surprise Wedding Vow Renewal, anyone? Or 49th birthday Beach Surprise with the kids?).

You couples are coming from different background and traditions with how you celebrate. You may have different foods you eat, ways you open gifts, ways of decorating, specific things you participate in, special days of doing things and meshing those together can sometimes be tricky. But they can be unique to you and so much fun. We encourage you to do two things:

1. Remember it is about you both and your family first. What works for you as a couple and for your future children is what you need to focus on.
2. Respect one another's memories. Find ways to combine things you both love about your family memories. For example, Daddy's family opened Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve. My family did Christmas morning. The compromise ... Christmas Eve our children opened one gift (typically Christmas jammies) and the rest on Christmas morn.

Have fun on the holidays you have ahead. Celebrate with joy. Truly understand the meaning behind the faith holidays in celebrating. You will have days ahead filled with jobs, challenges, responsibilities and the like, so making sure to find ways to observe yearly festivities will give you things to look forward to and memories to last your lifetime.

Discussion: Share how your family celebrated each holiday and birthdays? What are similar about your celebrations? What are different? What would you like to incorporate from each way of celebrating?

Prayer: Father, we thank You that we have so many opportunities to celebrate! And we're especially thankful for the holidays that celebrate You! Lord we pray we can create new ways of celebrating with one another while keeping many of our traditions from our individual families. In Jesus we pray, Amen.

All Hallow's Eve

Today is Halloween! Such a fun holiday that our family truly enjoyed celebrating, from dressing up to trick-or-treating. A day of pretend and candy! What is not to love?

Each October, I trek into the attic to bring down the box of orange and black decorations, from my pumpkin lights, to my painted pumpkin acorns, to my cackling Janglin' Bones skeleton head. I also pull out the Halloween books, favorites like "The Ghost's Dinner" and "The Halloween Performance." But one book I didn't get until after my kids were grown and off to college. It's called "Room on the Broom."

I stood in the store and read this book by Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler from beginning to end. It's a sing-songy rhythmic rhyme of a book telling the story of a witch and her cat who continue to allow woodland creatures to have room on her broom as she flies about. Each animal - a dog, bird and frog - has helped her find something she's lost. When the frog leaps for joy while on the broom, it snaps in two and falls to the ground. It's then that a dragon finds the witch and decides he's going to eat her. Just as he's about to devour her, a muddy, sticky, feathered and furry beast comes out of the woods telling the dragon to "Buzz off! That's my witch!" The dragon flies off in fear, and the grateful witch thanks the animals who had piled on top of one another to look like a large scary beast to save her. She drops items donated by the animals into a cauldron and out pops a huge, stronger broom with accommodations for all.

I love this book. In the midst of a holiday filled with scary costumes, comes this precious book about being selfless, helping each other and working together.

Brad and I had a friend after we first married, named Dan, who waved to everyone. I mean, everyone. We asked him about it once and he said, "You never know when you might need their help someday." I used to wonder if Dan was ever on the side of the road with a flat tire and one of these folks stopped by and said, "Hey you're that fellow who always waves to me. Can I help you change your tire?" Regardless, he was always friendly.

I think it's that attitude of reaching out to every soul that touched my heart. I see that in both of you. You are always looking for ways to show people around you how much you love them, whether through food you cook or birthday crowns you make. And those tiny, sweet gestures touch the heart and are lasting and of value to the recipient.

We want to make sure you do the same for each other. Take time to do something every single day to show how much you love each other, without them asking or expecting it. It's something when you are first dating that people often do for each other, but as you are together for years, can slip into the past. Sweet things like Brad sitting through one of my goofy television shows just to sit near me. Or me cooking Brad a hearty meatloaf using his Dad's recipe because I know he loves it. Or Brad carrying the laundry basket into the bedroom cause it knows it is too heavy for me. Or me washing his car inside and out while he's gone so he has a clean car. Those little things can mean so much.

Halloween means All Hallow's Eve or All Holy Night. It's the night before All Saints Day commemorating the departed faithful. Its a good time to remember that part of being faithful, a saint if you will, is fulfilling something John Wesley once said:

"Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can.” 

And do it for each other. Happy Halloween!

Discussion: For fun, share about some of your favorite childhood Halloween memories. Tell about a time when someone did something thoughtful and unexpected for you. When you did something for someone else.

Prayer: Lord, Paul tells us in Acts 20:35 that your Son said "It is more blessed to give than receive." Help us to be true givers of time, talent and sweet gestures and gifts to your children and to each other. Thank you that you are the greatest giver of all. In Jesus, Amen.