Holiday Celebrations

Growing up, our family did holidays big. Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween ... we had fun. The relatives got together and we would giggle with our cousins till the dreaded "Kids it's time to go," would be shouted by the parents. The memories I have of those celebrations are wonderful. Birthday cakes decorated by my mother. Bountiful feasts for the holidays. Decorations everywhere. They were happy times. When I met Brad, his family celebrated holidays a little differently. Since his immediate family lived away from grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, the celebrations weren't nearly as big, unless they made the trip to Wisconsin to be with them.

Consequently when Brad and I married, we were joining two very different ways of celebrating together. Like Brad's family, we lived far from our extended families, so unless we traveled to Iowa or Pennsylvania (or they traveled here), our holidays became personal affairs, oftentimes including church families in celebrations. We celebrated many Thanksgivings and Easters at parties described as "for families without families." Our Christmas Caroling Campfire has included anyone and everyone (neighbors, church friends, co-workers, co-volunteers) who wanted to celebrate the newborn Christ. We never took our costumed kids to trick-or-treat at their grandparents on Halloween because they didn't live near by. July 4th was always with friends usually swimming in someone's pool then off to the fireworks. Brad and I never forgot to celebrate our anniversary and Valentine's Day in a special and romantic way. And birthdays are a big deal ... all about the person celebrating. With our kids we had birthday parties every single year as they were growing up (lake parties, quinceanera, sweet sixteen, scavenger hunts, water slides, pinatas, princess parties, sports themes). I wanted our family celebrations to be as big and wonderful as I remembered mine as a child. And I think, with our church families and friends, we accomplished that.

I am a big proponent of making memories ... every day if possible (Brad says I need it on a T-shirt: "Make A Memory"). So getting together with family and friends to celebrate is a big part of that. Each holiday only comes around once each year, so I believe in really enjoying each one. Brad wasn't as crazy about big celebrations except on Thanksgiving (let's face it - feast and football, what's not to love?), but, bless him, he not only put up with my big shebangs, but even planned a few (15th Anniversary Surprise Wedding Vow Renewal, anyone? Or 49th birthday Beach Surprise with the kids?).

You couples are coming from different background and traditions with how you celebrate. You may have different foods you eat, ways you open gifts, ways of decorating, specific things you participate in, special days of doing things and meshing those together can sometimes be tricky. But they can be unique to you and so much fun. We encourage you to do two things:

1. Remember it is about you both and your family first. What works for you as a couple and for your future children is what you need to focus on.
2. Respect one another's memories. Find ways to combine things you both love about your family memories. For example, Daddy's family opened Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve. My family did Christmas morning. The compromise ... Christmas Eve our children opened one gift (typically Christmas jammies) and the rest on Christmas morn.

Have fun on the holidays you have ahead. Celebrate with joy. Truly understand the meaning behind the faith holidays in celebrating. You will have days ahead filled with jobs, challenges, responsibilities and the like, so making sure to find ways to observe yearly festivities will give you things to look forward to and memories to last your lifetime.

Discussion: Share how your family celebrated each holiday and birthdays? What are similar about your celebrations? What are different? What would you like to incorporate from each way of celebrating?

Prayer: Father, we thank You that we have so many opportunities to celebrate! And we're especially thankful for the holidays that celebrate You! Lord we pray we can create new ways of celebrating with one another while keeping many of our traditions from our individual families. In Jesus we pray, Amen.